AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

[babypickles]

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

Because she can rescue him and make him all better! And its so wonderful to be needed, and he is just looking for someone to rescue him and here you are

How long as he been sectioned and did you meet him while he was or before?
I would think that someone who is sectioned, and has been for a good while, would be extremely vulnerable and not in the best position to make good decisions. Plus have you even met him in person?
Maybe get to know him as a friend first- I wouldn’t even be considering a relationship until he’d been out of the facility, settled and potentially in community treatment and stable for a good long time (at least a year).
Is it safe to assume you also have MH issues if you met via a support forum? You need to consider your own needs as well OP.

The people on here being so unkind and acting like OP is some kind of predator should bear in mind it’s likely that OP is also fairly vulnerable with MH issues and needs kindness and empathy.

This is a good response.

some of the comments here are awful and very judgmental regarding MH. It can affect anyone, even the most hard working and honest people.

But yes it is probably not the best time for either of you to start a romantic relationship and also your life with him could be really hard if he relapses

People with poor MH and trauma aren’t red flags

Be there (with boundaries)as a friend to this person if you like them, but don't start dating them at such a chaotic tone in their life.

Ok. So, you've come to MN and asked a question. The responses have overwhelmingly advised you not to pursue a relationship with this man and it seems that wasn't what you wanted to be told.
End of the day, it's your choice. You know him. We don't.
BUT you met in a support group so I'm assuming you are fragile (for want of a better word) yourself. You have children. You like this man and he has expressed that he has feelings for you.
It's flattering and you're tempted but is it a good idea? Really?
Mental health issues can be all consuming for those around the person suffering. And I mean all consuming. If you're dealing with your own issues then the advice is always, always, to make your recovery a priority. I guarantee that if you get involved with someone who clearly has his own recovery to prioritise you will become lost in his issues and put your own progress back.
Ultimately it's your choice but what do stand to gain from this relationship and what could you potentially lose as a result?

The word is discharged not released.

There is a huge amount of stigma still attached to severe mental illness & language matters.

I've been detained under the mental health act and discharged from section several times.

Hi, I've worked in Mental Health and YOU will be viewed with suspicion by his Care Workers. Even though these patients are are supposed to lead normal lives with support- it don't really work like that. Sorry to disappoint.

This is just PEDANTIC and not a real answer.

Guessing he’d have to be accompanied by a mental health care professional on any date if he’s an inpatient under a mental health sectioning?

Honestly, no. Especially since you have children. He’s probably very nice and is doing all the right things for his mental health, but for me there would be too much risk.

Not if he has leave no

But if he doesn’t have leave?

Well he wouldn't be able to go.

Does he have unaccompanied leave? Or was that not covered?

What an awful post. Try reading the updates. OP said quite a while back that they were going to be friends and nothing more for a while.

I hope so. OP has said over and over that she’s only considering friendship and to date nobody has bothered to read the updates because she’s still being lectured on the dangers of a romantic connection to someone with MH problems.

Posters are responding to the original op where it is very clear the op is indeed seriously considering embarking on a romantic relationship.

The fact she changes her mind doesn’t negate the fact that she was even considering it in the first place - hence posters making their points on the original OP

Absolutely this. Some of the responses are, and continue to be ignorant in the extreme. The difference between the MHA and the MCA and the difference between consent and capacity have been explained over and over, and still posters are ignoring the facts.

Well they should read the updates then. That’s what they’re for.

Utter bollocks.

I have no idea but its common for patients to be granted leave as their mental health starts to improve and for periods of leave to be increased before discharge .

I have been sectioned many times. I am under CMHT right now.

Can you please explain to me why I do not deserve love? Can you explain how I am not capable of relationships.