AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

Any adults should have some food in cupboards etc to make pre-planned meals, eg pasta, beans on toast, jollof rice, etc… it’s really not difficult.

I’d like one ticket to the “imagine if a man came into the house and said this show” please.

”Bedtime by myself” Jfc. It’s one kid. Divide and conquer and stop making an issue where there isn’t one.

YANBU at all
He has been working but free evenings to himself for the time u were away
Utterly selfish
I came home from 3 days in hospital when my dad passed away. No sleep. Zortsed. Emotionally drained
2 teens and Dh at home. Barely any food for tea. I rustled sometthing up out of nothing
Next morning I got up and walked dog - not a drop of milk for the cuppa I used to take around the park
He's now my exDH
At my absolute lowest point he couldn't even get milk in or make diner for me and kids
Bye

I think the word staycation muddied the thread - it just doesn't sound as being 3 hours drive away - and if you were staying really at home/close, it would have been a different matter.

YANBU to expect him to have one valid dinner option at home.

At my home it would be stuff for omelettes and pasta pesto, but it doesn't really matter what it is, it just needs to exist.

This is exactly it! Don’t get frustrated with him because he won’t understand what he’s done wrong and it will just cause an argument that you’re too tired to have! Unfortunately , he’s one of those men - I have one too! Do calmly say something though!

If I wanted to make sure we had dinner stuff in for when I got back I would have meal planned & done an online order a few nights ago (when toddler was in bed), for delivery today & informed parter it was coming so please accept it & put away. If I didn’t take the time to do it I wouldn’t assume anyone would do it for me.

It was probably all going really well until a tiger knocked on the door and asked if it could have tea with him. Before your DH could blink, the tiger had eaten all the food, finished all the beer and drunk all the water in the house. I hope you all went out to a cafe and your child got to wear pyjamas with an anorak on top.

I’m so glad someone else noticed that!

Has he been binging? 😐

HNRTFT but OP I went to Tenerife about 25years ago and left dad in charge! He is generally quite useless but he actually used his common sense and the children survived !

I know how you feel OP and YANBU. I had this a few times when I took my toddlers and babies on a trip 5 hours away to visit my father for a few days.... home to messy house and no food.
I talked to DH, had strong words really and then the next few times i texted him the night before to remind him to get milk, bread (he doesn't use either of these) and something easy for dinner. Now he just does it himself. Yes, I shouldn't have had to text at all but it worked.

Going away with small children is tiring, no matter how much fun and how much you love them, and you definitely expect some down time from partner when you get home.

I was thinking this… We don’t do a big shop & always have a fully stocked kitchen. We buy food when it runs out. Whenever it runs out…

Yes this, you were on holiday

He got time off the family, a few evenings to himself. He was at home and he went to the shop for his own lunch just a few hours earlier. Is it really too much to expect him to get in enough basics for one dinner he would participate in eating and maybe cooking? He was the one who knew what is in the fridge and what isn't.

Do you not have a phone, would you not communicate during the day?

I get it woman on holidays man to blame, man on holidays man to blame

Yes, very odd. It's called "the end of the week" before the weekly shop arrives in our house.

I'd order a Deliveroo - take away and small grocery shop and have a g&t while he does bedtime. If he hasn't drank all the gin while I'm away.

What?

I wouldn't say that a solo care of a three years old is especially relaxing holiday. If the father was taking a three years old away and mother stayed at home, I'd absolutely expect her to have enough food for a simple dinner at home.

He a grown man, with a house, a wife and a child. He really shouldn’t need to be sent a message to be told to get some basic food in the house. Such an ick.

ive always done all the food shopping and all the cooking and now I think what on earth have I been doing? I had a horrific breakdwon nine years ago and never recovered and it nearly killed me

Fab 😁

Jeezus, what's the point in having a partner?

Christ, the bar is low for expectations of men who are husbands and fathers. I despair. 😵‍💫

Would have been easily avoided by one of them sending a message to the other saying what do you want for tea etc. Neither thought to check so both equally to blame

Why ever would you expect a man to think of anyone but himself?