AIBU to speak out after another parent assaulted my son?

[Jazzyted]

So really long story I’m summarising as best I can.

My son was assaulted in January by another parent. We were at a birthday gathering. I’ve no idea what possessed her to touch him but I didn’t realise how bad it was until the following day. I made contact with the mother who’d done it to discuss it and she basically cut me off and said “I’m the adult…!” At this point I contacted the parent on the child whose party it was and explained what had happened. I accept I was upset during that call. However now they’re casting me as the villain basically encouraging their kids to bully mine and they’re not speaking to me which I couldn’t be less bothered about but the lies they’re spreading are grating me. I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own but I am getting a bit exhausted with it all…!

I have reported to police but they’ve done very little At this point.

The timeline of everything is also strange and possibly the reason police don't seem to be investigating. If the child sustained a serious injury (eg. bone fracture) then it would been serious and immediately obvious. If the ambulance had to be called to a party venue or if one parent had to rush their child to A&E then everyone will know.

However, the way it's described sounds like the party ended without any problems, everyone said their merry goodbyes and went home. There was clearly no medical emergency that evening or during the night. It was only the next day that they went to hospital to get it checked out. As a result of that, the OP has created an issue amongst the parents and got the police involved.

My suspicion is that many of the other parents feel it was an overreaction or delayed reaction to a situation that they didn't deem as serious. OP mentions xrays and inflammation (aka bruising?) but doesn't specify if there were any bones broken. Sadly if nothing comes out of the investigation then OP's son is doomed to be an outcast at school as a result of this.

Yes you’re right

that is the reality. The DS will suffer for this peculiar vendetta the Op seems to have against…. Well everyone

You didn't need to tell the other parent.. it just causes drama.

I hope the police take this seriously. There's no excuse for what she did.

Yes, nobody wants to risk their child being friends with the boy whose mum called the police on another parent. The biggest red flag for me is that there was a significant time delay between the alleged assault and getting police and hospitals involved. If it was a serious injury then all of this would have happened immediately during the party with police and ambulances called on scene.

Most parents would never risk the liability of being friends with family like this. Imagine the child gets hurt at a play date or party and the mum decides to call the police on you 2 days later. Either way, the poor boy's social life is absolutely dead as a result of this now.

Hit?

he wasn't hit.

Honestly I have too many.

Why did your son have his own things at a birthday party?

Does he usually have a sharing problem? Boundaries are all well and good, but flat out refusal to share wouldn’t pass in my house.

What actually was the injury he sustained?

Why are all of your friends batshit enough to side with someone who allegedly assaulted a 7 year old.

Is there a chance she touched your kid (when she admittedly shouldn’t have) and this whole thing has actually gone too far?

I think I’d have confronted her first and let her know she actually hurt him before getting police and solicitor involved. It all sounds a bit crazy but agree that she should it have grabbed your boy. You always
get those nuts ‘my child is the only person that matters’ parents but solicitors and police? Does she even know he is hurt?

Did the other mother grab his wrist to get the toy off your son or grab him in anger because he'd said no ??

it’s unlikely to go anywhere with police as there us no serious injury and evidence is ropey with strident anti witnesses

you could tell the school and go down the safeguarding route that way if there is any aggression at home you have protected her kid from harm maybe ?

Pertinent questions

Hence the tumbleweed response from @Jazzyted

Sounds like you think that’s a good outcome? Was that accidental?

He had taken an item that he had won earlier on with him. He doesn’t have a sharing problem no but he wasn’t happy to share this item and a no means no in our house. He didn’t want to share and I accept that. He had ligaments and soft tissue damage (enough to keep him off his activities for a month and then back on light joining in) Thsts a very good question and they are no longer people I consider friends. Baring in mind they’ve never actually asked me or him what happened!

No I was busy. You’ll see the questions have now being answered. My concerns are raised by your seeming delight at someone potentially getting away with injuring a child.

Yes. I confronted her at the time but she was quite aggressive in her response so I walked away as I didn’t want more kids upset. I telephoned her the day after but she was unwilling to talk just kicked off again. It was my GP who said it needed reporting and we followed that advice.

Both she was angry he said no and then took the item from him.

I am expecting very little from the police but i have reported as per the gp request.

My child’s social life is fine thanks. We’ve had m injuries in other places but never by an adult with no reason for touching him.

No means no in my house too, when I say it.

When my son says it, it depends if he’s wrong or not.

For example - if he’s decided that sharing a zip line is a no, it’s actually a yes and either way he’s coming off it after his turn.

She was in the wrong for grabbing a child, but I’m doubtful I would be involving the police, and I’d be having a conversation with him about turn taking and sharing when he’s in a social setting. If he can’t manage that, fair enough, but the prize would be in my bag til home time.

That doesn’t make an adult forcibly taking it from him right, but I think there’s lessons to be learned on both sides here.

If the mother had done this to another adult, and it had been reported to the police on the advice of a GP and with the help of a solicitor, what would the legal position be?

I contacted the police because I was advised to by the GP. I looked at it from the perspective that I wouldn’t give my phone to another adult and he felt the same about his item. He was worried about it being damaged and I get that. He has no issue understanding sharing items and had done repeatedly (zip lines/swings etc)

That’s a good question and one I’m advised can and has resulted in legal and civil action.

Well we’ll see. I asked for an opinion and yours is received.

Report the woman to social services. If she's assaulted your son to that extent in public, what's she doing with her own son behind closed doors!

What actually happened to cause those injuries?

Me too but we’ve spoken with a solicitor who is a friend of a friend in case we need anymore help.