dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

[lunarwhisper]

Reposting in AIBU for traffic
Trying to keep this brief

My dd is 15 and she's 3 days overdue we went to the hospital yesterday for reduced movements all fine but she's been booked in for an induction tomorrow
We arent the closest and werent before the pregnancy either due to her behaviour at the time and she was living with her dad for a few months befoe she found out but i was meant to be her birthing partner .

Since shes been off school we have been closer and going out together when my younger dc are at school but we did have an argument as she wants to call the baby something ridiculous and she called me controlling

The dad isnt the nicest of boys and tbh neither is his dad ive only spoke to him once and that was when i told him dd was pregnant and he said how did his son know its his and called dd a slag

They eventually broke up and he was bullying her along with his friends in school which made her anxious about attending , she blocked him and they had no contact from december until recently , they aren't back together but apparently he does want to be involved

Anyway fast forward to the issue, she is due to be induced tomorrow and I've woken up today vomiting and I don't feel the greatest. The dc’s dad aren't really involved tbh but the plan was he come here and be with the dc (though they'll not be home during the day) and I go with dd. Im now unsure what to do as I wont be much help to dd and obviously with a bug on the labour ward wont be good anyway

The dad is under 16 so i doubt just then would be allowed and I dont think dd would want him there anyway , i don't know if shed want her dad there either(i wouldnt have wanted mine there at 15 and we were much closer than dd and her dad) and im unsure how much use he’d be

What the hell do we do??

Thankfully, our society puts the wellbeing of baby over the need to punish the mother.

The police (to address your previous post) are highly unlikely to take action against two 15 year olds - or even two 14 year olds, as the DD may have been at the time she got pregnant. It is quite common for 15 year olds to engage in sexual activity together.

An under 16 year old being pregnant should and would trigger a referral to social care to see if a pre-birth assessment needs to be undertaken. That doesn't mean that an assessment will be undertaken, or that if it's taken, it will result in a social worker being assigned. A key element will be about ascertaining whether the sex that led to the pregnancy was consensual or whether the mother is particularly vulnerable.

She's 15 have a bit of compassion.

Ah sorry this happened at such an important time op.

glad she has her dad with her and hopefully it will be fairly quick for her as induction can take days.

ignore the posters commenting on her age etc etc they’ve clearly never been in such a situation

All the "old enough to get pregnant so she's old enough to deal with it" posts -

This is borderline misogynistic and shaming someone for having sex.

She didn't set out to 'get' pregnant. The girl had sex. As have probably all of us. She became pregnant - presumably that wasn't her intention. Maybe she didn't use protection, but maybe she did and it failed (I've been there, and I was a lot older).

Nor did the girl 'get' pregnant by herself. Funny that the posters who are saying this about the OP's daughter aren't mentioning that the father needs to grow up and deal with it ]

@lunarwhisper - I really hope the birth has gone/is going will and that you get to see your grandchild soon.

What an unkind judgemental post.

Where's your compassion for this child in a terribly tough situation labouring without her mum?

She wont be the only 15 yo having sex and not everyone thinks abortion is ok. I do, but not everyone does.

How would you like your grand/daughter treated if she was in this situation, would you want strangers on the internet bitching about her?

Good luck OP. Hope you end up with a healthy grandchild.

Exactly its like some posters want to go backwards a few generations when young unmarried mothers were shamed and hidden away.

Induction can take a long time, hopefully not for her sake but for does you could go in the later stages if your free from sickness for so may hours as per the hospitals policy

Any news op, are you a nan yet? 🥰🥰

Hope your compassion bypass wasn't too painful.

For goodness sake. Plenty of pregnant women of all ages get fed up in the later stages of pregnancy. There's no need to be so nasty about a vulnerable 15 year old.

You'd rather she risked a stillbirth as punishment? Because when an induction is being carried out for reduced fetal movements, that's what they are trying to avoid.

Just read that's the reason. Would have to be alone then if there's nobody else.

Could you try an emergency doula so she has a woman with her who can advocate and look after her during birth? Doula Access Fund might be able to help if you can call them tomorrow first thing? Good luck to your dd and congratulations :)

She is 15, still a child. Why the backlash towards the DD?

Go onto your local facebook group and make a post requesting advice from local people/a doula! Your poor daughter. 😭

If I have read it correctly, her father is with her!

The OP posted yesterday. It has probably already happened.

Waiting to hear when your dd has had her LO and all is well.

Quite. I (solicitor) used to act for a young person who was the beneficiary of a trust fund, set up with the compensation payment her adoptive parents received from the NHS trust who negligently allowed her teenage birth mother to labour without intervention. The midwife took the stance that the silly girl shouldn't have got herself into this predicament, and should stop making such a fuss. Turned out baby was stuck and was eventually born with cerebral palsy. A lovely, bright and caring person condemned to a lifetime in a wheelchair and with profound communication difficulties, because of the judgemental attitude of the medical professionals to the poor girl in labour.
Everyone in labour needs support and compassion - moreso when it's a young mother. This attitude stinks.

Hope your DD is doing well and you are feeling better OP

Hoping all is well OP please let us know

Hope all goes well OP

She’s being induced due to reduced movement. Would you push that back by 48 hours?