“You are lucky to get £7”

[LemonadeCake]

I’ve been debating whether to just close my child maintenance claim altogether. My ex pays £7 a week and always has and realistically, it’s been years, he’s never going to get a job, so it’s not likely to change.

I mentioned this to someone and they told me I was “lucky” to even get £7 because they get nothing 🤦‍♀️

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit annoyed by that? Am I really supposed to feel grateful for £7 a week? It barely covers anything it might as well be nothing, and honestly sometimes I think I’d rather it was nothing than this token amount that makes no real difference but means he can say he “pays” for the children. Theres been times when I’ve got nothing due to him having debts that take priority but I’ve never once felt anyone else was lucky to receive maintenance for their children.

They then said their ex has the kids every other weekend so that’s why they don’t get anything… but if I’m honest, I’d rather have that arrangement. At least then you’ve got some time to yourself and a bit less day-to-day cost. But obviously that’s not something you can say out loud without it sounding awful but it’s ok to tell me I'm lucky?

Is the bar really this low now? 🤷‍♀️

Which he should be declaring to the dwp. Having the kids overnight would not affect his benefits.

He is not declaring it.

I’d have wanted to punch the person who said that. And then your ex!

Having a rental property is a very traceable asset. This is additional income for him.
A CMS tribunal would ask him to submit financial information for this.
If he’s got money then he should be paying adequate maintenance, I’m sick of men doing whatever they can to avoid supporting their children.

Well he should be reported

And if the money from the rental property is going into his bank the dwp can spot check him and find out anyway

I’m not planning to report it as I don’t have any evidence, so I doubt anything would come of it anyway. He also lives there himself and just rents out rooms to lodgers. It’s in a very affluent part of central London, so the rent involved is quite high. He said that he earns enough that he doesn’t have to work. So he's not crying over £7 taken from his benefits

It’s been £1 a day for years

uc goes up but cms doesn’t

YANBU to want to close the claim, but keep it open in case his income goes up. It would be less hassle than starting a new claim.

It’s really extremely unlikely; it’s been £7 a week for 8 years, I can’t see it changing any time soon i had hope in the beginning that he'd be forced to work but clearly not 😕

I got nothing either but ine day I got a letter

It was saying that 'mr x (their father) had to pay (wait for it....) £2.49 for child one and child two'

This wasnt per day,week or even a year-it was £2.49 (not £249) as a one off as his benefits had gone down (as he had hit some threshold)

He went mental-demanded 'his' money back and slagged me off to anyone who would listen

I didnt even get the £2.49 for some reason it never appeared

And the bloke on the other end of the phone at the csa told me to be 'grateful' as 'many women don't even get that'

I was meant to be grateful for less than £2.50 in 25+ years

If id paid that for them,they would have been taken into care and me in prison

This is theft and you’re allowing it. If you want more money mention to CMS about him renting the rooms. Does he own the property or is UC paying for that too?

If you don’t report it, then stop moaning about just getting £7 pw or help looking after the kids. You could be lucky if you did the right thing but you’re choosing not to.

Im not reporting it but thanks for your comment. I want to close my claim I don’t care about it anymore, it was the comment saying im lucky that annoyed me.

You’re choosing not to be lucky!

YANBU.

I’m going through a really shit time at the moment, and almost everyone I mention it to bends over backwards to find a worse situation, and tell me I’m “lucky” it isn’t that. I used to smile and nod, now I just say “I don’t feel very lucky to be honest”.

I don’t have any evidence, maybe if I did I’d be tempted to report like actual hard evidence he couldn’t deny. Yes UC pay his rent and he is allowed to earn from rental income and still claim UC as it’s disregarded by UC if you look into it he is allowed to earn money from lodgers with no limit and still claim UC.

Just stick it in a savings account for you children?
That way you can know that YOU are not receiving anything from him yourself

No he’s not! Don’t be ridiculous. He can’t rent out rooms UC are paying for. Plus he has to declare his income. You don’t need hard evidence, you just need to tell them what he is doing. They will investigate and determine if it’s legitimate or not.

If he has to stop renting the rooms, his income will reduce and hopefully this will force him to have to work and you will get more CMS and possible weekend childcare too.

He can, look into it, it’s disregarded.

..

There’s no way UC will pay for the roof over his head as he’s not working but he’s free to rent out the rooms for extra cash and not have to declare it.

Does he have the extra room/s because he says he looks after his child?

What he’s doing is wrong. He’s thieving off the tax-payer and you’re getting ripped off too.

Call them, they’ll soon tell you if you or me is correct.

He does not have the rooms because of my children he had the property before I met him.

£7 a week is an absolute travesty. I can't quite understand how that is worked out! But, like others have said don't cancel it!! Keep taking it from that tosser and spend it on sweeties and lottery tickets. Don't let him off the hook however insultingly tiny the hook is.

It’s not money for you it’s for his children, put it in a savings account for when they’re older and they can decide what to do with their money

Yes I think it’s my money 🤦‍♀️ you know what I use it for my hair and nails 💅