Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

This is awful OP. It must be very painful for you. This is a nasty person's attempt to stop you having closure when she dies. Rise above it and live your best life. I wish you all the best.

She's just trying to mess with you. It's all about trying to have some control when really she has none. Nothing to be confused about

The 48 hour delay is nothing. Your mother is trying to spin some kind of unsubstantiated mystery to worry you. As you are NC and are not in the will her death cannot have any practical repercussions for you. In fact I would tell your charming brother to not bother telling you at all when the old witch drags her bones down to hell, you simply won’t care.

No. That's just her last chance to be vindictive. I would engage with none of this either through your brother or anyone else. Sounds utterly nasty.

I would just reply to every text, ‘thanks for letting me know’. Don’t show any emotion, don’t agree with anything, just say thanks for informing me. They are doing this to wind you up and if you bite it will give them even more satisfaction. What she’s asking is not enforceable, don’t rise to it or let them know this has bothered you in any way.

You absolutely won't. And you obviously have proof of estrangement.

I would definitely say I don’t want to be informed at all. Keep well clear, don’t get drawn into discussion, don’t let them manipulate you.

I’m not sure I’d be wanting to maintain contact with the brother either after that tbh.

She’s just being mean. Tell her that you’re not interested and that you don’t want to be informed at all. Do not feel guilty. She’s manipulating you.

Tbh I would drop any contact with my b if I was you.
You don't have to pay for any thing, funeral expenses, house cleaance absolutely nothing, zero, zitch.
Let the toxic trio get on with it. Does it matter to you when death occurs if she was so awful? The toxic duo can sort things out and take the costs for everything out of the estate, any outstanding bills will need to paid from the estate. You are NOT liable for those either. Don't let them bully you into thinking otherwise.
H was no contact with several of his twat family and they prevented him phoning his mum by blocking in coming calls. She died and we only found out by accident it was several weeks before and a simple cremation had been carried out. Bastards.
Still life is happier without the crap sibs and bil in it.

I was wondering this, also. I also have no idea if you can refuse and inheritance.

Have someone else call them and let them know you will be bringing a truck and movers to take all of your property from the house now. Tell them its everything in the house, apparently. Then they will order you not to touch anything.

Nope. She's just being awful.

Money for clearing the house will have to come out of the estate.

Obviously if you have your own stuff at her place, either get it or give permission for her to dispose of it now.

Tell them to whistle for it if they come demanding money after her death.

No way would I thank anyone treating me so badly. The rubbish is taking itself out. I for one, do not talk to rubbish.

I am so sorry your awful mother is still trying to hurt and control you.

Ignore her and tell your brother you don’t wish to receive any more messages from her.

The estate will pay for everything via the executors.

Get a sound track ready to play down the phone when you get the call “thank god the witch is dead” then wash your hands of the lot of it . Sounds like it will be a relief , coz this isn’t how a parent should be with their offspring.

The skip should be paid out of the inheritance tell them to fuck off.

Of course they can’t charge you! If your sister doesn’t want to do it, she can pay a house clearance firm.

If they do actually have the nerve to try to charge you, personally I’d tell them to go and fuck themselves with the rough end of a pineapple.

Your brother shouldn’t have passed on that information. Poor decision on his part. Would ignore unless you really want any of your possessions that are at her house, in which case would seek ways to get the items.

The advice on this thread should reassure you @CannotActually , but, to me, it seems the whole purpose of this exercise by your family has been to cause distress to you, and sadly that has succeeded.

Once you have, had and more importantly, believe, the reassurance you need, would you go full NC with siblings too?,
It sounds like there is no positive aspect to any of your family relationships.
I cannot imagine you would want to go to the funeral and would not put it past your siblings to not tell you when or where it is to be held, so it seems to me that all you get from your family is stress and confusion. So is there any need to have any sort of contact?

Also, this old chestnut, have you considered counselling?

I hope you find peace and your personal life, away from this family toxicity, brings you joy. 💐
(Edited to add: @GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER also has excellent advice, and is much more succinct than me)

Also they cant charge you or hold you liable you don’t live at that address, if they fly tip it it’s not your responsibility. Let them crack on.

& when she dies wouldn’t agree to any unreasonable requests from the executor / your siblings: they can sort it out

This is motivated by your abusive mother's wish to manipulate and control you one last time.

Your brother is enabling her.

If you were left the house contents in the Will, you can refuse the inheritance.
You cannot be charged a clearance fee.

Unless you really want to maintain contact with your brother, I would block him and go NC with the whole family. Don't give your mother any more opportunity to cause you stress or upset through him.

💐

You don’t have to mean it. It will completely wind them up. They want the OP to be angry, to be annoyed. By being polite and saying thank you, it shows that the OP doesn’t give a crap about their stupid games.