Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

I was estranged from my mum before she died. Slightly different as she didn’t really have much to leave but all the costs from the estate have to be paid before people start getting their shares. So any clearance fees should be dealt with before DS and DB start divvying it up.
i do remember reading that as the eldest child and mum not having a spouse when she died legally i was next of kin and liable for things like the DWP. But there have been times in the past where I have refused to be next of kin.
It would be worth ringing yhe Sue Ryder helpline for bereavement and looking on the Cruse website for more info. I would just ignore them all but its worth looking up legalities just so you feel reassured or can get any legal advice before she dies.
The 48 hour thing is her way of punishing you unfortunately. Bizarre and cruel. Tbf I think all of this is just to get you upset and cause you stress.

Apologies if someone has already mentioned this OP, but are you sure DB (you can probably drop the D from that) isn’t stirring the pot?
Is it possible that he’s playing mind games and making sure you and your mum stay estranged?
Is it possible your mum said no such thing and he’s telling her porkies about what you’re saying as well?
Would it be worth writing her a letter stating that DB has told you this and clearly outlining your position?
All sounds very manipulative and strange to me.

This, absolutely brilliant.

Don't just be inert, fight back, cause them grief.
Even if you didn't want any money from the estate, you could accept and pass to charity. Which would infuriate them immensely.

Do you think the objective here is to cause you long term worry and stress through the worry of being asked for an unspecified amount of money at some point? Sounds as though you've already had enough stress in your life without their threats (as they are threats) hanging over you. So the objective here for you could be not to have to think about this any more. Why don't you get in touch with CAB https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/ and ask them how to nip this in the bud now to stop them bringing their threats up again.

Hi there

No you are not legally obliged unless you have power of attorney. This seems like a narcissistic power grab, and you don't have to respond. If they intend to "gift" you her things, you have a right to decline. Unless there is paperwork proving proof of ownership it cannot be enforced. Don't let them get to you, it's likely what they want.

Tell them that if they try and charge you for skip fees you will contest the Will. That'll shut them all up!

Brother is a ' flying monkey '

How they enforce anything? Call the police?

sue you?

If you get a bill, don’t pay it. They would be foolish to try and chase you through court

I would block and delete bro too

This is absolute nonsense and really spiteful.
On the death of your parent of course certain things need to be organised quickly ( eg a funeral director appointed and the deceased taken to the funeral home ) and there is a relatively short window of time to register the death .
But otherwise no , no reason why you can’t be told immediately .
Any items in your mothers house are not your concern and you wouldn’t need to pay for a house clearance .
Funds for that come from her estate

They can’t make you help and who are are they going to tell? Unless you live there is of no consequence

How awful! No, of course they can’t charge you to remove the stuff, even if it were yours. I mean you would simply refuse to pay the bill. You are not going to commission the house clearance or skip people, they will, therefore the bill will be in their name. Try and ignore them all! Awful

Agree .

Id say I don't want to j kw when she officially dies as she is already dead to me goodbye

What does NC mean. 🙄

NC means no contact. The joys of MN.

She sounds like she's even trying to control things post mortem. Forget it. This is their problem.

Hello. Your family sounds lovely.

I would match this vile and vindictive behaviour with the same energy. I would send mummy dearest a letter and send copies to your darling siblings. The letter would say something like this...

Dear.....

Regarding unwanted tat clearance costs when the old bat pops her clogs and proposed associated costs, or any proposed lawsuits.

Hahahahahahaha....( fill almost the whole page with this apart from the last couple of lines).

When the old codger finally kicks the bucket, you can stick any unwanted crap removal costs where the sun don't shine.

Give my regards to Beelzebub on your descent to the Earth's core, you owd bat.

For good measure I'd then consult with a solicitor to see if you can go complete no contact with all three of them.

I did have another thought about, once she's passed, clearing the house but just leaving the unwanted crap in the back garden, but honestly, on reflection, it seems like too much time and energy to spend on it.

You don't owe these grifters anything.

Good luck!

Why would you @Whitebonny12? That helps no one certainly not the OP who will help make her treatment look justified. I wouldn't dignify any of this crap from your mother with a response OP.

Don't put anything in writing which may be passed on to others and used against you would be my advice. You might find it helpful to write a letter you never send where you get things out of your system then destroy it. That can be cathartic.

I’m estranged from my family. they have declined to tell me of relatives passing but some other kind relative always calls me so I’m sure you will find out before the 48hr period.
I thought anything to do with the estate is paid for out of the estate? If you are not a beneficiary then how can you be penalised?

Maybe have a chat with a friendly solicitor?

Ive literally just made a will. One of the reasons being that if anything happens to me and my husband and kids any inheritance is passed down the maternal line and I’m Ducked if they are getting any of it!

big hug to you xx

My suggestion to the OP would be to forget all about this particular issue until after the caustic parent has popped off.

Tackle the toxic siblings afterwards, once the time comes. I suspect that the two siblings will start to fall out very soon afterwards anyway, since one is getting property and the other money. That is never going to work out equally, is it?

How awful and strange what people do to their family.
If there is still some of your stuff in her house you could ask to pick it up straight away and then it finished. Maybe even make the request in writing through a solicitor if such a thing is possible.

It’s all about control and your Mother is trying to controls events after she has gone. Sounds vindictive and desperate.
What is very sad is your brother is enabling her and repeating her nasty instructions.
Has he no empathy or compassion that you are being vilified?
Or not care because he will get something from her estate.
i mean why are communicating with your brother at all?
I know it is so easy to lead other people’s lives and there is usually more nuance to it.

i hope you have a happy life or have people around you that you love.
You had good advice on here.
Now do you believe us when Mumsnet says you are not liable for any house clearance?

I'm pretty sure you can't be made to. Regarding the 48 hour thing, I'd just be saying that they don't have to tell me at all and that I wasn't interested in knowing.

You as a non beneficiary of the will are not liable to any costs or to do anything.
Just ignore this
shit crazy designed to hurt you and it’s obviously worked so nasty that they’ve done this to you. I have sympathy.
my brother and mother forged my father signature on his will and changed it so that I was excluded. The advice I had was that I could have the will overturned et cetera et cetera. They also robbed me of loads of other stuff but ultimately my decision to walk away was about my own peace, manipulative, controlling abusive people just keep doing it if you keep feeling affected by it walk away choose peace
karma will sort them out