New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

I think he was pretty restrained given it was a 12 hour drive and you’d already cocked up the directions. Why not just use Apple Maps?

Making a point about what? That you are crap at giving directions if you sent him the wrong way at a roundabout and then nearly missed the exit in the motorway?

He apologised so I don't know what point you felt you needed to make.

Understand his response. You were supposed to be giving directions and didn't. Seconds on a motorway could have had serious repercussions in terms of driver reaction

Driving brings out the animalistic side in some people! If he only does this when driving, I would give him some leeway. He was probably stressed. Still not great though that he spoke to you like that. If he speaks to you like this more and more, dump him!

Something over nothing imo. He got irritated because you didn't tell him junction was coming up and he asked. I'd mutter too. Then he apologised as well. Not sure what else you want with a 12 hour drive.

I was using Google Maps and it was lagging.

I am absolutely shocked and amazed at the amount of people on here who would be offended and upset about their partner muttering FFS to them. 🙄

The guy was stressing during a 12 hour drive and the OP had one job. Give directions! He is allowed to be annoyed and to express that annoyance and it doesn't even sound like the annoyance was even addressed to the OP, it was about the situation in general.

You weren't paying attention when you should have been - I'd have "fuck saked" you too.

Do you drive, out of interest?

Feel the OP wants validation how her new partner was mean - which is her prerogative on an online forum.

I can see both sides of the argument but it’s very much down to personal temperament and previous experiences how anyone would react to that situation.

if you’re not compatible as people just let him go and find someone else. You’ll do both of you a favour.

I totally agree with you

What else do you require from him, given that you are still brooding on it?

To me, this’d be a very tiny flareup from a chap whom you go on to reveal as a pretty self-aware and decent type.
After all, you weren't on top of an important brief in the car, and that weighs just as heavily as a moment’s snappy muttering (though ‘heavy’ is overstating both.) A proper apology such as he offered is a good mark in his favour.

Then what was the point of OP being the navigator?

pretty sure on a 12 hour drive it’s reasonable to share the load no?

Does anyone live in the real world ? We are all human beings ,,can't say boo without it being 'abuse' ,,it's just normal every day couple stuff op .
This is a non even unless it's accompanied by other disturbing behaviour.

Let me guess you don’t drive.
Having to quickly change lanes and exit sharply is horribly unpleasant and dangerous!
Two mistakes on one trip…not good.
Sat nav might be needed if you continue this relationship.

And you were wrong not to map read correctly

He sounds a nice guy

I think it shows aggression from him and an inability to control his temper. I'd have a poor opinion of someone who swore at me in those circumstances. But plenty of people think swearing and shouting at each other in a relationship is totally fine.

So half a story then…

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

"FFS" being muttered when you have to switch lanes last minute isn't aggressive and isn't even really directed at a person, more a situation.

It's very different to telling a partner to f off or shouting at them.

He didn't swear AT her though, he swore at the situation. Plenty of people say FFS when things go wrong in life, doesn't mean they are aggressive or can't control their temper. I wouldn't put up with being sworn at either, but that's not what happened here.

You should have been paying more attention - if you can't handle doing the directions and chatting then tell him that.

I would have said the same - it’s super annoying when you miss an exit and generally adds a lot to the journey. Not out of a dig at you - more the situation itself

I wouldn't either. He was a bit irritated and I think it's understandable.

I thought Waze and Google maps had signalled the end of relationship break ups due to navigating. In the old days even the strongest, calmest relationships were severely tested in these circumstances. I wouldn't read anything into this except use technology to navigate in future!

Christ, surely everyone uses sat nav nowadays. If his car hasnt got sat nav just use Google directions. Where you sat with a map or something?