Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

Don't make any more effort than you would for any other visiting acquaintance, and if she starts making judgy comments just act like you didn't hear them, perhaps attempt to stifle a yawn, and say something totally unconnected to someone else.

If they want feeding I would just go to a family friendly chain pub where you don't need to book and split the bill. I would leave your DH in charge of the bulk of the cleaning if it's his friend who he arranged the visit with.

What a load of faff for someone you don’t like ! Waitrose, Ocado, m&s….fuck that snobby shit, just be you

Oooh, I know what you can do @ByProudDreamer Indeed what you SHOULD do!

Get a bunch of McDonalds Happy Meals! All chicken nuggets ones and McFish ones!

I’d do a tray full of chicken legs with garlic and lemon, sausages in case there are picky children, naice bread, a massive salad and apple crumble and bought custard for pudding.

And delegate ALL the cleaning to your DH.

I would be kinda sad if I arrived and was served soup! Just my opinion tho

I’d be going to the nearest decent pub. DH would be free to join me with his guests if he felt so inclined. Otherwise not my problem.

How about doing nibbles and dips and then going for a pub lunch?

This ^

Get everyone who lives in your house tidying and cleaning, especially DH.

Nah, life’s too short for trying to impress judgey pants snobs. They wouldn’t be coming into my home to judge.

if I could sum up Mumsnet this thread would be it - and everyone should read and judge every other reply, on every other thread, by this one.

That's a lot of trouble and expense for someone who will naturally find faults.. Minimal effort and expense would be my way forward then she may not want to come again!

If you a hyper-judgemental person it's all, even more than, you deserve.

You can't win this one. If you go to M&S she'll judge you for not going to Waitrose. If you go to Waitrose, she'll judge you for not going to Fortnum & Mason. If you make it yourself she'll judge the standard of your cooking. Fuck her - just put out what you want. By the way, who designated you the maid?

So would I.
I like your style!

Relax and do whatever you'd do if these visitors were your real friends. Because if its good enough for people you care about, then surely its good enough for her. Trying to aspire to be different to please people who you think will judge you is a mugs game. If they're going to judge they might as well judge who you really are.

Further to my earlier reply.....

Who did the inviting? The one who did the inviting is the one who hosts. So you leave the house tomorrow am and arrive back just AFTER they arrive (wait in the car if needs be!). Then you walk in with a cheerful "Oh lovely to see you! DH, what are we having for lunch?!"

No one extends my hospitality without my prior agreement.

This is almost word for word what I’d have suggested.

Arrrrrrgh why did I open this thread - the ‘crusty bread’ brigade are here in force

Get a takeaway, call her out on her attitude, you don't have to tolerate friends like this and neither does your DH. His friend who is married to her surely knows what's she's like and will understand a no nonsense approach to her staying over.

"Pombear anyone?"

Let me guess, it is short notice because DH invited them?

In that case, he is the host. Why on earth are you even considering running yourself ragged for someone who is going to judge no matter what because they clearly aren't a nice person?

Either change plans and book somewhere for lunch or tell DH that it is his problem and take yourself out for the day. They are his friends.

Pizza dough twists with dips
tabouleh
small chicken schnitzels
pasta pesto salad
tomato and red onion salad
olives
cheesy potato skins

You’ve just suggested one of the hardest meals to get right if you’ve never done it before, and it also takes forever,..