AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

[babypickles]

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen such shameless ableism and incorrect stereotyping on MN. And that’s saying something.

Yes, this.

I unfollowed this thread but it kept popping up, and it is fucking awful to see that nothing has really changed on it.

OP still says she will just be friend with this man... and all the stereotyping of people with MH issues still keeps coming.

Fucking hell. Some of you are really nasty people.

I tried to unfollow it, but as you say, it kept cropping up. I’ve had over twenty years experience of working with the disabled as an outreach/support worker - a fair proportion of those had mental health issues of varying degrees. I never fail to be disgusted and disappointed by MN when it comes to attitudes towards those who suffer from mental health issues. Nowhere else have I seen such ignorant and downright ableist attitudes - words like ‘loopy’, nut job’ and ‘red flag’ bandied about by people who clearly have no idea what they’re talking about and no respect for those who do. Shameful and depressing.

Guess again. There will have been a risk assessment, and whether he is allowed out accompanied or with supervision is the decision of the treating clinicians.

So yes… there is a possibility he wouldn’t be allowed out unaccompanied

Possibility, not an automatic assumption. It depends on whether he’s approaching discharge because unaccompanied leave is part of the preparations for regaining independence. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone under section is a danger to others - there are many reasons for section and people do recover with support.

I was allowed out on leave, but it was with my DP.
When I have been an informal patient, there were times I was only let out with staff from the ward.

I asked a question
?

You have stormed on to the thread ridiculing / criticising / scalding who would have the audacity not to consider a romantic relationship with someone currently an inpatient due to being section because they don’t want to take the risk of it happening again - and their children being involved.

You cannot be this desperate surely?

He’s an in patient so probably likely he would need to be accompanied too.

was your DP in your life before you were sectioned? Or did you meet him when you were under a section order and an inpatient?

Before I was sectioned. But from the comments on this thread, I should be alone forever.

@DotAndCarryOne2 has actually been very informative and measured on this thread.
She has been combatting the various misconceptions coming up about people in hospital, especially surrounding capacity.
I am really glad she is posting and sticking up for us "loony" people.

You put “loony” in quotes

did any poster use that word?

RTFT

So no one used that word you put in quotes. Got it

I’m sure you are trying to be kind and open-minded, but someone who is sectioned is extremely unwell.
You owe it to yourself (and especially your children if you have them, given this is Mumsnet) to have the most stable and happy relationship possible.
That can’t happen if he is sectioned and seriously mentally unwell.

My apologies... it was actually "loopy"... which has been used on this thread multiple times.
But haul me over the coals for getting one letter wrong.

Pedant's Corner is that way... 👉

Edit
i have seen

Ah yes here

unpleasant

Maybe if you quote someone you should see what they post subsequently. When I was criticised for saying loopy I explained that I didn't believe every single aspect of mental health had to be treated with utmost seriousness and there could never be humour or irreverence.

I used that word because a friend of mine who has bipolar disorder and was sectioned due to her behaviour refers to that time as when she was a loopy nutcase and has no problem with people using the word. If she's happy to use it then so am I.

If you read further then you'd see a further comment from another poster who has mental problems saying she agreed with me and refers to her times of mental illness in a variety of different irreverent terms.

I dread to think how much time some people are spending on this thread getting annoyed and upset by it when it's easy to hide threads you don't want to see.

@XenoBitch see my above post.

If someone is ok with being called "loopy" then they only speak for themselves.

A PP was using it in a derogatory way.

And my neighbours use it in a derogatory way to me, along with twirling their finger at the side of their head when they see me.
I do not see it as "light hearted" or funny at all. Not when people use it to bully.

Your neighbours are obviously bullying arseholes. Not everyone who uses the word loopy is like that, however.

Being told to tolerate a stigmatising term because other people find it funny, is not really acceptable.