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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 23/02/2026 16:00

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:16

Christ, would all of you giving suggestions really do all the cooking, cleaning and hosting for this woman just because the blokes are friends??

OP, why on earth didn't you tell your husband to either host it himself, or better still to suggest a meal in a restaurant?

This is very much my view. Who did the inviting?

Ohfuckrucksack · 23/02/2026 16:22

I'm more in the 'give her something to judge you about'

but I'm like that. My husband would sigh a bit and probably sensibly suggest we don't meet them at our house.

Which would be a win.

Don't let yourself be treated this way OP.

CovenOfCheeses · 23/02/2026 17:43

ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

Glad it went well. I would send her a present (around £100) and a bunch of flowers with a card asking her to leave you with an honest google review and any critiques of your hosting so that you can improve in future.

PeppyRoseBeaker · 24/02/2026 22:05

Feign illness

EvieBB · 02/03/2026 13:05

gamerchick · 20/02/2026 20:28

Why?

Just put some sarnies and pom bears out.

Or let your husband sort it

😂

SingtotheCat · 02/03/2026 13:11

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

This.

pinkyredrose · 02/03/2026 13:41

ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

Why did you do all that?

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 02/03/2026 13:45

LeedsLoiner · 23/02/2026 15:57

I'd do a massive buffet of children's party food, Dairylea triangles, Monster Munch, fruit, Penguins and party bags with toys from the 99P Stores in them....

Show quote history

That actually sounds pretty good!

MeSeM · 04/03/2026 21:00

Rainallnight · 23/02/2026 16:00

This is very much my view. Who did the inviting?

Show quote history

Most likely the men who are friends, recommended lovely original commenter did the slaving over the hot stove 😥💔

Gossipisgood · 10/03/2026 15:14

Do a nice charcuterie board with cold meats & cheeses. Crackers, nuts, fruit, mini pork pies, veg sticks, dips, olives, sundried tomatos etc. then do a smaller sweet board with mini cakes, scones & biscuits.

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:21

As a reminder for next time, these are your h’s friends, so your h should be equally involved in cooking, cleaning, tidying, hosting, clearing up…

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:23

CovenOfCheeses · 22/02/2026 09:54

In your position, I would get professional cleaners and then a Marie Kondo organiser for 2 -3 days at £7k/day.to sort your cupboards. I would get a dental teeth whitening course, a tummy tuck, a face lift and then hire a professional stylist to sort out makeup, hair and then change your wardrobe using a personal shopper. Then I would suggest contacting local Michelin starred restaurants to see whether they do catering. In the days preceding the meetup, I would read the economist, The Times, The Guardian, the FT and a range of literature as well as poetry like Shelley, Keats and Wordsworth to engage in meaningful conversation. Anything less would invite criticism.

😂😂😂

MeSeM · 11/03/2026 11:05

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:21

As a reminder for next time, these are your h’s friends, so your h should be equally involved in cooking, cleaning, tidying, hosting, clearing up…

Yes & even her husband should most likely be responsible for all of what is involved, in preparation for these friends of his-if these "friends" of his, continue to be snobby & sitting in judgement of his beloved wife💚

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