Can i actually be charged for this ??

[CannotActually]

My mother (I’ve been NC for years she has instructed DB to tell me) has informed me that when she dies

1. I will receive no inheritance (sister gets the house DB gets the money)
2. I will be expected to help clear the house for my sister to move in and if I don’t I will be charged a clearance / skip fee!

There’s no obligation for me to do this and they can’t charge me? Apparently if I refuse they’ll say it’s my stuff so I’m liable ???

You don’t have to accept a bequest! If she leaves anything to you in her will, you can just say no thank you.

Your mother sounds toxic. And if they can’t tell you for 48 hours to do “official” things then they can’t tell anyone can they? Sounds like she’s trying to deliberately hurt you.

I doubt this can be enforced OP. Do you want the stuff back, whatever it is? What kind of stuff are we talking about? Because if it’s stuff accumulated during childhood (assuming this was your family home) then your mum bought it as your parent so technically it’s not ‘yours’ anyway. If it’s stuff you bought as an adult (and even then I imagine the onus would be on them to prove it’s yours, which they won’t be able to), I imagine they’d be advised to offer it back to you and if you don’t take it they can get rid. But even then I don’t think there would be any way to force you to pay for its disposal (assuming you don’t want it back). Take you to court? I doubt it would be worth the time and expense. Just because it’s written in your mums will that doesn’t make it legally enforceable. A will can’t compel someone else to do something I don’t think.
Sounds like you are well rid, although obvs we don’t know the back story.

Ignore her. She's trying to have that last bit of control. I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of a response.
If your siblings were half decent people they would tell her to stop being so ridiculous too. But what are they going to do once she's popped her clogs, start a legal battle to get you to empty the house? If it comes to that, which i highly doubt, make it clear that you haven't stepped foot in the house for years and have nothing to do with her

You can refuse or disclaim anything left in a will and it has to be done in writing. It will go back to the estate. So no.

I’d just tell her there’s no need to inform you at all, as she is irrelevant to you.

Fucking nasty woman- there’s no need.

Blimey, no wonder you’re NC, they sound delightful 😣

As other posters have said document everything. Otherwise just grey rock them, reply 'OK, can I have that in writing'' to any comments about what you may be liable for. Definitely get legal advice and follow it to the letter.

Is she trying to prompt you to make contact, I wonder?

Doesn’t want to give you too much time to get the flags out (sorry 😣) ?

Sounds like she’s trying to get a rise out of you to be honest.

you are not liable and they can take it out THEIR inheritance if they wish 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Any costs will come out of her estate. Your DB won't get anything until that has happened. Ignore them.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this awfulness. What a shitty thing to do. Just a massive hug to you, and I think you're far better off without them in your life. I would grey rock your brother. He's acting as her flying monkey and contact with him isn't doing you any good.

Oh god I would block them all and really not want to even know when she dies. It never ceases to amaze me what people put up with when it comes to family (it’s not a criticism at all, I put up with stuff I’d never believe anyone else did either). If you can, just block them and get on with your life. The skip fees threat is just that, an empty threat.

Oh and feed the message into ChatGPT so it can come up with the best response!

If she has a house & possessions, then there’s inheritance. The cost of her funeral, clearing her house etc will be deducted from the estate, and then the estate distributed. You don’t distribute until all expenses are covered. So if you get a bill, I’d be replying by notifying them to deduct it from the estate ahead of distribution. Ultimately, other than take you to court for it (which they won’t win), I don’t see what else they can do.

“Dear brother. To save you any further communications with me, please pass on my number to mothers solicitor/funeral home to let me know when she has died.
I’ll look forward to their call.”

Tell her not to bother informing you as it’s of no consequence.

I’d send the message back that they don’t need to worry about leaving it 48 hours, as you don’t need to be told at all. It’s of no interest to you, and there’ll be no help/fees towards emptying the house from you, so there’s really no need for them to communicate the death to you.

My take...

Your mum has actually decided that she's been shitty and has belatedly chosen to include you in the will in some form.

Your siblings are annoyed and want to make sure you get nothing.

So they've devised a way to get you to say there's nothing in the house you want, and given themselves 48h to get rid of any valuable or personal items your mum actually has kept, so they can claim the items referenced in her will don't exist.

A will is about what a person wants to happen with their money and possessions when they die. Just as she can't legally compel you to spend money on her house while she is alive, she can't when she is dead either. It's not her mkneycto spend.

They are all rotten human beings and best ignored. But if you're hung up on the difference between these two things

Your brother can tell you straight away that your mum has been released from hospital (without first telling you that she has gone in)
And
When your mother dies, he will not tell you until 48 hours later

The difference is this - your brother is collaborating with your mother to try and cause you grief. I imagine the point is to make you feel bad. If she's old and unwell, every admission to hospital may well be "it". Your brother is waiting to see if she makes it, and if she gets sent home, he can basically tell you "mum nearly died but she didn't and you had no idea,you just carried on with your life, you awful thing". When she dies, same thing - "mum's been dead for days and you've just been carrying on with your own life, you awful thing".
And until she does die? Well, there's a chance that you are going about your business with the horrible sense that your mum might be dead, right now, and you are just etc.
He is conditioning you to give yourself a hard time, when you have done nothing wrong.

I believe the clearing fee can be taken from the estate. Fuck them

Not much you can do about point 1.

For point 2, wait until the bill arrives and don't pay it. If your siblings threaten you with legal action to recover it, refer them to the answer given in Arkell v Pressdram. 😉