New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

Not in the UK

It was probably about 2 hours before OP starting giving directions 😂😂

If you miss the exit on a motorway, it can take forever to correct the mistake plus it is horrible to have to change lanes quickly as it is dangerous, so I get why he snapped. However he should be in the first flush of love/lust. It does suggest he might be starting to find you a bit irritating.

Tell us you’re single without telling us you’re single…

I think the problem here is that it's 3 months in. This is the best he is ever going to behave. Most people would be able to contain their annoyance at the 3 month mark, because you are still being your 'best self' to impress your potential partner.

It's good he apologised, but I'd be wary.

What kind of shit driver doesn’t use his own sat nav or an app on his phone on the dashboard?

Ditch this loser.

Driving can be stressful especially if you aren’t sure which way you’re going.
I’d let it go this time but if it becomes a habit then it’s a problem

I think you are being over sensitive - you have drip fed a lot of details that would justify his reaction - it does not necessarily mean it was focused on you and if it were well things do become irritating - you really weren’t doing a very good job - and he apologised so that’s good

@nomas
Maybe after hours of driving he was happy to have the op giving directions?
And you could equally say ‘what kind of shit driver doesn’t share the 12 hour drive’.

When you're driving and somebody else is navigating, there is nothing more annoying than the other person not knowing exactly where the car is at all times.

I don't use Sat Navs and I'm not a shit driver. By that logic, every single driver prior to this technology was a "shit driver". Just ridiculous. Some of us actually spend time preparing and planning out a journey using these things called a map. Then follow these things called road signs during the drive. It's not hard. At least we then don't get distracted by technology and pay attention to the actual road and road signs, like we're all supposed to.

So how long do you have had to have known him for it to NOT be too early to get frustrated at a very frustrating situation when someone else hasn't been concentrating enough to have gone wrong twice and extended your 12 hour journey by an extra 30 minutes? Six months? A year? Where's the arbitrary line?

Changing two seat bookings a handful of times is not even remotely the equivalent level of stress to the journey you have described. Plus you could very well have said: "Maybe it would be better for you to book the seats once you've worked out your diary." That's what I would have done.

FFS. What a princess.

What was new boyfriends reaction to the 30 minute detour due to your misdirection ? You are a poor navigator. You should be offering him an apology and admitting you hadnt been the best navigator. Its hard to drive navigate and maintain safety for 2 people all at the same time. Cut the poor bloke some slack for driving you about for 12 hours solid.

Well by that token he could very well have said "maybe ill take over watching where im going from here"

You were chatting and not on top of the directions - after you'd already added half an hour to the journey with a mistake? I'd let this go, but it's not too late to say you want to be clear that's not the way you expect to be spoken to in the future.

So either prepare beforehand with a map, or use a sat nav, or app. Don’t start ‘for fuck’s sakes’ ing the passenger.

Are you like this man, relying on others instead of technology?

I would keep an eye on that. DH is a “snapper” over little things and I fucking hate it. Puts me right on edge. I used to be quite submissive about it but perimenopause and twenty five years of tutting, sighing and fucksaking has given me a real low tolerance for it and I really bite back which funnily enough seems to shut him up quite quickly. Should have told him to shut the fuck up years ago.

And would that have gone down ok with you or would you then have been sniffy/sulky with him at the perceived notion that you're a crap navigator? Because you do seem touchier than the average bear.

Then after hours of driving, use a sat nav.

And why not ask OP why she didn’t drive.

You were navigating. You should be the one watching where you are not him, he's concentrating on everything else that driving requires - and for over 12 hours.

And you could have driven to give him a break

For fucks sake, let the poor man go and find someone lovely to date.

You don't deserve him

Wow
😳

After 12 weekends together? Hell no. Red flag.

Perhaps after 12 years and two kids together (and in the thick of life) it may be more understandable as life is stressful but the early months should be bliss! You should be wanting to please each other, be extra kind.

If that’s how he speaks to you now. What’s it going to be like once the honeymoon phase goes?

I would have answered with an “excuse me? Do that again and you can make your trips solo from now on”.

OP - if you’re getting bad vibes, end it. A wasted 12 weeks is better than getting too deep in and realising after a year that you’re with a nasty bully.