AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

Yes, low bar indeed.

I probably would have bought something back with me for us all like fish and chips or something 🤷🏻‍♀️

Feeling ill, with an ill toddler and a 3 hour drive?
Maybe the DH could have done that. Perhaps.

Not in my world they’re not.

Who are these women that marry such useless men-children? How can it not give you the total ick? 🙄

Awful, isn't it? Why would any woman waste her time with a man child?

You’re obviously just better than him. What can I say? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d be expecting a medal and a sit down if I’d just take a 3 year old on holiday on my own!

Well OP didnt answer when I asked what he thought he was having for dinner, did he think he was just going to get a takeaway

I can't fathom relationships where no one seems to talk about upcoming meals in advance. DP and I have just discussed what we're going to eat tonight, tomorrow and through next week. We both know who will get which ingredients and when, and when we're going to cook together given our jigsaw schedules this week. Neither of us assume the other person will sort it all out. And we don't even have kids to think about.

If I was the OP's husband I would have messaged her asking if she wanted me to sort dinner or if she was bringing something back, and then acted on the reply. If I was the OP I would have messaged him asking him to sort dinner rather than assuming anything. Lack of communication from both leads to no dinner.

I think it was autocorrected from milk and bits [and pieces], but I did need a second glance.

Ah did not read that bit. If my DH knew I was ill and toddler was ill before arriving back then yes he probably would whip something up or nip out himself quickly…or if i was not ill i would probably tell him that we were like half an hour away and brining food. Communication is key.

Communication, yes. Initiative would be nice as well.

Yes, most men lack it unfortunately

My husband is not great in the kitchen or with domestic chores, HOWEVER I am in the position where I LOVE and more than capable of being in charge of the home. He works 7 days a week long long long hours, so I would never expect him to cook the meals as well when he gets in from a long long day. But this works for us both, if I were ever unwell or unavailable he would be able to take over and cook if needed, kids washed and in bed etc. But I would need yo let him know that a simple phone call “can you come home early and sort things I need to gwt to bed” does not mean he is a man child, he has his jobs to take care of us and I have my jobs to take care of us. Im sure if OP had communicated she woukd not assume that DH had it covered and DH would not have assumed that she had it sorted.

Most don’t seem to lack it when it’s important to them and/or it deals with work.

Gosh no, I meant neither of them have had a week off!! That's not at all what I meant!!

Did he think at all? Doesn't sound like it!

I think its a bit pathetic and thoughtless of him. He owed you a takeaway - even if family funds are low, see this as an extension of the holiday.

Mens brains are wired differently

Is that sarcasm?

no, they are wired differently 🤷🏻‍♀️ a woman will see a surface with crumbs and immediately associates it with a required action, it does not trigger the same response in a man

You posted at 5:30. Surely he could have popped to the shop right then and you wouldn't be doing bedtime alone. Sounds like a storm in a teacup.

I know if my partner lived on his own, this mythical 'oh he would have to do it himself' wouldnt happen

Those crumbs wouldnt be wiped up, the spillage on the work top wouldnt be wiped up. The windows wouldnt be cleaned or arrnagements made for the window cleaner. Bathroom wouldnt be cleaned.

Hoover would gather dust (Tim Vine joke there).