“You are lucky to get £7”

[LemonadeCake]

I’ve been debating whether to just close my child maintenance claim altogether. My ex pays £7 a week and always has and realistically, it’s been years, he’s never going to get a job, so it’s not likely to change.

I mentioned this to someone and they told me I was “lucky” to even get £7 because they get nothing 🤦‍♀️

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit annoyed by that? Am I really supposed to feel grateful for £7 a week? It barely covers anything it might as well be nothing, and honestly sometimes I think I’d rather it was nothing than this token amount that makes no real difference but means he can say he “pays” for the children. Theres been times when I’ve got nothing due to him having debts that take priority but I’ve never once felt anyone else was lucky to receive maintenance for their children.

They then said their ex has the kids every other weekend so that’s why they don’t get anything… but if I’m honest, I’d rather have that arrangement. At least then you’ve got some time to yourself and a bit less day-to-day cost. But obviously that’s not something you can say out loud without it sounding awful but it’s ok to tell me I'm lucky?

Is the bar really this low now? 🤷‍♀️

Put it towards Christmas presents, OP, or into a fund for annual school uniforms etc.

Wow it’s gone up a whole £2 a week since 2014 when I closed my claim. I decided to close it as the extra £20 a month wasn’t worth my ex being able to track down my DC in the future and claim that he’d always paid me money for her, as he’s a manipulative, evil man and no doubt that would be part of his spiel.

People seem to be telling me the opposite and that if I close it he will track them down and tell them he tried to pay but I wouldn’t let him 🤦‍♀️

Yeah also possible I guess. But then he should have a nice amount of money saved for them when he says that to prove that he did try. Or…not.

UC won't cut his benefits for lodgers I'm pretty sure that for a lodger in your household they don't even have to be declared or it at least doesn't affect their benefits. He's clearly found a loophole to continue paying bare minimum of child maintenance

I discovered this today. Any rental income over £7500 a year is taxable though. UC do expect you to declare your circumstances to them, ie renting out rooms even if they do not reduce benefits and there is high consequences if you don’t.

However, CMS is different to UC. OP can request a variation of maintenance based on his actual income not just his UC. She just needs to contact CMS with a statement that he has x amount of bedrooms and is renting x number out, and her observations (evidence) of this. Multiple people in and out of house, numerous cars parked outside etc… she doesn’t need statement records etc.. but just enough to get their reaction to review her CMS claim and they will investigate themselves.

You shouldnt shut the claim, put it in bonds so when theyre 18 that sad £7 can be 10k. But I undertan why you want to and I actually propably would cause I am a petty bitch that would get more satisfaction in knowing that he can't go around claiming that he pays the assigned maintenance.

Where to me. It’s one less bottle of vodka for him to drink and pisses him off having to pay it to me

begrudges paying if out of his free benifit money 🙄

Honestly I know it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d rather he was involved than any money, the thing that annoyed me more is that he created a situation where he could never have his children at his house. He use to see them outside or at mine but I had to stop allowing him in mine and he took them out for a bit but couldn’t stick to it, the money is very much second to all of that. He will have to explain to his kids when they are older if they are bothered about seeing him.

well phone hmrc and say you have suspicions and they should investigate it. you will either be better off or things will stay the same.

It’s money to benefit the children, so save it for when they’re older and they’ll need it more!
Anything they need when young should be paid for by the parent!

They should. They dont

Don't they need food, clothes and a roof now? Hobbies, days out?

oh i didn’t realise my ex wasn’t their parent 🤔

You think that the paltry amount of £7 a week from the child’s actual father shouldn’t be used to pay towards essentials like uniform and food? Jesus wept, the bar is in hell.

Sorry if my comment was ill considered. I agree the situation is utterly crap. Institutional sexism at its finest.

Anything they need when young should be paid for by the parent!

indeed, but instead of covering what children need, one of the parents pays 7 quid and considers it done..