AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

These comments are ridiculous - going on about this poor DH who hasn't had a holiday. Having a 3 yo is tough - taking a 3yo away as a solo parent for a week is hard work.I am sure it was fun and rewarding but also very hard work. The poor DH got to stay home with no parenting duties.

I am 100% with you OP. Your DH has had far fewer responsibilities than usual this week. He could have sorted dinner.

How was she supposed to know he hadn't done a food shop for his wife and child who had been away, while he was at home?

Yes, it's really not much to ask, is it? I genuinely don't know why the bar is so low for men, as pp have said.

She wasn’t - that’s why the reasonable thing would have been to discuss it earlier if going out and getting something in the evening was an issue

So.... he's at home, buying food for himself... but can't buy anything else in readiness for his wife and child returning home?
Ok.

Seriously though, why? They have lives the same way we do, dependents, shit that needs to happen. Why are we still giving men such a free ride on this shit? This is why life has got so,shit for women - we are expected to have a job and earn the same but an awful lot of men don’t see themselves as in any way responsible for family life.

Funny how blokes manage to nab the majority of jobs as CEOs, MPs, and Chairs of Boards in the UK, though.

Are they just not very good at them, do you think? Must be that they do the bare minimum, and need their wives to text them lists.

Yes, that's extraordinary, isn't it? If only this man knew that his wife and small child would return home from holiday and be in need of a meal of some sort. That's quite the cognitive stretch.

I’m amazed at the situations that people get worked up about! Just get a takeaway or pop to the shop.

God it never fails.

Exactly. They're a 'bit crap' in part because women kept fucking pandering to it.

Just working as usual is a holiday for parents of toddlers. She’s been caring for the toddler as usual and he’s had significantly less on his plate than usual.

Get takeaway . Or you could have asked him to get something before you came home or you could have brought something back. It’s not a bug deal. You are unreasonable.

You've just been on holiday, though, so not you as you clearly have disposable income to be doing that in the first place?

Surely it’s about the husband’s lack of thought for his wife? You’d have to be pretty selfish and inconsiderate not to have some provisions in for her return and a meal planned. I’d be disappointed if I got that sort of treatment from my husband!

what can yyou learn from this? Always have some provisions tucked away that won’t go off (long life milk E.G or leave a shopping list and ask that consumed food is replaced as you need to plan ahead) or set some rules )

The information that the OP had been away from home and was returning with a poorly toddler was in the first post!

@Newboymum2023 Yep he's a bit of an arse for not bothering to make sure there was still food in the house when you returned! Lazy and inconsiderate.

...set some rules? For an adult, who is a husband and father?

Yes, totally OP's fault dh is inconsidetate. 🙄

OP has been looking after their child all week because SHE decided to go away for a few days with their child. OP says they have a cough/sore throat not exactly debilitating

YANBU OP. It’s not like you were off on a fun grown up holiday and having a tantrum to come home to an empty fridge.

It sounds like your DH had ample opportunity to sort out food for dinner, he was even at the supermarket earlier FFS. If my DH had been working from home all day, and knew that I was travelling home with an under the weather 3 year old, I’d come home to dinner being cooked. And milk in the fridge (even though mine doesn’t like milk either). It sounds like he just didn’t think about it tbh, maybe because you’re normally in charge of it. But I don’t think it’s ok.

Is OP being debilitated the only reason her dh should be thoughtful?

Some men are just like children and do better when they have instructions-or at least a list!

Some men just don't plan ahead. Was there not even a tin of beans and some eggs to have with the chips?

The least I would have expected was to have some basic shopping in and he would have sorted some tea. Not waiting for you to come home to do it like he's waiting for his mum to get in to do it. Was Tesco Whoosh not an option? Just to have some essentials delivered along with some ready meals.

I've been a single mum for years so used to sorting it myself when we've been away. I try and make sure we have some milk in that will still be in date when we get back. And that we have something in I can cook quick like baked potatoes with beans and cheese and some fish.

No, he’s a lazy, selfish, thoughtless idiot.