AIBU to speak out after another parent assaulted my son?

[Jazzyted]

So really long story I’m summarising as best I can.

My son was assaulted in January by another parent. We were at a birthday gathering. I’ve no idea what possessed her to touch him but I didn’t realise how bad it was until the following day. I made contact with the mother who’d done it to discuss it and she basically cut me off and said “I’m the adult…!” At this point I contacted the parent on the child whose party it was and explained what had happened. I accept I was upset during that call. However now they’re casting me as the villain basically encouraging their kids to bully mine and they’re not speaking to me which I couldn’t be less bothered about but the lies they’re spreading are grating me. I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own but I am getting a bit exhausted with it all…!

I have reported to police but they’ve done very little At this point.

She had grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards her to remove the item. I can’t say how as I wasn’t watching at the exact moment. He said she twisted him but he had obvious pain. It was treated on site but was still bad the following day. The second scan shows bruising and ligament damage

This is embarrassing

you are free to leave

Again, this makes little sense. If a child presents at hospital or urgent care with an injury that was allegedly caused by another adult, the doctor would have had to follow safeguarding protocol and report it as a non accidental injury. Social services would then interview the child and take it from there. The parent would not have then gone to see a GP and that GP tell them to inform the police.

The GP was a referral for a check up and the walk in did follow protocol.

If you have made an allegation of assault, it will take a long time to be resolved by the police as they have to do a voluntary interview the person the allegation is against, collect evidence and then send to the CPS to decide whether that allegation has enough evidence to proceed to any sort of case. For minor offences, this could take 12 months or longer.
For those wondering why the police would get involved, look up common assault. It's the 'threat' or being afraid of potential violence so the fact that an adult is alleged to have caused an injury means that the allegation could be assault and battery. But, as above a case like this can take a very long time for any decision to be made and the outcome could still be no further action.
As far as I know, solicitors can't speed up the response, so you'd be paying just to be told that it's still in progress.
With regard to the bullying, you would need to involve the school with this

I’m unsure how to say this without sounding like a serial child abuser, but I have to grab my son all of the time.

He’s disabled and completely risk unaware. Commonly it’s because he’s running into the road, today it was because he was eloping in an unfamiliar place, he was running with no idea where to.

Because it’s for safety, you can assume that the initial grip we need while we actually get hold of him safely is quite firm. It’s so firm that he sprained my ankle today trying to wriggle out of it.

He has never, and I mean never, ended up with a bruise from it. Ever.

She must have had hold of that arm with some grip to be damaging ligaments.

If the walk in did follow protocol, why on earth did the GP tell you to report it to police? A social worker would have spoken to your DS in the hospital - That’s the protocol!

They did and determined there was no risk at home. He was exhausted by that point and they wanted to talk again so we agreed to meet them. They felt that was in his best interests. We had to visit the GP the following day as we had an appt already and my son spoke to her about it. She advised it we them met with SS later that day. I’m not sure how it all works (that was originally why we asked a solicitor)

I’m going to bed now. Just so people don’t think I’m ignoring them.

Adults don't share their belongings just because someone wants them to. So why should a child? You seem determined to put op and her son in the wrong. You're bonkers.

You seem to be suggesting that the potential social life of a seven year old boy is more important than whether or.not they were injured (by an adult).

Are you suggesting that you wouldn't get your child's injury checked out to make sure they didn't become a pariah?

I'm saying that kids get hurt in all kinds of ways growing up. I would get them checked out to be safe but "soft tissue injury" is just med speak for a bruise. If it's not life-changing or wilfully malicious injury then I'd just let it go. It's not worth going to the police for because anyone with an ounce of legal common sense knows that they won't do anything about it.

I think you also underestimate the power of social ostracisation on a child's mental health and academic performance. School is already hard enough but filing a police report on another parent is essentially torching your child's entire social life and mental well-being to the ground. As parents, you have a responsibility for making decisions that have your children's best interests at heart.

Also, the way OP writes comes across as strangely terse, socially awkward and stubborn. This entire story feels like there are still bits missing for it make total sense. The OP seems stubbornly fixated on following a GP's advice to send the police after another parent without realising what sort of real life consequences this has. GPs are literally just making small talk. The hospital safeguarding already deemed it not serious. The GP is simply giving their opinion and some doctors tend to err on the side of caution. It doesn't mean they genuinely give a shit whether a patient takes another parent to court.

I think all things pointed out can be true with this… it does sound strange, I feel like a major part is missing or been misconstrued but only because it’s not something you read every day, I really feel for the OP’s son, if you lived near me the other ‘mother’ would have been put on her arse at the time, you are committing social suicide….. it’s like ‘jezza’ for posh people :)

Mad all of it.

@Randomuser2026Nice bit of victim blaming there. The child ‘must’ve’ been misbehaving for an adult to assault him….. You’ve just fabricated that! You weren’t there and don’t know what happened so you’re making assumptions. Appalling.

A CHILD WAS INJURED BY AN ADULT FFS!

Can you please explain why you are cross examining an upset parent whose child was injured by a fully grown adult and is purely asking for advice? What is actually wrong with you?

You're embarrassing. Stop bullying the OP.

Your poor son, you are absolutely right to speak out and keeping speaking out. Advocating for your son and showing him that you don’t tolerate cruelty towards him is all that matters. What a shocking situation to be in.

You’re feeling embarrassed? All anonymous here, don’t worry.

It isn't, you're just being weird (and frankly, a tad creepy).

Yes - I don't understand either why the OP's child should be expected to share a personal possession with a child who is not a member of their family.

And certainly the other child's mother should not have taken this possession away from the OP's child by force to give to her own child. (If that is what happened)

So far as I'm aware we don't live in a society where everything is communally owned and there is no private property...

I wonder what the item was?

Having said all that I don't understand why - if the child's injuries were so severe that they necessitated a trip to hospital - the OP didn't immediately realise what had happened when - in her own words - she was only 5 feet away.

And why telephone the mother of the child whose birthday party it was? What was her involvement?

And why are the other mothers so against the OP and her child?

Having said all that I don't understand why - if the child's injuries were so severe that they necessitated a trip to hospital - the OP didn't immediately realise what had happened when - in her own words - she was only 5 feet away.

It was a sprained wrist, it’s not particularly visible or obvious that’s what’s happened to an observer. And people, especially kids or people with little experience, often think it’s just transitory pain and will be better in the morning. Continued pain and weakness then spurs them into seeking medical attention (or complaining to their mum, who seeks medical attention).

Unfortunately the police will probably be unable to do anything without an adult witnessing it. Unless the offender confesses. Minors do not make good witnesses as any lawyer can trip them up in court.

They would have needed her to identify her son and the woman presumably.