Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

Life is too short to try to impress judgy people. What would your ideal Saturday lunch be? Whatever that is, do it. At this time of year I would go for soup, bread and a couple of seriously nice cheeses with fruit and cream for afters. Be true to yourself and then at least you will be happy. In my experience judgy people are never going to be happy with you anyway. They much prefer being judgy to enjoying themselves.

If your DH has done the inviting, what is he doing to host them? Has he done the cleaning and sorted out the food? Nothing for you to do.

I'm sure your husband can book a table at a nearby restaurant, then tell his good friend you'll meet them there instead.

I expect the husband will be 'working very long hours', which seem to be the default reason so many MNetters run themselves ragged, and actually end up putting in way more hours than the men.

Cold cuts, nice bread, cheese, luxury pickles, big salad, butter. Eton Mess for dessert? Not quite the right time of year but one can always find raspberries these days.

Could even serve a ready-made soup for starters.

A really considerate host would give the judgey individual plenty to judge! Then everyone's happy.

Totally agree. Why play her game? It’s exhausting and pointless.

Restaurant or Taco/burrito set up.

Your husband invited them, it's super short notice, and you're doing the work, so I wouldn't strain myself.

Your husband's a dick and so is Judgey Pants.

Go to Iceland,buy loads of party food and laugh at her judgey face.

Frankly, I'm with the earlier poster..just why? You don't have a relationship with her. Provide a meal -lasagne and salad sounds perfect- because that's good manners, clean loo, then smile sweetly!

I'd get crusty baguettes, cheeses, cold meats and picky bits like peppers stuffed with goats cheese, olives, artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes and mozzarella pearls, cornichons. Crisps and dips like hummus, tzatziki etc. Couple of desserts, lemon tart & chocolate cheesecake.

This is happening tomorrow? Buy everything ready made, unwrap it all, plate it up and pour yourself a large glass of wine before they arrive. Lots of good buffet suggestions already made. The only room I would ensure is spotless would be the bathroom guests will be using.

I voted YABU because your DH should be doing all the cleaning and meal preparing for HIS mate and HIS mate’s annoying partner.
However, that’s it not what you asked and to actually help you- my plan would be, get myself and DH and kids cracking on a big tidy and clean of house (plus that will be nice for you all to enjoy when the house is all nice anyway) and I would go to M&S or Waitrose and get crusty breads, nice butter, cheeses, olives and a few more things for a mezze type spread. Then afterwards make sure my DH doesn’t do this to me again!

Baked potatoes with a buffet style arrangement of green salad, coleslaw, and bowls of grated cheese for people to help themselves to. Much easier than lasagne.

Tell your husband to change the plan to a meal out

Sounds like whatever you do will be wrong so why make any effort?
Shove pizza in the oven.
Serve it with garlic bread for that sweet scent of pearls a clutchin'

This. Arrange to meet at a cafe / pub for food if you must meet. No way should he drop this on you the day before. Or feign a migraine / diarrhea and cancel it

Make a big huge iced cake and if she says something shitty, push her face into it.

To tweak this - send DH with a very specific shopping list eg 2 x family lasagne, bags of salad + cucumber and avocado to do a green salad, garlic bread, cheeses + grapes, crackers and chutney. Dessert - M&S raspberry trifle is to die for. Or do brownies and good vanilla ice cream...

While he's doing that, you can clean the main areas ...

Or switch jobs, you shop and he cleans ...

Guest bathroom? many of us do not have such a thing. I have one bathroom upstairs and the one toilet is in the bathroom too

Either make a chilli and serve with rice, taco shells, salsa , guacamole and grated cheese.
Or jacket potatoes with options to fill with grated cheese, coleslaw and tuna mayo .
And if you don’t really like judgey friend - who cares what she thinks

This.

https://www.gordonramsayrestaurants.com/recipes/roast-chicken-with-chickpea-stuffing-and-big-green-salad/

Get a couple of chickens and some baguettes with nice butter to accompany. It's delicious and very easy.

I would give him the cleaning list and bugger off out to the shops first thing. Have a leisurely coffee, look at books etc. Buy the things I like best for a lunch spread then come home plate it up and throw the boxes away.

My parents came for lunch last week, I roasted a chicken that morning so we had that with the salad/bread etc. Then I ended up with tasty leftovers for the week, winning.

Same lol.

I'd be very tempted to feign illness given you don't like her and you think, she is going to sit in judgment on you. Buying, preparing and serving up food to someone like that in a house that I had scoured from top to bottom would make me angry and resentful. I'd be tempted to make a great big pile of cheese sandwiches and serve them with crisps and pop!