Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

Just respond with, "not interested" every time it's mentioned. I assume you aren't bothered about being told when she has died, so if you show disinterest, they will be stuck. The lack of response should sort it.

Why is your brother relaying these unkind messages to you? Im sorry for what youve suffered in your childhood and that your mother still continues to torment you.

You owe her nothing. Id set a clear boundary with your brother that you wont be subjected to threats. As others have said, house clearance costs come out of the residue of the estate. It’s nothing to do with you.

Your family sound cruel and ignorant. I hope you can find peace.

It sounds like she has put in the will that all the inconsequential crap in her house is yours. Because you will be bequeathed the crap it is up to you to remove the crap and if you don’t and your siblings have to bring in a house clearance, the bill will be yours.

I would nod along and say ok. Then when the time comes you can go to the house, see if there’s anything you do want ( mother likely lying when saying it all got thrown away years ago), take it ‘to the tip’…..

then change your mind about paying for the skip and walk away.

Go NC with brother- advantage is that you will know for sure

Even if she has done that, like people have said it is only if OP wants the crap. If she doesn't, it remains with the estate to deal with and has nothing to do with the OP at all.

I'm so sorry you are being harassed like this.

You could - if you really want to be mischievous - tell them that any child of the deceased has the right to challenge the will and claim their rightful inheritance. To be honest I don't know how far this would get you, but it might just rattle them.

No. The estate pays for any expenses and that includes removing crap and sending it to the OP.

When my husband died, apart from the cheques there were some sentimental items to be sent to his children and grandchild. As executor, I just paid for the carriage myself (and that wasn't cheap - one of the items was a musical instrument) but I could have taken the money from the estate.

@TommorrowsToday It is very expensive to contest a will. My Mother left everything to one child the other 5 of us were upset and annoyed or just shrugged shoulders depending on which one. I managed to dissuade them contesting. Her estate was worth about 200k. My friend and his brother were disinherited and they did fight and win but this was a 2 million quid estate. The solicitors fees to fight and they could have lost were 60k. Let that sink in.

People talk emotionally about inheritance but as long as witnessed correctly and the person is compos mentis then it’s all above board.

Just don’t respond at all.

She wants a reaction. Hurting you isn’t enough

just communicate with your db that (a) as far as you’re concerned M is already dead for you, so you’re not really interested in being informed of her actual death 48 hours or no 48 hours, and what he chooses to do with the information and when/if he shares it with you is totally within his control as M would already be dead… so wotchagunnado…
(b) you want nothing to do with her or any of her belongings, so you won’t be clearing anything ever, that you’re not obligated to do anything and very certainly WON’T be paying for any cleaning or clearance.

then just drop the rope, these people aren’t worth it.

She wants a reaction. Hurting you isn’t enough

just communicate with your db that (a) as far as you’re concerned M is already dead for you, so you’re not really interested in being informed of her actual death 48 hours or no 48 hours, and what he chooses to do with the information and when/if he shares it with you is totally within his control as M would already be dead… so wotchagunnado…
(b) you want nothing to do with her or any of her belongings, so you won’t be clearing anything ever, that you’re not obligated to do anything and very certainly WON’T be paying for any cleaning or clearance.

then just drop the rope, these people aren’t worth it.

If your siblings were decent, they could do a deed of variation after she dies and share your mother’s estate between you all.

They probably won’t though due to greed and “it’s what she wanted”

No, you can't be billed, it would come out of the estate and that isn't going to you. As for the 48 hours, id be very tempted to tell her never mind 48 hours, that you don't want to be notified at all.

They sound awful- you poor thing! This is all nasty power play. I’d honestly block all phone numbers associated with mum and the siblings. It seems like she is dead to you anyway.
Walk away completely and live happily ever after without them. Also this would massively piss them off by taking away their control of the narrative. Good luck.

I think it is time you protected your peace & distance yourself from all of them permanently.

Go NC with your brother. Write one final letter, telling him you do not wish to be told of your mother's death & you want nothing to do with her wishes for the house clearance.

Then block & delete them all (including anyone on the periphery who might involve themselves).

That way you have the ultimate control, the last say in this dreadful family and your peace restored.

Personally I would go NC with all of them and have nothing to do with them, your mother is being very mean and ridiculous but then again I don't know the backstory.

Either way no they can't force you to pay for anything so cut them off and move on with your life. Was your DB telling you as FYI and agrees that it's ridiculous or was he telling you with expectations that you have to do it?

Tell brother that as you are not a beneficiary you are not liable for costs and he needs not inform you of her death as yiu won't be attending her funeral

Record everything screenshot everything and keep a record of it all are you uk based ?

Yeah, this.

"No need to tell me when she dies. Not interested."

Tell your brother you have no interest in any of this and can he keep any messages from your mother to himself.
I think I’d be inclined to block the whole lot of them and get on with my life.

As others have already said on numerous occasions, she can decline the bequest.

Because it’s controlling, vindictive behaviour. In their warped minds it’s a final “that will show you that you’re not worthy of my death immediately.”

Best thing you can do is laugh and ignore

Why is your brother passing this nonsense on? Tell him you don’t want to know anything

Maybe message back 'Nice try!' followed by a string of laughing emojis and then block (all of them).

If you accepted a legacy it would belong for you and you'd be responsible for it, eg the house or whatever. But you can refuse to accept a legacy, then you won't be responsible. It's nonsense that you will have to pay to clear a house you don't own.

Or just let them waste their money on a pointless legal case.