Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

I’d send back a laughing emoji. Tell your brother that you don’t care if and when she dies. You won’t be helping with anything. If things need clearing she better get on and sort it before she croaks.

No. Your mother cannot dictate beyond the grave what you get charged for. She’s likely trying to stir up shit to manipulate you into contact.

They can't charge you for anything, instead, they must allow you access to obtain your stuff.

Go to citizens advice to draft the letter, either collect your stuff now or after she dies. - now might be better, take people with you to do this don't do it on your own. You could just let the local police know what's happening they won't turn up unless there's a disturbance, but at least they would have info from you should there be an issue.

Sending you a hug, you can't choose your family, your relationship with your family sounds toxic.

Nope - they can fukk right off and then FO some more.
Hugs OP - such a toxic set up...

Your brother sounds like a piece of work. Tell him there is no need to inform you of the death at all, since it will make no difference whatsoever to your life. Also, tell him to stop with the updates.

If you had left a pile of stuff at hers and she died, they cannot make you take it, the Executor would need to get it cleared and charge it to the money in the estate.

So tell your bother to say to Mum that she is welcome to continue with her plan, but whether it is yours or not (and confirm it is NOT), you are not required to take it and it would be up to the Executor to organise removal and charge it to the Estate and so all that will happen is that DB will get less cash to inherit.

Sounds to me like Mum is just trying to provoke a response over leaving you nothing and that only works if you are bothered.

Just reply, "Oh god is she still around, I thought she died years ago. I already had the celebration"

Then delete and block them all

They cant make you pay anything

This sounds narcissistic. They seem to be looking for a reaction. Don't respond or react. Why should you clean a house when they have treated you badly. They are trying to scare you into doing the dirty work. No contact is the best. Look on Quora about narcissist abuse.

I think...
If she wills you the contents of the house then it's your responsibility, but you could just ask a clearance firm to come. Anything valuable could be sold to cover the clearance fee. Note, you can refuse an inheritance.
If she wills it to someone else, it's their responsibility
If she doesn't will it to anyone, her estate is responsible for its removal.

What a horrible woman. Your siblings don’t seem much better either.
I’d throw it back in their court and say as I don’t intend to come to the funeral there’s no need to inform me of her death at all and that you already consider her dead to you.
That should take the skip out of your DMs step if she thinks you couldn’t care less. (no pun intended)

Even if you think you may attend the funeral, because nobody can stop you from going, at least they’ll have no foreknowledge and won’t be able to try and mislead you into thinking you can’t go since they won’t be inviting you.

No wonder you went n/c.
What a bunch of low lifes. You’re better off without any of them including your “go between” brother who seems to enjoy pushing the knife in even further.

No. Just because they have been bequeathed to you, you can refuse them and they return to the estate.

This is just more of the same nasty shit. Ignore it all is my advice.

This. I would tell them the only skip you will be having is the one in your step when she croaks.

This is horrific abuse and her flying monkeys are well airborne are they not?

Nope, if someone leaves you something in a Will in England, you have the right to reject it and if you do, it then falls to the Executor to dispose of it and that may incur costs against the estate and not the intended recipient.

It’’s a sad situation and looking like a cry for attention on her part. They can’t say it’s your stuff…to who? If it’s there and unwanted it will get binned. What’s the worst outcome? You get a bill from a skip company? Just say…not my address, not my stuff, not my problem. Could they prove otherwise? Unless it IS yours? Sounds to me like you’ve left stuff there over the years and your mother is using it as some kind of emotional leverage before she dies. Do you want any of it? If not, just say so, though presumably this is why they are saying you need to help clear it. If there’s nothing there of yours then c’est la vie. Re: ‘48 hours’. As you’ve been estranged for so long…does that actually signify? It’s all very sad 😞

Having worked for a number of years as a Leagal Secretary in Wills and Probate, I'll dust off the old work hat!

Short answer? No! They cannot force you to clear the house and they cannot charge you a “skip fee” unless you voluntarily agree to take responsibility.

You say you’ve been no contact for years. You’re not inheriting anything. That means you are not automatically responsible for the estate.

When someone dies, their estate is dealt with by the executor or executrix (named in the will) or an administrator (if no will).

It is the execs legal responsibility to clear the property and deal with belongings.

If your sister is inheriting the house, then clearing it becomes part of administering the estate. That cost comes out of the estate, not out of you personally. Never has, never will be.

They also cannot just declare “it’s your stuff so you’re liable” without evidence. If you haven’t lived there for years and haven’t stored belongings there, not recipts to show that ypu purchased, that argument doesn’t stand. Even if something were yours, they would need to give you reasonable notice and opportunity to collect it before disposing of it, they can’t just send you a bill. This type thing happen all the time.

You have three key protections
You are not an executor (from what you’ve said).
You are not inheriting.
You are under any legal obligation to volunteer labour.

If they try to invoice you, you simply don’t pay. They would have to take you to civil court and prove a contractual or legal basis for the debt, which, from what you’ve described, doesn’t exist.

Emotionally this feels manipulative. Legally, it’s noise and utter nonsense!

If you want to protect yourself, you could pre-emptively send something simple in writing something like.

“I will not be involved in administering the estate and I do not accept liability for any costs relating to the property or its contents.”

Keep it factual. No emotion. No argument.
You’re allowed to stay no contact. You’re allowed to not inherit. You’re allowed to not clear a house.

This is not your responsibility!!!

I think there is something manipulative going on here, a one last attempt at gaining control over you! Stay strong!

I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re NC, why do you have belongings still in your mum’s house? If it’s stuff you don’t want, then any belongings can be removed in the skip. If it’s a hoarding house, or you have lots of belongings, you should remove your belongings after your mother dies. But if you don’t want your belongings back, then it can be put in a skip without any input from you.

if you’re not getting anything in a will, then you can’t be charged skip fees. Usually, skip fees are deducted as expenses from the estate, then proceeds divided out.

if you’re barely speaking to your brother, why is he telling you this?

I imagine both your brother and sister love the fact your mother’s estate will be divided by 2 rather than 3 people, as it means more for them.

why did your mother abuse you and not your siblings? Do you have different fathers?

If you had read the OPs posts. All of her stuff was disposed of years ago.

Your last sentence is a bit breathtaking. I don't know what possessed you to type that kind of question out.

You can refuse anything left to you in a Will. It does not make you automatically responsiblefor the gift.

The first sentence was a tad superfluous given the whole of the rest of the post was quite clearly generated by Chat GPT. The style of the prose is quite distinctive 😂

How awful. Brother and sister are allowing her to behave awfully to you. But typical narcissistic behaviour. You're the victim and DB and DS are the golden children/flying monkeys
I would be massively upset that the siblings arent supporting altho we have a similar family dynamic and you sort of have to learn to respond differently and not expect normal behaviour from those under the spell of the caustic parent 😉
Sorry you're going through it
Id use a free one hour legal advice session maybe to put mind at rest. It seems bonkers though

I would laugh in their faces. They cannot enforce this.

I'd be very very tempted!!

@CannotActually I am so sorry your mother is so horrible to you 💕. It's not fair you've had this treatment all your life, instead of a loving mother 💕

how old is your brother? Do you feel he's trying to maintain a relationship with you or being a nasty twat?

I hope you feel reassured by this thread that it will not be your responsibility or cost. She can SAY what she likes. She can't DO what she likes, we have pesky little things called laws that she can't rewrite!

I am so sad for you. Being subjected to such thoroughly nasty and malicious treatment reflects it back on your mother - and your siblings for enabling it - not on you. As others have said, you are well off out of it. Your strength lies in silence If they were stupid enough to attempt enforce this in a court it would cost them heavily in credibility - and cash. Best wishes for a happy life

Tell them to take the cost for the skip out of your share od the inheritance...

stand with your ground love don’t be bullied into paying for something your not part of her estate should cover everything before it’s divided; if it hasn’t been done that way her solicitor was crap.
I’ve been N/C with my witch of a mother for around 15 years now & I can tell you this now when she finally shuffles off; my family needn’t come to me expecting me to pay towards her funeral; flowers; wake house clearance or any thing else because they will be told in no uncertain terms to fuck right off; she might have given birth to me but that’s all the witch did she’s done naff all since & I don’t give a shit if it leaves the old hag spinning in her grave.