“You are lucky to get £7”

[LemonadeCake]

I’ve been debating whether to just close my child maintenance claim altogether. My ex pays £7 a week and always has and realistically, it’s been years, he’s never going to get a job, so it’s not likely to change.

I mentioned this to someone and they told me I was “lucky” to even get £7 because they get nothing 🤦‍♀️

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit annoyed by that? Am I really supposed to feel grateful for £7 a week? It barely covers anything it might as well be nothing, and honestly sometimes I think I’d rather it was nothing than this token amount that makes no real difference but means he can say he “pays” for the children. Theres been times when I’ve got nothing due to him having debts that take priority but I’ve never once felt anyone else was lucky to receive maintenance for their children.

They then said their ex has the kids every other weekend so that’s why they don’t get anything… but if I’m honest, I’d rather have that arrangement. At least then you’ve got some time to yourself and a bit less day-to-day cost. But obviously that’s not something you can say out loud without it sounding awful but it’s ok to tell me I'm lucky?

Is the bar really this low now? 🤷‍♀️

At the risk of repeating myself - by cancelling the claim you're cutting your child's nose off because of your spite at your ex.

You child is not going to always be a child. £7 a week now is no good to man nor beast, but if you invest it, and get tax relief on it by using a SIPP, your child will grow up into 68 year old with an extra £19000 a year.

I have children it would be split between them.

I get nothing from the kids dad and wouldnt dream of saying that

I’m actually in shock!

Okay, so you can ask the CMS for a variation on the maintenance calculation.

This is specifically for situations where:

• The paying parent has additional income not shown in HMRC records

You can argue:

• He has unearned income / property income
• His lifestyle doesn’t match declared income

ChatGPT says: What actually works best

A clear, structured statement like:

• He owns/rents a property with X bedrooms
• I believe he rents rooms to lodgers
• Reasons: (ads seen / statements / observations)
• Estimated rent per room (if known)
• Request: variation due to additional income

👉 This is often enough to trigger a review

The CMS will then do their own investigation.

Good luck!

No doubt you do the same with the children’s child benefit!

If you really don’t need it enough to be able to cancel it why not save it all up for your dc? I’m sure they’d appreciate it in a lump sum that’s a lot of money.
Or even just spend it on your dc, better they have it than him.

Don’t be ridiculous, it all goes into the same pot. She is providing EVERYTHING for the children, she doesn’t have to save it ffs

Ok, so your 2 kids get £9.5k a year
Or your 3 kids get £6.3k a year
Or your 10 kids get £1.9k a year

Whatever, so they go on fewer long haul holidays a year when they're retired, but they'll have more options than they would have had if you burn the money in his face just so you can feel good because you don't want this pathetic excuse for a man and father to feel worthwhile.

You have a choice to do something clever and stick two fingers up at him. He failed at being a dad. He's failing at providing for his children now. But your kids will win in the end if you're clever

What a silly comment from a silly person. Just so like you feel like you are winning, Ms Saver.
Put it in a savings account, while she is expected to feed them, clothe them, provide shelter and everything else. Its money for their upkeep. £7 a week.

wtf. How can that happen

its income

Its £364 per year

Most people get more than that a month through child maintenance?

I don’t know how £300 a year is seen as a decent amount, I read mums on here getting £500 a month being told it’s not enough to raise a child

My sons school lunches cost me double that a year.

I don't think anyone is disagreeing with you that it's a pathetic amount. But canceling the claim is not the right solution

Maybe im reading it wrong but I’ve definitely seen a few comments trying to imply it’s more than what it is.

I would keep taking it because it’ll be an annoyance to ex. Also, it will add up just set up a regular saver so it’s completely dc money and you don’t have to think of it as toxic funds in your account.

No one can genuinely argue it’s even close to being a decent amount but deciding not to take it is cutting off your own nose to spite your face. I will never understand how a parent can walk away from their own dc. Thankfully they have you. I understand why it’s galling but don’t give him the headspace, he’s a worthless human so eye roll and take the money from the fuckwomble.

That would annoy me anyway, because then id feel like my ex was paying for our day out, or my ex was paying for our holiday. I know that's not true, but it's how it would feel. I prob would cancel it, because id feel the same as you. Whether that's the right thing to do or not, I dont know

Thats how I feel but most people don’t understand it it’s hard to explain.

But if you got £300 a month wouldn't you think he was paying for your days out too??

Not really as it would go on things the kids need rather than a day out but £7 a week doesnt really pay for much

Start saving it OP. Take the £7 and put it in a separate pot. That’s £28 per month and £364 for the year. Use £350 for a nice night away with the kids, tickets to Cadbury’s world or something and you still have £14 left over for yourself!

I know it’s a shit amount but lemonade with lemons hey?

Don't cancel it. It means he isn't benefitting from it so I would carry it on. If you stop, he may miraculously get a job, and then you aren't benefiting at all. Nah, keep it going

He won’t get a job, he hasn’t worked in nearly a decade so i think he would struggle to find employment

It’s pathetic. I got the same from my ex before he stopped even bothering with that.

It is laughable and this was brought home to me when, on a rare trip to the pub at lunchtime six years ago, I bought a colleague a drink and the drink was £7. I was left thinking this is what I get for two kids each week.

My ex should write a book on economising.

His talents know no bounds. The government update me every year. He is now apparently living on thin air, while I work a full time job and pay all the children’s expenses myself.