AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

Oh no 😱!! How awful for him! Will no-one think of the men!

Well 'staycation' could mean almost anything couldn't it?

I would say I'm quite surprised by his lack of consideration, which is why it's probably upset me more than it would if he was a useless, inconsiderate twat all of the time!!!
And the fact that both our son and I are pretty under the weather.
And as someone else alluded to, the fact he didn't come on this holiday (apparently a vacation in your home country isn't called a staycation.... my mistake) is not at all indicative of our marriage. He had taken some time off over Christmas and then unfortunately had a family matter that he had to deal with which required him to take a significant amount of his annual leave.

😂😂

A holiday with a 3 year old? I’d rather be at work with no childcare duties.

They’ve been away on holiday, not a mile down the road. You didn’t read the OP properly, as so often happens on here, asked a pointless question then got defensive when OP responded. Just own it and move on.

This is just lack of communication. Op could have rung her dh on her way home and asked if there was anything in for dinner or whether she needed to call at the shop.

I did actually. But thanks for the advice. You chose the right username!

Is he 'generally' a thoughtless twat and is this 'in the context of being a shit marriage'?

You've deduced this because he didnt go shopping?

Which would be a huge irritant and as others have set out, virtually a criminal offence in my book not to have milk in, but is that evidence of a 'shit marriage' and him being 'generally a thoughtless twat'?

Perhaps, anticipating the return of his wife and child, and only working 4 days a week, he could have used initiative and done a shop?

Well you probably wouldn't be in the OP's position would you since your husband is such a paragon? As someone who does 100% of the cooking, he would undoubtedly have had a delicious three course meal ready for you or at least the ingredients to rustle something up. I'm not surprised that you would have felt 'chilled', as there would have been nothing for you get upset about!

But surely your ACTUAL DH would know your preference and get milk if that was required?! Or coffee, or gin…

Nope, it's (generally) their choice to be that way so that their partners don't expect them to do basic tasks. I took the kids to my Mums for the weekend a few weeks ago and when I came home my partner had prepared tea, cleaned the house done the laundry, got me my favourite drink and got the kids some treats. Obviously ensured there was milk in for the children etc. (Not his children in case that's relevant).

I would have done the same, as would any reasonable adult who cares about someone they love. Even when my mum goes on holiday I pop round the day before she's back and ensure she's got the basics in.

You'd think... again, low bar...

Yes. You sound like functioning adults, like most of us. Unfortunately, not some of the men on these all too frequent threads!

Can’t lie, I’d be pissed off. He’s been in the supermarket 3 times in your 3 days away and never thought ‘Hang out, I need to feed my wife and child who’s been sick when they get back’? Bit crap, frankly.

Yes he would, no low bar here. My irritation was merely at the ‘milk is the bare minimum’ comment, because to be honest it just pisses me off that there’s an assumption that everyone in the country must drink milky tea 🤷🏻‍♀️.

She shouldn't have to thought, if he's a functioning adult who can hold down a job and feed himself, surely he can manage to ensure there's food at home. Even a pizza/pasta and sauce/omelette etc?

There are some really batshit responses on this thread! Especially the suggestion that OP’s DH has been bingeing on all the food to explain why there is none left 😂.

Do you not have anything in the cupboards OP? Surely the house can’t be completely empty of all food?

Sometimes when we are running really low before I go shopping I put what we have into chatGPT and ask for suggestions and it’s come up with a few things I wouldn’t have considered, if you have pasta then I had a few pasta suggestions.

I’m the opposite though and I make sure we always have a full freezer and decent amount of cupboard food, my DP is Persian and very concerned about the situation in Iran so we have more in then usual at the moment.

Get your DH to make something if you can come up with any suggestions, even spaghetti on its own with olive oil is lovely and I quite often have it with a sprinkle of chilli flakes and Parmesan.

There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

Never mind dinner, I'd go nuclear over him using the last of the milk and not replacing it!

Did your partner lose his hands while bravely saving some children in a killer whale attack? Does he have some tragic neurological disorder that makes him incapable of reading a recipe or operating a stove? Or is he just a bit shit?

I'm a bloke. I learned a very long time ago that even though I am in knowing possession of a penis it never actually stopped me from learning how to cook. It's not like you have to hold a chef's knife in your bra. There's a million recipes instantly available on the Internet that cater to all sorts of skill levels and the supermarkets are awash with pre-prepared meat, veg, garlic, herbs, sachets of seasonings, chopped tomatoes, jars of sauces, etc etc.

There's a whole lot of posts on mumsnet from women who are, in my opinion, being more than a bit unfair on their male partners for a whole host of reasons. Conversely, though, the apparent acceptance that a grown man can't think ahead and/or be capable of pre-preparing a basic meal for him and his family astonishes me.

You appear to be very judgemental based on your posts on this thread.

nothing I said was serious, I’m sorry you didn’t get that

Judgemental? In what way?