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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel embarrassed about being frugal?

202 replies

MissJ67 · 07/03/2026 14:41

After reading a recent thread where people talked about their most extravagant indulgences, I read through and realised and pretty much couldn't afford any of them.
I thought I was extravagant buying sourdough bread and premium sausages!

It's partly through choice, partly not. I earn £34,500 for 41 hours work per week which I know is not great really for a 35 year old. I am applying for roles around 38k+ but sadly it is very competitive, I'm applying up to 40 miles away to give myself further opportunities.

I am renting out/doing up a flat until I can sell it which has also battered me a little financially. Majority of my clothes are from charity shops/Primark. I don't have a gym membership, I bought some weights for £20 and I do home workouts or running.
I get an eyebrow wax once a month, hair cut every couple of months (it's a bob so needs more trims) not at high end salons. I do my own hair colour, nails etc.

My budget for travel/trips each year is probably around £700/800. If I had more money, I would travel in first class on the train and plane because I am sick of overcrowded, noisy public transport full of inconsiderate people. I would probably get my teeth professionally whitened, travel more and work less.

I wouldn't say I'm tight/stingy but they're commonly confused with frugality. I just can't afford it, I have to stick to a budget, I rarely splurge, I don't have any savings. Last month I got a random £167 council tax bill despite them giving me a refund for it the month prior, then a sudden tax change with 3 days notice and a £280 hmrc deduction from wages. That £450 I've lost is 20% of my salary and the cost of my mortgage, I feel like im always being battered by things like this. Anyone else? If I had money I'd probably still live relatively modestly, but I feel embarrassed and don't want people to think I'm cheap and tight.

OP posts:
Dullducky · 10/03/2026 21:00

I think you are doing fine, you earn a decent wage, you own a property, yes you would like a few extra luxury things but hopefully this will come for you. Just keep doing what you are doing and don't compare to others who seem to be doing better as you really don't know if they are.

Worriedreparents · 11/03/2026 00:43

I can remember my mum always used to compare herself to a neighbour who had fab clothes, flash car and holidays. I used to say she might just be in a load of debt and sure enough she was, was evident when the bailiffs turned up and took the lot. Frugal is good

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