New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

Me too. Especially the people saying that they would leave someone if they said "for fucks sake"😂

"Manage his brand image"?

Who does that? If I'm dating someone, then I want them to like me, not some carefully curated version of me.

If they're going to dump me for a muttered "For fucks sake" after being sent in the wrong direction repeatedly, then better I find out now than in a years time.

I meant it annoys me when he puts it on when we're going somewhere we've been before. It absolutely is a useful tool.

I drive between here and my hometown regularly (quite a distance) and always stick it on, on mute, for traffic. I don't need it to get there, I know how, but it's helpful to see where I might be better off taking one of the alternative routes.

Unless I'm just popping 15 minutes down the road where there's limited options for avoiding traffic, I often do put it on for this reason.

You were definitely in the wrong. Keep your eyes on the map and road. It's all you had to day. It's dangerous to turn off suddenly.

I didn't ask that. Nor did i say i was perfect.

I asked where the misogyny was.

Try answering the question asked rather than going off about something never even mentioned.

i always have mine on, i use the Waze app. it has an accurate speedo, warns me of hazards, pot holes, police lurking, traffic flow, closed lanes...etc.. and allows me to have Spotify playing.

It was a life saver the other week when i was taking DS19 to college and a WHOLE roundabout was closed that i didn't know about, i knew a way around, but it would have added 20 mins onto the journey at least, Waze showed me a 5 minute route in the tap of a couple of buttons.

OP has told us she had a dodgy app. So what makes you different to OP? Why is she stupid and incompetent?

OP also said it was because they were talking, and she'd already misdirected him once that had taken them 30 minutes out of their way on a 12hr drive.

A second offence would definitely get a 'ffs' out of me.

If the app was dodgy from the get go I would have said that at the time. I would have found an alternative. I'd have looked at the steps / written directions. And if none of these things were available to me, I'd have made it very clear from the get go that I couldn't do what was being asked of me.

What I wouldn't have done is continued to do it badly and then been pissed off that this made it harder and irritated someone else. Had I done this, I'd expect to be called incompetent because I would have been.

But, most of my job is problem solving and forward thinking. So these things come naturally to me. OP didn't seem to have considered other ways of being useful, made a lot of mistakes and made her colleagues (to stick with the analogy) job a lot harder and more stressful.

So in this instance, she was incompetent. It's nothing to do with her being a woman (as I know you think we're being misogynistic). It's just that she didn't do her job well, didn't find alternatives to the dodgy tools and didn't communicate that there was issues with the tools, and allowed mistakes to repeatedly happen on her watch. That is incompetence. If I'd done that, I'd be incompetent too.

I couldn't agree more. I also keep a road atlas in the car.

So why is it solely OP’s fault they were talking?!

You’re talking about your skills in your job. Nothing OP has suggested she is a professional directions giver. She did the best she could with the poor tools she had at the time.

My job involves talent management and people development, I would hate to work with you, you have zero understanding of people having different skills.

because the navigator should still be paying attention to the sat nav, just like the driver should be driving.

If you can't multitask, concentrate on the important job, which is giving directions to the driver who is piloting the huge ass metal box you're going 70mph in.

Are you done trying so hard yet? you aren't going to win this one.

And you STILL haven't answered how any of this is misogynistic.

The misogyny is in the hypocrisy of people telling OP she shouldn’t expect perfection from a man and should accept his swearing but at the same time telling her she should have given perfect directions.

Try answering the question asked rather than going off about something never even mentioned.

Keep it polite or I will simply stop responding to you.

So he apologised after , and it was a 12 hour drive? You should have included that in the op.
Maybe swap next time and you do the exhausting extremely long drive.

Erm...no...YOU started with the job analogy, if you don't think they're comparable, don't compare them in the first place. You asked if I'd expect to be called incompetent if I made mistakes in my job and that's what I answered.

And I have those skills anyway, I've used them to GET my job and become good at it. I don't stop having those skills when I leave work for the day.

And why couldn't OP have thought things through when the app started lagging, rather than ignoring that, chatting and then continuing to make mistakes in direction giving? If she had thought for a second about what the problems were she could have found a solution instead of being mad that it caused problems and irritation elsewhere.

If she couldn't think of a solution to the problem in front of her, communication with her boyfriend would have meant he a) understood the issue and b) could have ALSO thought of solutions.

I'm glad you're not involved in my ability to do my job, because you have zero understanding of problem solving or where people may need to improve themselves!

People make mistakes - there's no need to be rude, snap, swear, lose tempers etc just don't be a dick

Oh for goodness sake this is a silly reply.

Without being there OP it's hard to say, depends on if you were messing about and not keeping your eye on the ball or if you were focused but it was complicated. If he was happily chatting away then he didnt see you being distracted as much of an issue.

But it sounds like disrespect - if it continues I would end it quickly. I would make clear that I won't be spoken to like that though.

I think actually nearly everyone has said that her lack of perfection is what prompted his... and if she doesn't like being 'ffs' at then she should try giving him the correct directions in a timely manner... and that his annoyance was understandable in the circumstances.

They were both lacking on this occasion, and he apologised.

Still not seeing the misogyny.

FTR.. i actually said it was an absolute nothing event and not worth 200 (now nearly 500) posts navel gazing about a 'ffs' in a slightly fraught moment that was apologised for.

This is nothing to do with misogyny.

It is about a tired and frustrated driver relying on a poor navigator.

I don't believe that anyone getting tired on a long drive would not become frustrated at the navigator getting it wrong, especially if it adds an extra half hour on to the journey.

Why on earth didn't the driver have his satnav in use?

Sounds like he was more frustrated with the situation than with you. Unless he snaps at you often for minor things I'd let it slide this once. Maybe explain to him you didn't like it & ask him not to do it again.

Why do you assume he had one? I don't.. i use my phone. And sometimes the person in the passenger seat is using theirs and giving directions.

I meant phone for satnav. Don't most people use Google maps or Waze on their phones instead of a dedicated satnav these days? I think you knew what I meant.

I think it odd that he didn't have the route on display. I like to see my route as well as hear directions.