New boyfriend snapped at me

[Snappyg666]

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

I use my phone as a satnav for traffic updates, especially when I am driving to work as the M1 can be a nightmare. I then know to divert through Wakefield.

Being able to memorise a map for a long distance isn't difficult when you are only driving on two or three interconnecting motorways, but it is often the fiddly bit at the other end of a journey where I am unfamiliar with the roads that can mean I need help from a satnav.

I can still map read though.

Absolutely. That reminds me of the first time I used a sat nav. Son was visiting a friend in the middle of an estate so dd put it in her sat nav it was brilliant until it came to going back home. I knew the way but couldn't shut it up and had to take the battery out 😂 I don't do well being told what to do.

Good thing not driving and giving directions with my other half! He even shouts/ argues with the satnav. BTW We've been together decades.

Fgs, grow up...you were supposed to be telling him where to go, when driving you need to know a little in advance what lane to be in, or when to turn etc.....

pray tell.. what exactly is misogynistic about calling a woman stupid and incompetent, when they were being check notes stupid and incompetent?

A man would also be called stupid and incompetent in a similar situation.

Gender related prejudice has zero bearings on it.

Omfg are you even in a relationship if you’ve never snapped at each other? Where do these perfect people come from!

Agree 👌

I think context is important tbh. A 12 hr drive and you missed properly navigating, not once but multiple times and added 30 minutes to the journey by accident, which all put him under pressure. I think in that situation muttering fuck sake under your breath is understandable, especially with independent reflection and a genuine apology after.

I think there's a difference between a quiet 'fuck sake' when you're stressed and 'fuck you' and I also wouldn't class this as him snapping at you to be honest. I'd have been apologising for messing up the navigation so much.

If its a pattern of behaviour then that's one thing but as a one off I'd let this slide and I wouldn't be trying to make a point out of it. I completely understand not wanting to miss any red flags but he's only human as well. Plus people do have different attitudes about swearing in general. I wouldn't have minded a fuck sake but a fuck you and I'd be dropping him like a hot rock.

Get over it. Your boyfriend was under pressure as hw was driving and obviously you were approaching the exit and there wasnt time to dither over it! You sound like a snowflake to be honest and your making a big deal out of nothing!

Not always the case. Mine did snap 3 months in when I sent us north instead of south on a motorway. As it was a motorway I used regularly it was justified 🤣He has been a keeper.
Fair play to those who smugly claim they have a brain, are adults & can read signs. We'd both get lost in a hamlet so satnavs have proved to be one of the best inventions ever & have saved us time & petrol!

Jesus Christ, people really do expect absolute ✨perfection✨ these days, don’t you?? Wow

You've never met them because they're stuck on the motorway

I think he behaved well in the circumstances, but if you don't like it then you aren't compatible and that's ok.

This whole thread is such a mountain out of a molehill.

It has nothing to do with whether they are in a relationship or what sex they are.

It is about a tired and frustrated driver who didn't think to use their satnav, relying on a poor navigator. That's all. I would use a satnav on a 12 hour drive as well. It's common sense.

I can read signs, map read etc. but the sat nav is useful for traffic, if there's a road closure or diversion I wasn't expecting etc

It doesn't have to take away from your skill set. It's just an additional support tool. There's a route I do regularly between home and my family, it's a good distance/time driving. I could probably do it in my sleep (never would) but only if there's no issues, which these days is rare. Rather than having to try and find an alternative route on a map, which may also be experiencing issues I can't see, the satnav has the ability to reroute me and if I decide I don't like this route I use signs and a map to decide for myself.

They don't just make us all sheep doing as we're told (although there is some people who follow blindly and they scare me). They can just add to your support tools.

And you're never to old to use something helpful.

And yet, ironically you all expect perfection from the OP, even happy for her to be called stupid and incompetent for making a couple of navigation errors on a 12 hour journey with a dodgy Google Maps app.

I am a nervous driver going to new locations and there is nothing worse than someone who gives wrong directions off a roundabout then fails to tell in a reasonable time that they are exiting the motorway so i would also be very frustrated and say FFS. He has apologised I would let this go and see for future reactions

So you never make mistakes? Because by your logic every time you make a mistake at work, your colleagues should call you stupid and incompetent to your face.

One of my first long distance drives the satnav kept trying to take me off WAY before I knew I needed to be off the motorway. I wanted to stay on for ease as I'd not long since started driving distances on my own so I kept ignoring it but it drove me mad.

These days I just mute it and glance at it occasionally to see whether it's doing anything weird and wonderful and decide whether I should listen to it or not. It does have traffic info now though, which it didn't back then so it just wanted a different route than I did at that point. Nowadays there's usually a reason it wants to take off somewhere mental looking.

If you’re a nervous driver, you should use a sat nav.

One mistake, no. Multiple over the course of a project that made it much harder, yeah I'd expect them to tell me I was rubbish.

Even given dodgy tools?

You should have apologized for not paying attention.

If I was given dodgy tools I'd raise it as an issue before it got to the point it was my fault.

Because I take accountability for things that are my responsibility.

However, can you REALLY compare a job someone does professionally to a relationship?

I do if i am on my own but I dont like the distraction if I have a passenger. Tbf it was usually my EX who was a driver who did this 😂