AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

She’s just told you there isn’t. Do you think she’s lying? Or are you lucky enough to not understand just how many people buy only what they need for the week and don’t have a cupboard full of the basics?

No, that’s really not what the problem is.

I would LOVE to see the responses if the thread was from a man not getting a meal on the table when he comes in through the door and finding a fridge empty even of milk after a week of his wife being at home sans child.

She’s just told us that someone helped her pay for her trip. What about that makes you think she’s got spare cash?

Well theres obviously bread in the house because she mentioned it too, afterwards.

No cheese, no bits of ham?

I work with people who have literally nothing and thats very very very unusual.

My issue is with the concept that a few scraps of food in the house is 'nothing'.

Its about people not really knowing or understanding how to put some food together out of what they do have, a few tins of this or that.

He could have done that but if this is someone who nips out for a meal deal for lunch rather than using the bread in the house, he cant have that skill either.

I would LOVE to see that too. Because of all the married and/or cohabiting men who post on MN, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of them post that they’d taken their young child away for a week to parent by themselves.

Didn't it come up in conversation.

Me or dh always check in with other if one of us is away to see if person at home needs to get food or going to eat on way home.

Same thing, you wouldnt see anything different. The person at home would be expected to make sure the house was running as normal.

YANBU if I'd been solo parenting while DP had the house to himself he'd have had dinner and a cuppa ready for me getting home.

He didn't think for a second that you'd need food for dinner while he was literally at the supermarket buying food for himself.

Do you really believe this @Jopo12 ? Interesting how men can be perfectly competent at absolutely anything when it suits them.

They must laugh their socks off at women who fall for the “oh they’re generally a bit crap” line. No. It’s pure selfishness and at the root of it, misogynistic ideas that domestic labour and ‘thinking about others’ is women’s work.

Wake up.

I've given up and expect my husband to finish the bread, the milk and everything he needs for a packed lunch and never consider where it comes from, let alone What's for dinner. However he will go to the shop.... I just need to write him a list! He has many positives though. This is the mental load. I have sons and have tried to make them think and they are much better. In fact this has made me think I need to take the younger one shopping and make some meals over Easter!
You need a chat about this, and say that in this situation your husband needs to take responsibility.

Because OP is ill and has been looking after THEIR child solo all week

Poor show, especially if ge was in Tesco today. Guess he's barely gives thought to yoi and your son. Out of sight...

A week of solo parenting a 3 year old doesn’t sound like much of a holiday…

Do any of you women on this site like men or have a good marriage? He forgot milk, leave the marriage. Such man haters.

I would have thought a working adult is IN their routine.

Why do we infantilise men so much?

Order a takeaway or make sure you have some things in for situations like this

• frozen pizzas
• pasta and jars of sauce
• frozen fish, frozen veg and chips

Neither of you are in the right or wrong, I don’t think you can be annoyed at him

Agree with you, staycation means staying at home but acting like you are on holiday, this sounds like a holiday

Si now you have another child that needs parenting,op

How attractive

Sorry …have I got this right? you’ve been on holiday and you’re annoyed he hasn’t done shopping and chores whilst he was working? You’re moaning about a three hour drive with a child (presumably to a location you chose.?)

really?

Is this a reverse?

He's been running the home, working from home.

Why wouldnt you expect that home to be run?

Why can't she be annoyed at him?

Of course she can but doesn’t mean it’s justified. If she wanted him to get something in she should have raised it, how was he supposed to know she wasn’t stopping on route and getting something /eating before they got back.

Not sure why people are telling you to cut him some slack. Working from home and having the house to yourself is way easier than entertaining a toddler who's just dropped a nap and isnt feelinf great, in a different location on your own! I don't think it's a hugely high expectation that he could have got some simple food in for you, if he's been to the shops anyway

This ⬆️

And most people manage to do shopping and chores while working full time, especially if they are getting out of all childcare duties for a week.