AIBU to speak out after another parent assaulted my son?

[Jazzyted]

So really long story I’m summarising as best I can.

My son was assaulted in January by another parent. We were at a birthday gathering. I’ve no idea what possessed her to touch him but I didn’t realise how bad it was until the following day. I made contact with the mother who’d done it to discuss it and she basically cut me off and said “I’m the adult…!” At this point I contacted the parent on the child whose party it was and explained what had happened. I accept I was upset during that call. However now they’re casting me as the villain basically encouraging their kids to bully mine and they’re not speaking to me which I couldn’t be less bothered about but the lies they’re spreading are grating me. I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own but I am getting a bit exhausted with it all…!

I have reported to police but they’ve done very little At this point.

It does strongly suggest to me that OP son’s was being what is called in the trade “A Little Shit”.

Of course he shouldn’t have been hit, but one the rare occasion I have seen an unrelated adult intervene, it was sorely needed.

So, at a party at an animal park that your 7 year old son attended, your son had something of his own that another child wanted, when asked for it your son said "No" and the parent of the other child grabbed it off him hurting his wrist. You didn't realise at the time that it had caused damage, but the next day your DS admitted he was in a lot of pain so you went to the doctors/clinic/A&E. They did x-rays and scans, there was no fracture but there was soft tissue damage.

You've reported to the police and they are proceeding with an investigation but it's taking time (due to the animal park being in another force area).

You have spoken to the mother who assaulted your son and the host of the party. They are all minimizing what happened and (presumably because of the police investigation that threatens to criminalize the other mother) are turning on you and encouraging their children to bully your DS?

If I've got that summary correct, YANBU at all and I would be fuming and wondering what I could do too. But realistically there isn't a lot that will help. I would get a copy of the police report if you can and take it to the school to explain what 's been going on and that the mothers seem to be encouraging their children to bully DS. I would ask them to keep an eye out. I would encourage DS to make other friends and maybe enroll him in some clubs that are not mainly populated by his school peers. If it comes up in conversation with other parents I would outline what happened very basically and matter of factly and say that you can't say more because the police are involved (but practice this as, from this thread, it seems like you might have a hard time with it). If you are in a small school, I would think about whether a move might be a good idea - this needs careful consideration, but it may be the only way to get your son out of a difficult social situation that he cannot influence.

You need to let the police do their job - there is no other way to hold the other mum accountable, but I would put a bit of pressure on them. Other force or not, if they haven't even got around to interviewing 10ish weeks on, that's really too slow.

I hope your DS is recovered now and that things work out.

Yes the only reasonable scenario is if a child is bouncing off the walls or antagonising other kids and another parent needs to grab them to shake some sense into them or take an item off them. Have seen this happen quite often in school, especially amongst 7-8 year old boys. Sometimes it's literally impossible to get a boy to stop or slow down with verbal instructions.

It's very unfortunate that he got injured but it's extremely unlikely that he was "assaulted" by another parent out of the blue, whilst sitting still and minding his own business.

OP has written what happened.

I have to say, I wouldn’t be happy with another adult “shaking some sense into my son.” I would however be fine with them grabbing him for someone’s safety, or to take something from him that he definitely shouldn’t have.

Where I’m struggling with this though, is that if my son was being a Little Shit, or somehow endangering himself or others, I’d have been close enough to deal with that myself.

I got hold of my son’s wrist literally today, there’d have been no need for another adult to do it.

Try reading RawBloomers post!
She has summarised it all perfectly, and the Mum has confirmed it.
Maybe yours is, but not all boys are "A Little Shit"!

Sorry but my child was not being a little anything. If anything he was to polite in articulating that he was not willing to give something of his to another child. I’m sorry that you assume all children are so but I’m confirming my child was being perfectly well behaved.

Apologies my reply was for @Randomuser2026

I’ve already summarised but let me do so again. My son was being well behaved. He was stood still when she grabbed him. The item in his had belonged to him. My son said no to the mother’s child at which point she grabbed my child and hurt him. I challenged her verbally but she was very aggressive and due to there being other children in the vicinity I walked away WITH my son. She wasn’t taking something back that belonged to her son or “shaking some sense” into him. The damage found the following day was the reason we reported it. Her comments was to me when I asked why she had felt the need to touch my child. Which I agree is very bizarre as I have never hurt someone else’s child.

Spot on - I have asked a solicitor to nudge the police for me.

I don’t think a child not sharing is a good reason to grab them, to be clear, as I’ve said - I only do it myself (or would expect anyone else to) when it’s a matter of safety.

But he politely said no, and there was no verbal altercation between him and the other child, no escalation, no arguments, no nothing - and she just grabbed a perfectly calm and reasonable child?

Yeah you’re right, she’s unhinged.

But the whole thing just sounds nuts.

Who grabs a calm and settled child, why would my son even have his own things at someone else’s birthday party, he wouldn’t have taken them to begin with, where were you when he didn’t want to share his personal items with another child, could you have verbally chipped in before this deranged woman grabbed anyone.

I don’t think grabbing a child to remove an item they don’t want to share is reasonable, and her reaction sounds at best over the top, but there are so many questions about this situation.

It strongly suggests to me everything about the woman. An absolute witch.

I think they are hoping to muddy the waters before I say anything as until now I have told very few people due to the police enquiry.

No, I don’t agree, I think if he was being a shit the other parent would very robustly say so! I cannot think of any situation when I would get physical with even the worst 7 year old unless thy were attacking my child. Or my dog 🤣

Shoot with questions I’ve tried to keep it short but maybe I should’ve gone full info. Basically another mum has said her son is an only child and is not used to being said no too. I think the woman assumes anything he wants he’s entitled too and my child said NO. Not something they hear. I think she’s crazy I mean I was five feet away helping my other son so she could’ve asked me to help IF there was an issue.

Love that you included the dog 🐾

she sounds crazy op.
hope the police take it seriously.
maybe a good idea to get this thread taken down if there’s an ongoing investigation.
good luck. Hope your son is ok.

If you were there, why would you need CCTV? I’m surprised that they let you look at it because it’s evidence in a possible crime.
I’m guessing that presumably, the CCTV doesn’t actually show what happened hence lack of police action. Why have you got a solicitor?

If I was going to bet on how this will out play out… I would put my house on absolutely
nothing happening, the police dismissing entirely and the OP remaining a pariah amongst the parents until her child leaves in year 6

This does sound really tricky OP but well done for standing up for your boy and contacting the police. I really do hope they investigate it properly. If she's done that to your child, you can't help wondering what goes on behind closed doors with her own too.

At least it's the holidays so you're not straight back in to awkward school drop offs. Definitely let the school know before DS returns. Hopefully you'll have an update from the police then too.

The only thing I'd add is that you may want to delete this thread if there is a police investigation. You don't want to affect the outcome.

The part that doesn't add up here is why the other parents would gang up on OP. If the story really happened the way it was described, then it could only be explained by the other mum suffering serious MH problems or psychotic episode. Otherwise there's no logical explanation for an adult assaulting a child sitting alone at a bday party and taking his belongings.

So if the other mum had a mental breakdown of some sort and fractured the wrist of another child at the party, then all the other parents should clearly be on OP's side. There's no earthly reason why they would start to spread rumours and gossip about the mum whose child got hurt.

Based on that, it implies there must be more to the story because the other mum seems to be justifying her actions in some way. No sane adult could witness the version OP told and still be on the perpetrator's side. So there must be something else which the mum is using to sway opinions. And honestly, if someone decided to psychotically break a child's wrist, they would not be trying to drum up more attention and turn all the parents against the victims mother.

The excuse of "being an only child who never gets said no to" sounds very bizarre. Not a single parent of any only child I know has ever said that. If anything, only child parents are acutely aware of being judged by others for their "spoilt" kid so they will go to extremes not to make it obvious to others that they're pandering to their child. Some will still do so in secret, but nobody in their right mind will say it out loud to other parents as a justification for hurting another child. That part straight-up sounds like a lie.

Are you having a fucking laugh? An adult ASSAULTED OP’s 7yr old CHILD and you’re saying it all “sounds utterly farcical?!?!” Are you quite alright?!?!?!

Jazzyted
Sorry, I thought I was answering: Randomuser2026

In your shoes, I’d have gone apeshit if another person touched my child. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever.

I'm unclear as to why you contacted the person who held the party? what did they have to do with it?