New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

I think you're the red flag and he should run for the hills.

I agree.

It is the driver's responsibility to check with the navigator in enough time before a junction so that they don't have to swerve across lanes to an exit they saw coming a mile ago.

Totally disagree. On a motorway, the driver does not need to be saying to the navigator at the approach to each junction "are we coming off here". A competent navigator, especially one that has also passed a driving test, should be able to advise in plenty of time that the next junction is needed and then give a reminder say half a mile to a mile out when the signs start.

That’s bonkers
they should ask before every junction if they’re coming off or not?

My dh gets annoyed if I get distracted from naviagating cos we've been chatting. He expects me to keep an eye on the navigating as he does with the driving whilst chatting.
In our first 3 months of dating, back in 1983, I sent us north instead of south on a motorway. That didn't go down well 🤣
You wait til you've had 38 years of wrong turns/traffic jams/getting lost then you'll really know swearing & snapping!

The posters on here pearl clutching over him apparently 'snapping', i wonder is it just because he used 'The F word'? Would you say the same thing if he had gone 'oh fiddlesticks'?
Most adults say the word Fuck, especially during times of frustration.

No because whoever says the words fiddlesticks in a pissed off tutting way at someone else? No one. If I say fucksake at someone I’m most certainly snapping at them and showing my immense irritation towards them. If I say fiddlesticks I’m mildly annoyed with myself.

I swear like a trooper but not wanting to be snapped at or swore at so early in a relationship isn’t really pearl clutching.

You should be making it easy on yourself

I'm sorry @Snappyg666 but what the actual?

He didn't 'snap' - he muttered
It wasn't 'at' you - it was to himself, expressing frustration at a situation that would test the patience of any sane human
He drove for 12 hours in one day, a timeframe extended by your ineptitude at navigation. You then almost fail to prevent a situation that could have extended that timeframe even further
He then apologised, unprompted - an apology I don't even think was due seeing as he didn't actually snap at you.

How on earth some people function in day to day life when they're taking offence at some of these non issues is actually beyond me.

I can understand why he got annoyed but why would you agree to being sally satnav, tell him to use Google, a driving app or a satnav the next time, it sounds mentally draining, it not only tells directions but speed and hazards

@Snappyg666 good grief! You’re on busy roads, “you’re” navigating, you have to have your wits about you! If you can't, you need to tell him. I’m not surprised he was exasperated with you. You could have potentially caused an accident. If there’s another long trip planned, buy a sat nav, or use the one on your phone, OR, maybe drive yourself!
Poor bloke 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'd have been so irritated with my Dh and vice versa. I think we both would have snapped at the other in that situation and then quickly forgotten about it. Having said that, 3 months in, I wouldn't have tolerated it.

Your EX-boyfriend, surely @Snappyg666 ?

he’s showing you who he is. He’s like this and you’re only 12 weeks in?

nope… he’s got to go.

At 3m in, a “keeper” would not have even snapped…

Except he didn't snap, he muttered to himself.
Just so I know at what point is it okay to snap? 6 months? A year?

Were your lives at risk from the ticket purchase allocate and delete and reallocate?

Had the driver not asked you on the motorway at the time if the approaching exit was the exit to be taken, when might you have given him notice to prepare to take that exit?

A potentially lethal situation.

So not the same as swithering over theatre tickets at all.

Only you can know if he's meeting your standards

Evading. As if the applied term is relevant.

You know you’re in the wrong and now you’re nit-picking when so many of us are pointing it out to you.

Of course he's not her partner! He's her boyfriend of 3 months! That's a long way from being a life partner.

Did you ask the driver for help?
Did you explain that you weren’t sure.
Did you ask the driver to pull over so the two of you could check the map together?

Or did you let him continue driving (overseas?) even though you weren’t sure about the next driving transaction, and even though the equipment you were using was lagging?

If he’s mentioned this to any of his friends I imagine many of them will point out to him how useless you are in an ordinary situation and how you let an ordinary situation become dangerous rather than admit you aren’t sure.

He should dump you 🚩

Relevance?

There's a big difference between a partner and a new boyfriend so it's very relevant. There are things I would put up with or work through with my husband of almost 20 years that I wouldn't put up with from a new boyfriend.

Utter codswallop.

It’s the navigator’s job to (clue: it’s in the role title) NAVIGATE.

The driver does not need to ask navigational questions of a (competent) navigator.

He might have been feeling a bit wound up by concentrating on his driving (a good thing, especially on the motorway!) so might have been a bit more irritable than usual. I wouldn't worry about that one incident but watch out for any more.