New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

Sounds like you should be the one apologising to him

Thanks for the drip feed.

Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and [...]

This is where your thinking is going wrong. It is unreasonable to expect any new boyfriend to not have a certain flaw just because your ex didn't.
Your new boyfriend(s) will have different flaws, and different good points.

For all his faults (and your ex had big faults or he wouldn't be your ex), he had the patience of a saint to put up with you giving wrong or inadequate directions on a 12 hour drive and never once swearing about it.

Most people, including your new BF, after hours of driving will let slip a few swear words at having to rapidly respond to late directions on a motorway.

He acknowledged his behaviour. I don't see what point you needed to make.

Have you looked him up on Claire's Law just in case?

DH of 10 years would never snap at me like that. The most he would have said is “what are you like?” Or something similar in a light tone. If he was having a really bad day I might have got a “oh, love” in a resigned tone, but never a sharp tone. How you speak to each other matters. A man who snaps at a woman he’s been dating for 3 months will almost snap at you more when the honeymoon period is over. Bet your arse he’ll snap at your kids too if you choose to have them. I would throw this one back.

You sound an utter PITA

Some people can be utter twats driving cars but perfectly normal out of them

You're the red flag. Either pay attention to the road or don't offer to navigate. I don't see that he did anything wrong at all, especially since he apologized. You sound high maintenance.

I think the definition of "snap" needs looking at on this thread.

I’m afraid I’d have found your mistakes deeply deeply irritating so I’m with new boyfriend on this. Did you at least share the driving?! If not, YA (even more) BU!

It depends on how he said it, some people can swear without being aggressive but if you got aggressive vibes then best give it a miss.

I might have to break up with someone over no sat nav.
I’m seriously traumatized by old school maps and being the copilot.

I think as he apologised and it was a one off I think its ok .
Are you otherwise happy ?

Absolutely agree!

I also wouldn't consider that snapping. It sounded reasonable for the circumstances and his comments after were also reasonable.

I think 12 hours driving together is a testing situation.

And the definition of "at".

So many diligent, concentrated and professional pilots on this thread!

@Snappyg666

I think I'd call no harm, no foul on this one. But tuck it away for future reference.

Try using Waze for navigation. If the UK version is anything like the US version, it's aces!

DH and I were long time RVers. I can't count the times we've snapped at each other over giving or 'acting on' directions. FWIW there were many a muttered 'FFS!' or words to that effect over our decades of RVing. Unless it descends into nasty names, personal insults, or shouting (which it never did for us) I'd figure it as the stress of the drive.

Also, 12 hours in one day is too long behind the wheel for one person IMO. This drive should have been shared, even if you only took a turn midway for 2-3 hours.

I would of expected rather more than that from my usually calm DH of 16 years who has the patience of a saint.

In fact I remember him refusing to allow me to hold pizzas home after dropping them once in the car, he drove home AND held the pizzas! " Because I couldn't be trusted" 😂

It sounds like there was a few errors prior to nearly missing the exit, and driving brings out all manner in people you wouldn't normally see. It could of been dangerous yes, and I would let this one slide. 12 hours driving is bad enough without delays due to directions and a very near miss to another!

Fucking hell, I'm pissed off with you and I wasn't even in the car!

I think she does, otherwise she wouldn't have posted.

Yeah, contrary to most on this thread, i'd chuck this one back. I dont speak like this to my husband of 20 years and wouldnt tolerate this from him.

Its shows a lack of respect and defo a red flag in a boyfriend of 3 months.

Your skill at navigating isnt the issue here. I assume you were trying your best and even if you were shit id expect a decent level of tolerance and a bit of good humour.

Appreciate others disagree, but i don't like snarkiness. Stick with someone like this if you have a thick skin and are happy with sniping at each other over minor shit. Not my bag at all.

@Snappyg666 you can carry on along this road, or you can take the exit ramp. Your decision and your choice 👍

So more drip feeding then.

I don’t think your bf is the red flag…