AIBU to speak out after another parent assaulted my son?

[Jazzyted]

So really long story I’m summarising as best I can.

My son was assaulted in January by another parent. We were at a birthday gathering. I’ve no idea what possessed her to touch him but I didn’t realise how bad it was until the following day. I made contact with the mother who’d done it to discuss it and she basically cut me off and said “I’m the adult…!” At this point I contacted the parent on the child whose party it was and explained what had happened. I accept I was upset during that call. However now they’re casting me as the villain basically encouraging their kids to bully mine and they’re not speaking to me which I couldn’t be less bothered about but the lies they’re spreading are grating me. I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own but I am getting a bit exhausted with it all…!

I have reported to police but they’ve done very little At this point.

Then why respond at all? Op has updated and provided clear details. People can either take the story on face value or assume it’s trolling/made up and scroll on. I don’t understand the logic behind commenting on something you believe to be false.

It actually shoud be the other way round. If it’s not a serious and complex investigation it would be quicker, as they need to get a charging decision within six months before it goes statute barred. And a sergeant can decide to charge for a common assault it doesn’t need to go to the CPS*

I say ‘should’ though as it all depends on how busy/organised the officer in the case is but if they have CCTV it should be reasonably straightforward

OP what’s been said when you’ve chased the OIC up?

*this being the case if it was England or Wales. Scotland do things differently

But what did the police do and say when you reported it?

Do X-rays show tissue inflammation?

Iti is absolutely not ok for an adult to put their hands on a child, especially another person's child to "shake some sense" them. If someone did that to my child, I would phone the police too.

Ok…..so your child was assaulted badly enough to have inflammation and need an xray, yet you didn’t know how bad it was until the next day, didn’t see it yourself, you haven’t described here exactly what she did and the police aren’t interested despite the injuries and, presumably, witnesses to the incident?
Not one bit of this makes sense and I call bullshit.

Jesus that’s long winded
a woman grabbed him to get a what ever off him and he ended up up with a sprained wrist

just report it to the police and follow the process

No x rays. Don’t but scans do
OP has done amazingly well to get a ct or mri scan off the back of a sore wrist
unless it was severely compromised

@Jazzyted gosh how awful for your son. That is unacceptable behaviour from that mother, who does she think she is that she can do thst to another human and also that she thinks she csn take your childs toy away from him. How do people think this is not assault.

I have read all your replies and you are NOT being unreasonable at all!! Your poor son, I also have a 7 year old son. I wouldn’t grab my own child like that let alone anyone else’s!!

As others have pointed out unless it was to prevent him falling or coming to harm then there’s zero excuse and I really do hope that police take this seriously!!

Does the CCTV capture it all? If so they have no fall back.

I was with my other child at the time.
I have already said I was trying to keep it brief as I didn’t want to write war and peace. It has since being described in details. Police are acting but due to cross boundary forces it is taking longer than it should.

There is some CCTV yes the police collected it and have shared it with the other force involved.

Not sure why you seem to have had so much grief on your post… from your account it seems clear the other parent over stepped the mark and assaulted your son. I hope the Police some positive action.

I can’t believe there are so many messages and no one has asked what other parental altercations OP has been involved with that led her to decide that ‘I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own’

I can’t imagine being in a situation where I am considering ruining another parent’s ‘reputation’… what else have you been up to @Jazzyted ?!

The AIBU is ‘to speak out’ leaving aside whatever happened which is being dealt with by police yes YABU to ‘speak out’ because what on earth do you mean by that (speak out to who? Say what?) and what earthly good would it do?

You will hardly persuade them that she is in the wrong by anything you say if the evidence of their own eyes did not persuade them at the time. If I was the party host I’d be pissed off at you calling me because what the hell am I supposed to do? It wasn’t at my house and I was not responsible in any way for another parents behaviour so why are you involving me? I could say that I’m sorry your child was hurt but I’d be puzzled at you (or indeed her) calling me and want to be left out of it.

If this parent has caused physical harm that has required hospital intervention it will only be Police really, you could look into a civil manner for loss of any earnings and costs but legal fees will be more and they will need access to medical files etc if they choose to take it on, be prepared if they decline due to lack of evidence.

If these children are at the same school you could (calmly) notify the school in an objective manner, purely for a safeguarding perspective along with any Police crime numbers.

I think calling the party host whilst upset will not have been a good move, as what can they do unless you were asking if anyone had seen anything, they may feel threatened or annoyed when they had no idea. I would suggest to do something like this when calm and composed. I do very much appreciate I’d have been spitting bricks and you are right to be seething. Be prepared if no witnesses and no cctv it may amount to nothing.

A calm letter to the school / nursery etc will be enough as they may decline her help for school trips.

I’d be especially pissed off if you got ‘upset’ at me because what the hell was I supposed to do or say? This call was a bad idea and will likely have led the party host to conclude that you might be lying or exaggerating about the original incident even if you weren’t. Speaking out was a bad idea. Keeping quiet, avoiding the person and letting the authorities do their work is the right thing to do.

What was the assault and how was your DS injured, it would have helped if you had put this in the first post.

What did someone do to cause injury and why? And it seems you were close by at the time why didn't you intervene?

what are you looking for an apology? Money?

Why? If an adult hurt my child, I would want to know what happened. I would not be happy with being blanked or shouted at.

You did the right thing OP. Absolutely bonkers that people think it's okay to assault a 7 year old.

When are child's assaulted by an adult it's a child protection issue. It's standard procedure to send them to the hospital for a full medical examination.

Hopefully this is enough to charge said mum. You on the other hand lay low as silence speaks volumes and those usually trying to protest their innocence loudly usually have something to hide 🤷🏼‍♀️

It is very clearly not sufficient to charge the woman, otherwise the police would have done so in Jan or Feb or March or even at some point in April.