Help me deter neighbours

[Claytonclogs]

I have miserable neighbours. One woman coordinates with another neighbour to make sure that I can’t get my car in the drive most days of the week. My house is at the end of a very narrow dead end track and one of them parks their car opposite my drive each day after I’ve left for work preventing me turning in. Every day, the same charade - I go and ask them to move and maybe they do or maybe they don’t do it for a few hours. They both have drives and garages. They’ve had it in for me since I put in planning application for loft conversion. It was approved easily, it’s legal and was built considerately. I don’t overlook their properties or gardens from the loft.

Confronting doesn’t work, trying to diffuse doesn’t work, and I’m not interested in stuff like blocking their cars in retaliation. I don’t want to go down legal routes because don’t want formal disputes with the neighbours.

So … my goal is to appear so bizarre and wildly unhinged that they will think twice about blocking my drive or taking any action that might lead to an interaction with me. Creative and (legal) suggestions welcome!

Those saying buy an old banger .. you do realise this still needs to be taxed, mot’d and insured not exactly cheap, nor doable for most people.

Can you ask a burly friend or family member to accompany you one day and look menacing?

Bullies sometimes only respond to their own language I’m afraid. Not saying any threats should be made but a massive man might make them think twice.

Additionally start documenting and filming their conduct and discuss with 111. You could also use this to take to a solicitor to write a menacing letter.

If it’s a private road
and if you pay a yearly sum towards maintenance
don’t pay until the neighbour stops blocking it

This has made me snort my tea laughing, thank you.

I'd block them in, and find another mode of transport for a while. Even if it meant hiring a car for a week (park the replacement car a little way away, so they just see you leaving/returning on foot, which should confuse them).

When they come over to ask you to move, tell them your car's broken down, so you've made 'other arrangements' for now. Nice and vague.

Tell them not to worry, as you're hoping to get someone out to take a look 'soonish' as it's becoming increasingly volatile and you never know when it'll start nowadays.

The OP said that it's a private road owned by all the neighbours so no need to worry about parking a car there without tax MOT or insurance.

I’d be very surprised if this road was such a road that cars are exempt from any rules or regulations 🤔
If that is the case, then presumably OP can do anything she likes to the car that’s bothering her? .. tow it, jack it and move it, block it in completely etc. As she’s none of this, then my guess is it’s not a private road in that sense 🤷‍♀️

As its a private road I might start by looking at your deeds/whatever that govern the use of the track and see if they are breaching any of the conditions

Divide and conquer?

Be really lovely to one of the neighbours - smiling - dropping off cakes and cards and flowers.

Be mean to the other. Only block her drive. Report her - anything

Can you apply to extend your dropped curb?

Think I need a picture to help me see how they block you .. personally I’d block the exit completely if possible, sod them, if they’re being awkward I’m sure you can ramp it up!

Buy some frozen mice that people buy for pet snakes. Defrost and leave on their bonnet.

Oh yes easier said than done, people know people who have got all these things just like. Also but an old car lol. What about the tax as well.

I'd be brave and do this. If I was petty I'd spinkle their car with birdseed.

Hire the biggest burliest bodyguard type to knock on their door and politely ask them to move. Will only work if they have husbands. Women bully women because they don’t see a physical threat (amongst other reasons). Now that you’re ‘dating’ Jason Momoa the husbands might be inclined to request the wives are more reasonable.

This.

When asked to move say "I'd park in my driveway and save you having to ask me to move if I could access it" oh well....they'll get bored asking you to move

This and some Tibetan dragon tingsha bells to ting ting as you walk around.

Are they watching you to see how bothered you are?

Id get a tape measure and make a song and dance of measuring the width of your car and then the width of the gap … then try to get out and look confused about the space not being big enough.

I do too.

Perfect way to handle things

Go out and take lots of photos of their cars while taking notes on a clip board, if they confront you just say its in public land so you are allowed to take photos and make notes for your records.

I think this is the only way to go .

Why don't you block their drive when they block yours. Remember, if it escalates, they started it.

Can you back down your narrow alley to your drive? Backing into your drive would be easier to do and will completely befuddled your neighbor.

Every so often I would be putting screws in there tyres often enough that it was annoying not so often they could claim it was me. Or if that’s too risky for you, as you drive past chuck bird seed over the car. They will soon get bored of washing the crap off.