Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

This. Cleaning, cooking and hosting is on your DH. Sleep in, have a nice bath, and go downstairs when everyone’s sitting down to eat.

The husband also has a very time consuming hobby, which hobby it is will not be named, because it can be outing (it's cycling).

Why are you doing all the faff when you don’t even like her? It’s your DH’s job.

I remember doing this sort of thing for my lazy ex.

Leave it up to your Husband to sort out.

I would not be hosting a judgemental cow.

But if I was absolutely forced to, they would get some french stick and ham/sandwich lunch. As for cleaning, just make sure the bathroom/toilet is clean and sod the rest of it.

Can you not order in a McDonald’s?

Speed read ‘The Let Them Theory’, let your husband cook whatever, observe the charade from a distance (or go out and leave them to it).

It is not 1956.

I’m with others on why?

but certainly don’t change you.

I do get it to a certain extent in that as being in a farm DH is known to rock in with a rep or A couple of lads.

so we always have soup. Mine is as easy as it comes, fridge soup.

then crusty bread. Maybe bacon rolls. Job done.

scones or rock cakes usually on the go with a cuppa.

bye bye. Back to work. or kids activities or whatever you usually do.

Check to see if shes recently turned veggie/vegan, you don’t want her to gloat that you “failed” to provide her with food she can eat….especially if she’ll pretend to be vegan just to spite you!

I do get it to a certain extent in that as being in a farm DH is known to rock in with a rep or A couple of lads.

By 'rock in', do you mean turn up unannounced and expect you to provide him and them with food?

I would buy tubs of fresh soup and throw them in a pot.
Buy a few breads , baguette, brown soda, cream crackers.
Get a few meats and salads (coleslaw, ham/tomato) few bags of crisps

Apple tart and box of ice cream cones for the teens.

Get those partially cooked loaves, they make the house smell lush, no-one can be judge with that smell

Also if she's judgy so what we all have different standards.

This ⬆️
Seriously! Why on earth are you doing it?!

I would NOT be cleaning like a mad woman and making a beautiful spread for someone that's rude and judgy. Neither would I be inviting them into my home. Fuck that.

Tell dh to say there's been a sudden change of plans and you'll have to reschedule. Then reschedule for a neutral meeting place, and ideally just the blokes.

Sounds like a problem for your DH to sort.
And if she says anything judgy, have some responses ready.

Out to lunch with you all. I'd gladly pay for it all if it were me. No way on earth I'd host a judgmental fart in my home as I'd probably knock her block off if she as much as twitched her nose. Nothing will be good enough for these types anyway, their mission in life is to criticise. Nope.

On second thoughts, out to lunch but DH pays. It's his friends missus. Feck that.

It might just be me, but I often find a buffet is actually more time consuming to put together than just cooking a meal. Someone suggested lasagne which is good as you can make it first thing tomorrow morning then forget about it. Serve it with a dressed salad which can literally just be a couple of bags of mixed salad leaves, cucumber and cherry tomatoes and a bought dressing. Maybe a couple of garlic breads. For pudding either a selection of fruit or chocolate mouse is quick and easy to make.

If you really do want a buffet, maybe a green salad, a potato salad (literally boiled/steamed new potatoes - no need to peel, a decent mayo and add in loads of chives to jazz it up), some nice quiches, maybe a pizza, bread and a selection of cheeses.

What the fuck. Just no to all the suggestions. He invited them, he’s friends with them, he can sort the sodding lunch.

Nothing better than getting everyone’s order and going to the chippy. Serve with fresh crusty bread and butter. Omg - food of the Gods and no work! 😉

what a pity that you already have plans....

Roast a couple of large chickens in the morning. Cool to room temperature.
(Also some chipolatas for the kids?)
Buy salads.
Buy dessert[s).
Buy French sticks, selection of cheeses..

Decide on your menu and get a home delivery for early tomorrow morning this will free up loads of time, buy ready made where you can, make it as easy as possible.

Best prep you can do is accept that whatever you do, she will judge you as not to her standards.

Three course meal? "Oh I wouldnt have done that, I would have gone for a much more relaxed buffet!"

Buffet? "Oh, I am surprised you didnt go for a proper formal meal, thats what I would have done!"

and so on....

So just do what you would usually do for your family and tick off her comments on your mental bingo card because anything you do will be wrong. She is astonishingly insecure and needs to put you down to make herself feel better, so smile, nod and laugh to yourself.

If your DH doesnt like her either, then maybe a full on bingo card in the kitchen would make you both laugh!

If my husband has guests he sorts things out. Because this isn't the 1950s.

We had a much loved guest today. I sorted lunch, he vacuumed the house, cleaned the bathroom and toilets and went to the supermarket for things we needed.