Help me deter neighbours

[Claytonclogs]

I have miserable neighbours. One woman coordinates with another neighbour to make sure that I can’t get my car in the drive most days of the week. My house is at the end of a very narrow dead end track and one of them parks their car opposite my drive each day after I’ve left for work preventing me turning in. Every day, the same charade - I go and ask them to move and maybe they do or maybe they don’t do it for a few hours. They both have drives and garages. They’ve had it in for me since I put in planning application for loft conversion. It was approved easily, it’s legal and was built considerately. I don’t overlook their properties or gardens from the loft.

Confronting doesn’t work, trying to diffuse doesn’t work, and I’m not interested in stuff like blocking their cars in retaliation. I don’t want to go down legal routes because don’t want formal disputes with the neighbours.

So … my goal is to appear so bizarre and wildly unhinged that they will think twice about blocking my drive or taking any action that might lead to an interaction with me. Creative and (legal) suggestions welcome!

Get them towed for obstructing your land

Small Prophets 😎

Great idea!

Make fake Wiccan style symbols and hang them from the hedge, on their cars, and leave them by their driveways.

Buy a cheap sidecar/trailer with reg and park it there, securing the space. Watch them melt down in real time on a daily basis.

Who has the energy to be so petty and spiteful like this. Have you got CCTV? Is there anything you can put on the road to act as a deterrent for these dick heads. I'm struggling here to understand why due to a loft conversion, this is how they behave. Smelly manure like horse shit, fox 💩. Would that work or have I lost my marbles. You're welcome.

I don’t know if this has already been asked as there are lots of pages and I don’t have the focus to read every reply.

What issues would it cause for them if you parked just outside your own drive when you get home and they are blocking you from getting on your drive (so on the road but blocking your own drive). Would this inconvenience them? If so do that and take your time when they ask you to move and say I parked it there as I cannot get my car into my drive and was too tired to have to ask and wait for you to move your car. Keep repeating until they get fed up of the taste of their own pathetic creation and decide to give up as it’s causing them too much inconvenience.

I suggest you contact the community police officer. It is illegal to deliberately block a driveway and someone's access. So first get CCTV installed so they are filmed getting up to no good. Then you have proof.

You will never be friends with them clearly, but if they get their 'collar felt', that might be their wake up call.

It's a private road though so police etc won't be able to take action

There are always two sides to a story. I’m totally on your side. But from what I can read they are obviously very pissed off about you up coming extension. Do they realise that it will not affect them in anyway regarding being overlooked .Have you showed them the plans and assured them that they will not be over looked. They also will realise that whilst the building work is being done they will assume that it will affect things like work vans dust and noise. And that is a big nuisance for them and they feel resentful and probably jealous,I understand that ,but you have the right to have an extension or whatever is done to your house. Perhaps you could arrange a meeting with them and show them the plans ,have a chat about how you can make sure that it won’t impact their lives too much.
If they won’t play ball then go for the jugular and be as awkward as you can be and when the building does start make sure that lots of noice and dust is being made. But you have to live there and it’s not nice having to live with this annemosity for your own mental health. Hope that you can resolve this issue peacefully.

Rooflmao 😂

Just leave your car in the road so they can't block you in and so you can go about your business.

Sorry I didn’t realise that it’s all ready been built.well to late now then just find ways to block them in.

This was my initial thought.

This!

Private road, is it an affluent/nice area?

Lower the tone of the area with the following

Rotary washing line in your front garden with skimpy underwater.

Flag mast, maybe a rainbow/LGBQT, if the St George wouldn't do the trick.

A bench for you to sit with a cuppa and fag, whilst facetiming all and sundry.

It's a private lane. OP you need to look at your contract about rights of access to your drive. Do you have a big car? So a smaller one could manoeuvre more easily if they are parked opposite? If so, nothing you can do. It's a disappointing situation. I favour the direct approach in asking them why they are parking where they are. What can you do to resolve. You say your extension hasn't impacted them, but they feel something. Could be you cannot amicably and sanely mediate this, but understanding their rationale will help MN army in providing solutions pertinent to situation 😁

Ooo I’d go down a delightfully witchy path with this! But then I am that way inclined 🤔. I’d put some crystals around their car or on their tyres. You can get small tumbled or raw ones quite easily and cheaply. Clear quartz would be good as it’ll amplify their petty negative energy and send it right back to them. I’d pour a salt outline around their cars- table salt will do. This will contain their negativity within the outline but also offer you a bit of protection. I’d write their names on paper and put them in freezer to freeze them out - of your mind/enegry/space. They won’t know about that one obviously but it might help you. I’d adorn any outside space they will see with really OTT witchy things - I’m thinking cauldron plant pots, a sheep skulls, a proper wooden broom and really OTT witchy signs or a doormat (if your brave enough 😉). Hmm what else, oooo talk to the moon a lot or about the moon and planets especially mercury retrograde, talk to trees too heck hug a tree directly in front of them and invite them to hold hands and join in. Scatter tarot cards outside their house and invite them to a gong bath. Ask them what their star sign and birth time was so you can make a street birth chart to maximise your good fortune for the lunar new year. Pls ask if you need more inspiration I love to be mischievous 😈 🖤

Just block them in.

Thought of more.
If you have to ask them to get access to your drive or they bring it up to you in all dead seriousness (but secretly joking) tell them it’s absolutely fine I’ll take the broom next time.
Tell them you have a new sage stick and you’d just love smudge them.
Play lots of music like season of the witch, Stevie nicks, Lana del ray.

I’m sorry. This is a mumsnet parking thread. Where’s the mandatory drawing of said parking issue 🤣

Op this is a nightmare. Our neighbours park right to the drip kerb on both sides which makes it impossible for us to swing in, it’s such a pain

Get a megaphone with a siren. When you get home and can’t get on the drive, lean out of the window and go off until they come out and move.

I love the cake/jam suggestion here, but just hand it to them and stare and smile sweetly yet sinisterly and insist you watch them take a bite before you leave 😈

Are they old? I had miserable neighbours like that and I was always nice to them. Funnily enough they both died within months of each other and I really believe it was their miserable attitude that gave one a cancer and the other a heart attack. They were only about 68-70). Why don't you arrange a party and invite them too? It might work. Other thing that might work is paying them compliments - are their gardens nice? You could admire their say roses or whatever and ask for advice on how they did it. Kill them with kindness. Don't let the charades get to you - imagine how miserable their lives are compared to yours if that's their entertainment. I would try feel compassion towards them instead.