Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

Will you consider doing a cheese and pineapple hedgehog? Along with a selection of sandwiches, little sausages and sausage rolls. Maybe some jelly for after.

Put up a poster saying “a tidy house is a sign of a wasted life”, then take to bed with a migraine and leave your DH to do everything.

I don’t understand everyone saying lasagna is easy to make? Last time I made a lasagna I nearly had a breakdown.

If you just buy the bechamel sauce it makes things much easier.

Blimey, some of these spreads are what I'd provide on Christmas eve or for a birthday party! I certainly wouldn't be going all out for someone I didn't really like.
The options in our house, on a random Saturday, would be EITHER:
1.Chilli, baked spuds and salad
2.Pizza and salad
3.Sausages in buns with wedges.

1. Hot pot with pickled red cabbage and crusty bread.
2. Bakery pies, mushy peas and gravy.

I might stretch to a bowl of Doritos to start.

if you just buy the whole bloody thing it makes it even easier and if you are so sorry but you already have plans, its a complete breeze

Can't argue with that.

Use it as an excuse to buy the things you normally wouldn’t as they are a treat/a bit too expensive and serve those, then at least you’ve got nice food if she’s a cow!
Make DH do whichever cleaning job is the worst one for you (dusting for me, I’d rather clean the loo than dust!)
Have a bottle of something that’s just for you - have a sneaky glass if it gets too much or save it for when they’ve gone.
Good luck!

Roast a couple of large chickens in the morning. Cool to room temperature.
(Also some chipolatas for the kids?)
Buy salads.
Buy dessert[s).
Buy French sticks, selection of cheeses..

But how will she have time to get her hair and nails done, polish the house to perfection, help her husband get dressed?

I repeat: it is not 1956. Men can sort out their own shit.

I'd be inventing a sickness and getting him to host them at a cafe close by. Why would you bother hosting a judgy person

Just go out to lunch. Husband pays. They're his friends.

I wonder if men ever post these types of threads somewhere.

OMG I couldn't be faffed with all this! I would get takeout!

Fuck that. Let your husband sort it out they’re his friends. I’d be off out for the day, no regrets.

Not super helpful maybe but if shes that judgy you could lay on a feast fit for royalty and it wouldn't be good enough by the sounds of it so I suggest a change of mindset, do what is easiest for you and suits you knowing that she will judge regardless and learn a couple of phrases to repeat in light of any nasty/rude comments, saying did you mean to sound so rude is a good one but if you've not got the confidence to call it out directly like that then something neutral repeated everytime will let her know that she ain't getting under your skin today and you no longer give a flying fuck what she thinks. Get DH on board to back you up as well either at a more direct level or more neutral if that's what you are more comfortable with

I would be steaming at the lack of notice but I agree that shoving a couple of chickens in the oven with whatever combination of herbs/lemon/olive oil you can get, plus bought tarted-up salad (add some broken up walnut pieces, olives, bits of feta, whatever) is probably the least stressful. Baked potatoes. Bought pudding. So long as he goes off to buy the chickens while you clean the loo.

Free range chicken and massive salad?

I'd take them to a pub.

Best idea is to go down pub and make the men pay the price. Let thecwoman be judgey there.

So tomorrow you've got a lovely day to spend by yourself whilst your DH entertains his mate and his wife and the kids?

Sounds amazing. What a thoughtful DH. maybe take yourself off to meet some friends , or just have a wander round a national trust and sit and relax with the paper and a scone.

I had to laugh at the McDonalds delivery.

Let me think 🤔

Drink lots of wine in the kitchen by yourself first.

I’d open up some tins of soup with crusty bread, cheese and olives & grapes.

i certainly wouldn’t be putting myself out for this woman, and I would stare just past her ear hard to disconcert her at the first sign of her judgyness.

Judgemental = she’s not coming in! The men can meet up at the pub problem solved.

This sounds a lot like not your problem.

Drink too much and eat some crisps and tzatziki x

If someone cooked this for me id be really happy and thankful. All yummy 😋!