AIBU to speak out after another parent assaulted my son?

[Jazzyted]

So really long story I’m summarising as best I can.

My son was assaulted in January by another parent. We were at a birthday gathering. I’ve no idea what possessed her to touch him but I didn’t realise how bad it was until the following day. I made contact with the mother who’d done it to discuss it and she basically cut me off and said “I’m the adult…!” At this point I contacted the parent on the child whose party it was and explained what had happened. I accept I was upset during that call. However now they’re casting me as the villain basically encouraging their kids to bully mine and they’re not speaking to me which I couldn’t be less bothered about but the lies they’re spreading are grating me. I always said I wouldn’t ruin another parent’s reputation to defend my own but I am getting a bit exhausted with it all…!

I have reported to police but they’ve done very little At this point.

From other posts I would say she has a spoilt only child and she thinks the world revolves around her and her child.
The offender, I mean.

Depends on the cctv. It maybe not clear if the woman twisted the boys wrist or if the boy twisted it retracting from the woman's grasp. These things matter unfortunately. Although she should not have approached the boy at all.
Hope your son feels better soon OP and this blows over for him. Hopefully the children will ignore their stupid parents instructions and just treat your boy as their friend.

Will all this going on i am surprised this didn't make the news

Actually wrist injuries can be very hard to diagnose. Even xrays can be inconclusive. My son has had a few and they end up with a possibly just sprained but treat as broken diagnoses.
Not all broken arms show up as expected either.

She did. The woman just said she was the adult.

What led up to this assault? Did your child attack hers and she got in between them? It just seems so random.

@Jazzyted I think this is best left to the police. But if you think they are being a bit slow then do nag them a bit, they are only human and those who shout loudest get most attention.

The main thing I wanted to post though was please ignore the cross examiners and self appointed gate keepers. Your story, though spread over several posts, is reasonable and self consistent. I believe you and I believe reporting it to the police is reasonable. The other mother was criminally unreasonable.
I hope your son feels better soon, you might consider physio and supplements to ensure he fully recovers.

I lost the will to live after the first 3 pages or so, but did the child burst into tears, cry or in any manner evince agony at the time? And really, honestly, the police AND a solicitor to hurry the cops up? ((shakes head)). At the "class of 2026" 25th reunion, this incident will have become the stuff of legend. You will be remembered as "the precious mummy". Your son will be persecuted. Let it go before you both become pariahs.

To comply with GDPR, they should not allow random people to look at CCTV. The police - yes. If a crime had been reported to the Police, it’s up to them to obtain the CCTV.
https://www.gov.uk/request-cctv-footage-of-yourself

You are right to be furious and very upset. Based on what you've said, this woman's behaviour was disgusting. What's even worse is that she's now minimising it and not even bothered about how your son is now, which tells us a lot about her.
Talk to the school and agree a plan to minimise contact between your son and the bullying boys. And sit tight and let the legal wheels turn. I'd avoid communication with either the assaulting woman or the party host so you don't jeopardise any investigations by the police.

Sadly, people don't like to rock the boat. Something similar happened to ds. Other parents witnessed it. Some of those parents told me it was awful... but did nothing in the moment. Others witnessed it but claimed they didnt or that it was "unclear".

I have nothing to do with those parents now and will never be willingly in the same space with them again.

2 parents (dads) stepped into protect ds. I dont know the one and I still regret not tracking him down to thank him personally.

People are weak..

You must have missed the part where I said it’s unreasonable and unhinged to grab a child to remove something from them, and the only circumstances I’d be comfortable with someone doing so to my child is if it was a safety concern.

Two things can be true at once though. For the most part, we teach our children sharing and turn taking, and most people wouldn’t allow their child to take their own items to group activities where there’s already things to do.

Wouldn't most of us say “No, Timmy, you’re not taking your toys to Bobbys birthday party, it’s not your day and there’s already things there for you to do”? Or as a minimum “Why didn’t you want to share with your friend?”

The idea that a 7 year olds “no means no” is absurd. I have a 9 year old, he says no all the time, and quite often that’s because he’s being unreasonable.

I’m doubting the severity and information we’ve been given.

No adult I know would grab a reasonable and non-escalated child, and they wouldn’t support it if someone else did either. For OP to know so many clearly bizarre people, something has to be missing from this story.

I'd be interested to hear the other side of this story

What are you looking for OP do you want this woman jailed/fined/her child taken off her ? Yes she should not have grabbed your sons wrist that was wrong but the police and solicitors seem a bit OTT with you clearly saying its not me it’s doctors advice when even hospital had done a check. But you seem a bit hell bent on vengeance it all a bit odd. When will you be happy when her child is taken off her or what. What do you want the outcome yo be? Don’t say it’s up to police solicitors etc. be honest what are you really looking for here ?

I think this is it too. Everyone saw him go off, and he was fine a day and night. Something broken, sprained or inflamed would be almost immediate within that time frame. I guess everyone is also thinking that something else happened at home.

Barring a fundamental lie in the OP’s account I really can’t see how I could view the other parent’s behavior as acceptable.
She twisted a child’s wrist so far that it was sore the next day and a medical examination revealed damage.

A SW did speak with him. As explained my son was exhausted and very emotional. They determined that he was safe at home and that they could interview him the following day. We already had a GP appointment in the morning and my son discussed it with her and so she advised reporting it. We attended a SW interview later that day

???

Aye right

This must be really upsetting for you OP and I really do hope your child is ok. Is there an option to move him school or involve the school if it's bullying happening there? I once had to fully grab hold of a toddler because they were inches from being hit with a car after running into the road. I profusely apologised to the parent but they insisted I didn't need to and it could've been a lot worse. I still wonder if I hurt him when I grabbed him but I stand firm now that it could've been a lot worse circumstances if I didn't. If it's not identifying can you explain how the assault happened? Was it malicious, or for his own safety?

you don’t have one single friend who attended to the party? You have been vilified by every adult present?

If someone assaulted my child and left them needing medical treatment I would go nuclear. I would absolutely be telling everyone and I would definitely be upset. That is not an overreaction.

Im confused why 41% of voters think the op is unreasonable. Are we saying it’s ok for an adult to grab a child in this scenario? Wild.

I'm going to guess that those 41 per cent are skeptical about the OP/situation