AIBU to expect some dinner in the house?

[Newboymum2023]

I've just got back from a Monday-Friday staycation with my DS 3yo. We've had a lovely time, but if you've ever been away with a toddler, you'll understand that's it's not exactly a relaxing holiday! It's been full on, no naps, later bedtimes than usual, on top of which he's been battling a cough/sore throat which I now have too. DH did not come with us as he didn't have enough annual leave at work. For context, DH works from home, 4 days a week (has one day off). He finishes at 6pm.
Anyway, I've got home and he's asked what I want for dinner to which I replied "what have we got". Well. Turns out we've got nothing (to make an actual meal, anyway). So now I either have to do bedtime on my own whilst he goes to the shop or vice versa. AIBU to expect him to have at least picked something easy up whilst I've been away? I know he's been to the supermarket at least 3 times to get food for himself. There's not even any milk in the fridge for a cuppa.

YANBU, OP.

The fact that a grown man, who has only had to look after himself this week, can’t have some food in for his wife is ridiculous.

The week off? With a 3 year old? You must be having a laugh

Give me work anytime

Takeaway!

Well you might not but I think the vast majority of us would want a relaxing, reviving cup of something after a long journey and the vast majority of us take milk!

He just sounds lazy to me. I don’t eat meat but I still buy it for others in the household when I go shopping. Totally inconsiderate. The question is - what are you going to do about it? Will you raise the bar and tell him you expect more? Or put up with this and worse for the rest of your relationship? It’s hardly crime of the century but it’s just so uncaring and unkind. I wouldn’t like that.

Oh yes, owning a penis renders you unable to think you might need food at some point in the day.

I wonder how he holds down a job?!

When my dh goes away with our dc, I forget to get food in, too. 😫 He does do the food shopping every week though, so it's not my normal chore.

Im just trying to get my head around literally nothing which is why Im wondering what the definition of 'nothing' is

Like a poster above who says she has nothing in for tea, but actually does have waffles and sausages in

So there is food in the house but nothing fanciable, thats slightly different I suppose

I certainlyl wouldnt reach for a takeway, I would rather have waffles and sausages! And I dont even like waffles and sausages!

I tend to be able to put together a nice meal/dinner from very little

So soup, or beans on toast or omelette I would consider a dinner, particularly when tired and something light is needed.

But what did he expect to eat tonight?

I'd not be happy either.

Well said FunSize! The bar on this thread is lower than the saggiest of ball sacks 🤣🤣🤣

And if I did have some eggs, beans, toast, chips, some peas. I would knock that up rather than spend precious time when tired to go out to shopping.

That can wait until tomorrow.

No frozen meals in the freezer? Or noodles/soup/tins of chopped tomatoes and pasta/pesto/cheese?

If it is his task or not is irrelevant tbh. He eats, he has a wife and child and he knew they were due back. Thoughtfulness goes a long way towards happy marriages.

You have a freezer. It must be empty.
Just get Tesco to do a Whoosh order. Or Deliveroo.
If food shopping and groceries are normally your shout then unless you organise for post trip or ask him to get something in he will assume you have it covered.

One of you go to the shop. I’m not sure why doing bedtime solo is an issue?

WTF is this response?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it’s probably normal for food to run low if nobody has done a shop, yes.

My DH would have immediately produced the takeaway menus if caught out like that

How appallingly patronising to both women and men. It's not difficult to remember that your partner and child(ren) would be coming back on a certain date and to ensure that there's food in the fridge, cupboard and/or freezer for them when they do.

Unless this man has got the kind of job where he's unexpectedly required to do mountains of overtime without notice then I refuse to believe it's beyond his capabilities to run to the shops on Thursday after work to make sure there's enough in to last until the next big shop. If he was working from home with the typical 9-5:30 then he could have easily gone to the shops for fresh food and had the time to batch-cook some ragu, chilli, stew or something. Even those of us blighted with a Y-chromosome should be capable of that basic level of existence.

This made me laugh a lot!

That’s what freezers are for.

the bar for #adulting is set pretty punishingly low if you expect the adult who has sole parented a toddler for a week away to stop at a supermarket on the way home rather than that the adult with a week of no parenting responsibilities who was in a supermarket to pick up his own lunch to ensure there were some supplies including milk for tea, even if he doesn’t actually take milk in his own tea.

goodness, I get quite cross even thinking about the people who expect a woman to do so.much.more than a man.

You are not unreasonable OP it’s totally pathetic and I would be disappointed too. It’s crap when you look after everyone all the time that your partner can’t think of you for once (been there).

I don’t know if my partner is genuinely incapable or just pretends, but there would be no batched stew/ragu or anything like that. He’s never cooked anything like that in his whole entire life.

he would, however, have got in some breaded chicken, or pizzas, or ready meals, and there would definitely have been milk.

As you'll see from the thread everyone is different.

Many have said they wouldn't run completely out of dinners in the few days the OP was gone.

And of course some would 🤷‍♂️