Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

[ByProudDreamer]

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

I “assumed” hosting 4 adults, 3 teenagers and a younger child was not happening in a one/two bedroom flat.

Another strange assumption but ok.

wins the thread

Yup. If she’s going to judge, let her judge being invited for lunch which ends up being zero lunch… can’t you have a sudden emergency and let DH deal with it all? Next time say no.

On come on, it needs a bottle of tomato ketchup or salad cream to make it a meal.

the lack of which shows how pissed off she is!!

There are some great suggestion on this thread but definitely not quiche! It’s so boring and not impressive at all and there are so many other nicer dishes.

sounds perfect to me, especially if served straight out of the packet.

The best suggestion is for Op to fuck off somewhere and let her husband sort the food.

Just call her out on it. "You are very judgemental arnt you?"

Make a chilli; do some jacket potatoes, get some tacos. Get some fruit melon, strawberries etc and make a platter ?Some chocolate brownies and some ice cream. Job done!

Now, i’m starving!

Playing devil's advocate here...

Don't go too overboard - they'll want to come back.

Basic / standard clean of bathroom - get your DH to do it

pate, cheese and breads
forget desert - maybe a few grapes

No alcohol - it's lunchtime and drinking at lunchtime doesn't agree with me.

have a thing to do at 3pm (adjust time to suit) so there's a natural and early end.

And yes most definitely challenge any judgement immediately, even if it's to say "Wow, did you mean to come across like that ? Bit un-necessary"

And next time - let the husbands meet up alone

Where is your husband in all of this?
Does he know she makes you feel? You come first not his friend.

Let him choose what you eat and let him cook it.

Otherwise
I would insist that you go out for a meal. Make some excuse. And then let her choose the restaurant. Then if it doesn't meet her standards she can criticise ithe restaurant and not you.

Lastly, you need to tell her you are sick of her criticisms and judgements and are not putting up with it anymore

I would get two french sticks, cheeses, and raid the marks and spencer party food and picky bits section, get a fancy puzza and two quiches and just lay it all out nicely . Put some plates out and some coleslaw and that would be that.
Desert would be a cake, again from marks and put on a nice plate.
Because i am not going to ever prepare a whole meal forsomeone that will sit in judgement over my cooking.

I popped back to see how the OP got on, but I see special posters are still offering their helpful advice, hours after the alleged event was supposed to have taken place.

Oh dear you are a better person than me

Last time I was in this scenario, I just got cheeses and salad and bread in

and done bottles of wine

i done with hosting for people I do not care about. If it is DH friend who matters, HE can do the hostessing duties

Lasagna is notoriously difficult to get right, especially if not used to it. Consistency is often tricky, with the result being too runny.

Greetings original commenter 💚
I'm so sorry to hear this acquaintance is so judgemental 🫂
I empathise wholeheartedly & I'm presuming she'll have been & gone by now
I'm praying others comments here have helped you -
You don't deserve her judgement & I completely comprehend how you wish to remain on pleasant terms with her due to your husband being close friends with her husband 🫂
Remember those who usually feel the need to judge others, feel very insecure about something within themselves
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best 💚 🫂 💚

Get a cleaning company to do a one off clean for you the day before, or early morning of the visit, so you have time to prepare the food. Have you got a Slow cooker? Chicken casserole then serve with rice [ 2min, microwave rice is VERY handy] or buttery new potatoes, [ready done from the supermarket unless your short of cash having paid for the cleaner.] I find apple crumble is ALWAYS popular, I think because not many people bother to make it these days. Again ready made custard is risk free and ice-cream option. Cheese board with grapes and mixed crackers. Stick to what you know. Most people these days just appreciate ordinary cooking. If the kids are likely to reject the casserole, cook some sausages. If you want a veggie option then Macaroni cheese, with sliced hard boiled eggs mixed in with a really good layer of cheese browned on top is hard to beat. Serve with garlic bread.[ goes with the casserole as well. Most of this food can be done early and kept hot. If you must for conventions sake, throw in a bag of green salad leaves and a few little tomatoes. I find its usually left anyway so I don't bother. You can have a fruit bowl as well, in case Mrs Fancy Pants is dieting so there's something she can scoff. All this food can be eaten buffet style, but do have somewhere for them to put drinks down etc. Or serve it at the dining room table which is more sociable. The teens can have their own area if you prefer. Good Luck, don't panic. Oh Get yourself ready early and wear a pinny, If you look like a domestic goddess you'll feel more confident.

The words judgy and friend are an oxymoron

Christ no
Why go to so much trouble and expensive for this walking bitch of a madam
I'd be taking myself off for the day and DH could sort it out
Might make DH learn not to be so free and easy with his invites in the future
I wouldn't be kow towing to some judgemental cow.
On my weekend
On my free time
No bloody way

Clean wise just make sure the house smells nice as well as looking clean and dust the skirting boards and blinds etc (if YOU want to, don't feel obligated, but I also like to make sure my house is in order if anyone is coming over)

Lunch wise

Bread, cheese, humous, meats, olives etc

OR chilli and rice / jacket potatoes

lasagne and salad and a nice pizza to cook in the oven

Burrata salad - looks fancy, and it's delicious!

Chop up cherry tomatoes, parsley, red onion, add red wine vinegar, then place the burrata on top

Beautiful!

THIS! I voted you are being unreasonable - for even entertaining this idea. Why are you bothering to make an effort? Judgy people need something to judge to make themselves feel better, so don't make an effort - make her life easier. Sainsbury's lasagne, garlic bread, prewashed salad, shop ice-cream. Don't clean.

This
Even if OP had the house immaculate ... anthea turner meets bree van de kamp.. Mrs hinch level of clean
And makes a nigella level of meal
I just know this judgey woman will still make an ignorant comment
To make her insecure self feel like a big girl
I would not be going along with the nonsense