AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

[babypickles]

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

And again, the difference here is that there is no evidence that this man either has limited mental capacity or is not ‘of sound mind’. OP has disclosed he was sectioned under the Mental Health Act. A section temporarily removes the need for consent in relation to confinement and treatment of the MH condition. It does not assess mental capacity and the patient retains the right to consent in matters not related to their treatment.

I have not ridiculed or criticised those making valid points. I’ve challenged those making ableist and unfounded assumptions about mental health, based on personal bias and stereotyping. I haven’t expressed an opinion on OP starting a romantic relationship other than to advise her to take a step back and think things through before acting. Which clearly she has.

Yes. If you read back through the thread, there have been various words used to describe those with mental health conditions. Loony, loopy, nut job, walking red flag. And one of the posters you were defending was deleted several times for violating talk policy.

I’m sorry if you found my attitude combative or offensive, but having worked in the area of disability support for a very long time, I’m finding some of the ignorance of mental health and the terminology used shocking and depressing, as is the prevailing attitude that those who have or have had MH problems are to be avoided socially at all costs.

Do you think though perhaps people do actually have experience which is why they’re giving the advice they have. My mother was first sectioned when I was 4. This has obviously shaped my own views. She is currently very mentally unwell and is completely stark raving mad. It’s absolutely devastating and my poor dad has suffered massively.

I could never recommend anyone starting a relationship with someone under section. When my mother has been under section, the person there is not her. It is different if you meet someone with a past who is stable but in this case, this person is severely unwell.

You clearly haven’t read the thread or you would know. You accused me of ‘storming on to the thread’ after l answered one of your posts, when the reality is I’ve participated throughout the thread trying to challenge some of the disgusting attitudes displayed towards mental health. So in actual fact you are the one who has stormed in with no knowledge of the previous discussion. It’s not the job of other posters to bring you up to speed.

don’t you have enough problems of your own without taking on a vulnerable person who needs care and shouldn’t be dating anyway in that state of mind? YABU

But the point here is that you are not the one with the MH using the terminology about yourself. You applied it to OP’s friend, who may or may not find that acceptable. It’s not for you to make a judgement call for others on the use of what are basically derogatory terms, based on one example. I’m not for one moment suggesting that the ability to find humour isn’t a good thing, but the person with the condition should be the one to take the lead. Anything else is bullying.

That doesn’t excuse your entitlement in thinking that everyone should be OK with it, just because your friend was. There’s a fine line, and this kind of thinking often descends into bullying.

A new relationship is not what a person on section needs

You are absolutely unreasonable

The op literally asked 'am I delusional?' And the answer is 100% yes!

The word is inappropriate.

I absolutely do not believe the mindset & comments on here. These comments are why people like me never open up regarding mental health. I had a complete emotional breakdown in 2014 & had a choice. Go to the unit voluntarily in the morning or my DH would have to have me committed & there was no way I was going to do that to him. I was in for 2 weeks & was very poorly for a long time. Even now 12 years on if I'm feeling bad with a "mental" headache I worry I'm going to be that poorly again. When I was ill my eldest dgd was 5 & she was/is the light of my life. You lot on here would have banned me from seeing her although she was better than any medication.
I'm so sorry op for all the ignorant people on here. Being sectioned doesn't automatically mean your a danger. If you want a chat feel free to dm me 💐

It's almost impossible to get sectioned. This person must be severely mentally ill. Why anyone would think it's appropriate to consider dating a man in such a vulnerable position is incomprehensible.

The stupidity of women like the OP astounds me.

The very fact that he's been sectioned suggests he does not have capacity. Jesus. Leave the poor man alone, he is not in a position to date!

mental illness does not mean a person does not have capacity!