AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

Sure. Because a man being at home, knowing his wife and child were currently away but due to be back on a certain date, would definitely need reminding that said wife and child have the basic animal requirement of eating several times a day.

Considering her dh has been to the shops x3 that week they are hardly on the breadline

op didn’t want to go to the shops. Equally she didn’t want dh to go and her have toddler

so solution a takeaway

yes obv dh should have make sure had basics in if he went to the shop frequently this week

Me too this would be it for me!!

Depends when pay day is

I get paid weekly

my friend gets paid 19th of each month

not all are at end of month

tho obv seems op can’t afford a takeaway but also doesn’t want sausage and waffles

I honestly cannot imagine being in the shop getting my lunch because there’s no food in the house and not thinking “hey, that means there’s nothing for tea either”.

OP, only you know if this is an unusual level of lack of thought from your husband. Even if at that point he’d given you a call/text to see if you wanted anything specific / were planning to get something on your way / had had a huge lunch with 3yo en route or whatever.

I expect he’s looking forward to doing bedtime after not seeing his child for 4 days so maybe you should pop to the shops and choose your favourite foods…

So @Newboymum2023 what are you having for tea then 😀

Yes and Id probably be more pissed off at him buying 'meal deals' which is what I assume he' done in Tesco rather than buying proper food to feed himself with.

But as I say, I wouldnt be going to the shops, I'd just eat what was in the house, because I dont believe there was literally nothing.

YABU to call your break a Staycation though.

Clearly not being unreasonable - just "misused" a term which apparently has pissed people off!
Even though several well known holiday companies including Centre Parcs and Butlins refer to their holidays as staycations....

I think the point is, have something to eat, have a chat, reconnect, have some sleep, and decide in the morning how you want to approach the problem.

He's been working, and you've been minding the toddler. I totally get why you're annoyed, but maybe he just decided to have a slobby week as a poor substitute for being with you two?

Time apart can make the relationship a bit more difficult in the short term. I'd reconnect with him tonight and see how it looks in the morning.

They should be shot!!

Seriously? Between the fridge, the freezer and store cupboard, there’s nothing to muster up even something simple for the three of you???

Yes, it was a bit inconsiderate of him. I've been guilty of doing the same as your DH, and have been apologetic over it. My DH is a little more dinner-orientated than I am, and would never let me come home to empty cupboards.

It is interesting that people are different in whether they keep some easy long-life food in for "emergencies" like this. I always do, because I am lazy and wouldn't want to have to inconvenience myself if things don't go to plan. Tin of baked beans, pasta, soup. We always have something on hand. But I know that others don't like to do that.

The store cupboard is such a lovely phrase. Reminds me of the Brambley hedge series!

Would never have happened if OP had been the one at home. How thoughtless of her husband, and what a horrible welcome home! He should at least have had the basics in, if not a nice meal waiting.

She says staycation. Did she actually go away? Or was she off work and at home? It sounded as if she and ds were away but I thought staycation meant not going away.

I think if you are off work, it's up to you to get something. If you gave been away, I get you are probably a bit annoyed at having to organise something but I would not be p off with dh.

I’d be fuming. He’s had all his evenings and a full day free to chill, to go out for drinks with friends, do hobbies, go to the gym etc whilst you’ve been on 24 hours childcare. I remember the toddler stages and the person who wasn’t on childcare duty did the shopping, cooking etc.

Even if he’d completely forgotten about you, which is bad enough, I’d be raising an eyebrow at the fact that it didn’t occur to him that his child would probably be feeling a bit peckish at dinner time and would need feeding.

He’s been crap and he’s let you down. If it’s a one off, then I’d tell him he’s a twat and then either send him off to do bath time or go to the shop to get something to go with the chips, whichever you didn’t want to do. If it’s just a long line of thoughtless behaviour, then you need to decide how long you’re willing to put up with him just not being good enough.

Also, some of you need to pop those bubbles you’re living in and realise that millions of people don’t have a pantry full of staples and a spare freezer packed full of home cooked meals that you’ve lovingly batch cooked, and if someone has helped the OP to pay for a few days away with her child, then there probably isn’t the money for takeaway the week before payday.

I suspect most people do actually, I work with very poor families and even then its quite unusual to open cupboards and fridges to find literally nothing

But I bet what happens is what happens when my OH opens the cupboard. There are countless tins of soup, packets of noodles, tins of varieties of beans, ready made lentils/grains in packets, packets of rice. Then there are 'my' ingredients which is olives, bags of lentils, bags of rice, bags of other grains, pestos galore, sauces, tuna, sardines, anchovies, curry mixes. Freezer is groaning with batch cooking but even without that we've got some cheese bites, deli samosas which I froze (must eat those actually), then he has tons of actual junk food

What will he say? Oh theres nothing to eat.

Yanbu to be disappointed there is no food in, YABU as you could easily get take away. My dh lives on beer, chips and choc ices if I’m away 😂

The ONLY bit of parenting he had to do this week was get food in (especially milk) for HIS CHILD.

Most of us are working parents, but we all ensure we have food and medicine in the house for our poorly kids.

He’s been to the supermarket, and a decent parent would have thought about the needs of his child, but he didn’t, because he obviously thinks OP is the default parent and he only has to think about himself 🙄

But you can afford to go away for a week?

I wouldnt expect people to have cupboards 'full' or freezers of batch cooking, but I dont believe there isnt a tin of beans, tin of toms, potatoes languishing at the bottom of the fridge, tins of tuna or a couple of bits of chicken in the freezer

Stuff like that

Most people turn their noses up at simple food these days, thats the problem.

She’s already said that she has some chips and maybe some peas, but nothing to go with it. Do you think she’s forgotten about the selection of pies, lasagnas and fish fingers she stashed behind the frozen peas for such an emergency?

She said the child was ill in the OP. And unless you think she was on holiday in the next town along, it's surely pretty obvious there would have been a car journey of some length.
YANU OP. You may have been 'on holiday', but id take 4 days WFH over going solo with a toddler all day long. He had by far the easy end of this week and should at the least have sorted food so you could rest this evening.