Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

I think your mums just looking for a reaction from you. Don’t give her what she’s looking for - ignore them.

Honestly, don't engage with your brother about it

48 hour delay - 'ok then, no problem'

Billing you for a skip - 'that won't be happening and I don't wish to discuss further'

Anything else - 'no problem/that's nice/ok then

Do you live at your mums house then ?

Gowd OP I'm sorry to read this. There's plenty of awful behaviour that comes up on ms, but this is among the worst I've seen.

I'd advise 'D'B in writing that you have taken legal advice and know that you cannot be obliged to engage with the aftermath of your mother's death in any way. Then grey rock/NC. If he tries to moralise, remind him of what your mother put you through, then disengage.

It's a shame that your siblings can't find their spines either, but hey, ppl are fallible. I hope you're OK otherwise

Tell him exactly that...dont rise to it.

Is any of it your stuff? Then collect it NOW and put it in writing for them to list what is yours and you will make an arrangement to collect it immediately.

If its not your stuff then just write back saying that no belongings of yours are in the property so no removal of belongings is required.

No, because you can say you don't want ("disclaim") an inheritance. So if they said "all this is yours and you need to clear it" you just say "I don't want it, it's yours" and that's that. (It's a bit more complicated than that in that you'd need to do a deed of variation with a solicitor).

But in any event how do you think they would enforce it? As if a court would enforce some paltry house clearance fee on a family member.

Ignore all of this and get on with your life.

At a guess, the 48hrs is her nominal period to allow your siblings to get the certificate and potentially register the death. It’s not unknown in contentious situations for someone to have been poised ready to get involved and take control of funeral arrangements, cutting out the nearest and dearest. I think an adult child and his mum cut out the partner of many years, leaving her unable to go to the funeral as well as homeless and bereaved.

If you really want to continue with your current situation of "strained" contact with your brother, you tell him that you do not want to hear anything further from or about your mother. If he doesn't agree, block him. If he cares about you, he will not participate any longer in these psychological games. If he doesn't care about you, then why maintain the contact with him, just to be tortured further by these people? Life is short, you have every right to live it free from this spiteful stuff.

They sound even worse (and more stupid) than my family, and they're pretty bad.

They can't charge you for house clearance or any other costs your mother or her estate incurs. The 48 hour thing is nonsense.

I recommend you cut contact with your brother (and anyone else keen to tell you What Your Mother Has Said Now), it's all just manipulation designed to get a reaction. You don't need to cut contact in a dramatic way, you could just stop responding/block as needed. It is enormously liberating.

it’s not your house so not your responsibility to clear it and who cares if you are informed 48 hours later. I wouldn’t even reply to this nonsense, just let them get on with it.

I would totally ignore the nonsense about house clearance, but ask your brother to pass a message back to your mum saying a 48 hour delay in telling you she’s died is fine, in fact they could make 48 days as far as you’re concerned.

If you are not an executor and do not benefit in any way from the will, or inherit any items you are not liable for any costs to the estate.
I am assuming you have not left a load of stuff at her house?
They can swivel- it is just spite.
It would be like me sending you a bill for a skip to clear out my garage! Absolutely nothing to do with you

I can't see how it would be legal for anyone to specify that someone (who doesn't inherit) would be liable for clearing the house or paying for its clearance.

Absolute and total nonsense - your mothers estate is liable for the cost of clearance of any chattels that are not wanted by the beneficiaries.

A will or statement of intent like this cannot make another person liable.

The only case where you could be invoice by the executor is if you were storing your possessions at the address and did not remove them in a timely manner forcing disposal / storage costs.

She's just reminding you why you are best off without her in life. She's trying to get a reaction. She should be embarrassed that she thinks she can get you to pay towards house clearance.. That makes no sense, it's nothing to do with you. What a strange logic she has. Move on with your life and concentrate on things that make you happy and healthy relationships.

Just because the woman is related to you doesn't mean she can spend your money any more than I can spend your money and say its your items in a house so you need to pay.

A house clearance will need to have papers signed and its the people signing those papers that are in the contract - either in receipt of money or invoked for the removal.

I agree tell your brother to stop being the messenger, don't rise to the bait - as that is what it is.

If they come back with anything again, just give back an empty vibe, how do you feel about that? is that what your doing? and don't let them get under your skin with their hairbrain ideas

Can you be legally responsible for clearing old tat that is not yours- no. It would be down to the beneficiaries and/ or the executors of your Mum’s will. She’s trying to wind you up using any levers she has left. I’d just shrug and say “Interesting because that’s not what my solicitors say.”

I’d make it clear to your mum and any members of your family that you do not want to inherit anything but equally don’t intend to play any part in house clearing/ funeral planning etc.

@Lightuptheroom its incorrect to say that OP can attend the funeral. That will only happen in the instance a notice is placed in the local newspaper or the family pass on the information, which sounds unlikely in this case. There’s no publicly available information on a funeral, unless the family choose otherwise.

this is another level of evil and guess what....your mother has no idea what is coming for her in the afterlife

You don't need a deed of variation to disclaim this sort of inheritance - a simple letter to the executor will suffice, it then goes to the next eligible beneficiary.

Ask them if they mind if you sell all your mom's possessions. And keep the cash. That will likely change their minds.

She/they are trying to reel you back in, in some twisted way. Presumably so that she can excersise some level of control or get a reaction from you. I am so sorry that this crap is occupying any of your Saturday.

As others have said you don't have to have anything to do with any of them, you are not liable, what ever they claim and you can refuse any ridiculous attempts to manipulate you through the will by refusing inheritance.

If you can just park this nonsense, it's about them, not you. Protect your heart and your peace and ignore it all. You went NC for good reasons - just stick with that and give this not one more thought. You are free and independant - take pride in that! Sending strength.

My goodness - don’t see any emotional attachment to the money. I would want to squeeze every damn penny i possibly could from this awful woman’s death.

Oh and if you did do a house clearance make sure you are selectively thorough. Take all the light bulbs, door knobs, bog rolls. Anything that they might need. Leave any manky carpets (well they're nailed down, right?) and shredded curtains (for privacy).