Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To insist on moving DH and the DC to New York?

1000 replies

TheCoralBear · 11/01/2026 21:11

Me, DH and our DC (11 year old DS and 14 year old DD) were all born in the UK and live in London. I’ve performed in musical theatre (and I work as an usher in a theatre when I’m not performing) my whole life and it’s all I’ve ever known. Usually I perform in west end musicals here in the UK however I’ve now been offered a role on Broadway which would obviously involve moving to New York. I want to accept the role and move us all to New York but DH and the DC are dead set against it and won’t even consider it. I really don’t want to turn down the Broadway role as it’s an excellent opportunity for my career. DH are the DC are refusing to even consider moving though. DH has even suggested I go to New York alone and he stays here with the children but I’m not going to just abandon my children like that so that’s why I’ve suggested we all move to New York but DH and DC keep insisting that they don’t want to go. Would I be unreasonable to insist that we are all going to New York and that’s the end of it? DH says he doesn’t care if it’s an excellent opportunity for my career but he is not considering moving to New York, he is dead set against it.

OP posts:
CountryBumpkin22 · 11/01/2026 21:12

No way in hell would I be considering taking children to USA at the moment. Especially if you’ve got female children

Shamesame · 11/01/2026 21:12

Can your DH work in America? If not does a broadway salary mean you can afford to live in New York and support 3 other people?

how long is your contract for?

VeryQuaintIrene · 11/01/2026 21:13

He's made you a fair offer - you follow your dreams in NYC and he and the children stay in the UK. It's not without difficulties but it's the one that has the most positives.

PhantomAfternoonTea · 11/01/2026 21:13

Team DH here, who would want to live in New York in this day and age? Go by yourself if the role's that important to you, presumably it would only be for a few months.

TomatoSandwiches · 11/01/2026 21:13

YAB soooooooooooo U.

Go by yourself, be the main character for a bit and then come back to your family.

Plankton89 · 11/01/2026 21:13

No, you should not force your kids to move to New York.

TheAutumnCrow · 11/01/2026 21:14

Silly windup

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 11/01/2026 21:14

Is this a reverse?

gamerchick · 11/01/2026 21:14

No way I'd take my kids to the US OP. Not a chance.

You have a choice to either turn it down or go alone until you're done. See it as an adventure maybe. The world is small with all the tech we've got.

Squirrelchops1 · 11/01/2026 21:15

There's no way I'd even countenance a holiday in USA right now, let alone moving there.

TheCoralBear · 11/01/2026 21:15

DH would more than likely be able to find work in New York. There are lots of job opportunities for him in New York in his line of work.

I’m leaving the children here with him without me, I’m not just going to abandon my children so that’s why I want us all to move to New York.

When I went through the audition process DH said he was open to it and wanted to move and now he’s dead set against it and refusing to even consider it.

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 11/01/2026 21:15

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 11/01/2026 21:14

Is this a reverse?

Or the plot of a rom com

saraclara · 11/01/2026 21:15

How would you feel if your DH had told you that he intends moving you all to Australia, like it or not?

Hobnobswantshernameback · 11/01/2026 21:15

What role have you been offered OP?
Im intrigued 🤔🙄

gamerchick · 11/01/2026 21:15

TheAutumnCrow · 11/01/2026 21:14

Silly windup

Loads about tonight.

TokyoSushi · 11/01/2026 21:15

You can’t force them…

How long is the contract for? Would you earn enough to support everybody? Would you want to live in Trump’s America?

NotMeAtAll · 11/01/2026 21:16

I love New York and it's a great opportunity, but you can't force them all to move.

popcornandpotatoes · 11/01/2026 21:16

Do you watch the news? Seriously moving your children to USA is a mad idea at the moment . If it's your dream you go and do it

Peridoteage · 11/01/2026 21:16

No way in hell would i move my family to the USA right now!

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 11/01/2026 21:16

TheCoralBear · 11/01/2026 21:15

DH would more than likely be able to find work in New York. There are lots of job opportunities for him in New York in his line of work.

I’m leaving the children here with him without me, I’m not just going to abandon my children so that’s why I want us all to move to New York.

When I went through the audition process DH said he was open to it and wanted to move and now he’s dead set against it and refusing to even consider it.

And get a green card? You on a huge salary?

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 11/01/2026 21:16

Would I fuck move my kids to America. Are you insane?

Fullofthejoysofspring · 11/01/2026 21:16

How old are the children @TheCoralBear and how long is the contract for?

dudsville · 11/01/2026 21:16

How old are your kids? I'm guessing this would be an estimate, but how long would you be away?

saraclara · 11/01/2026 21:17

When I went through the audition process DH said he was open to it and wanted to move and now he’s dead set against it and refusing to even consider it.

Ah, now that feels unfair. Letting you go through the auditions saying he was happy to do it and then changing his mind, must feel like a kick in the teeth. But you still can't drag your family there if they're all unwilling.

TheCoralBear · 11/01/2026 21:17

The initial contract is for 18 months but it’s likely I could extend if they continue the show or I could try and find another role in New York or we could come back to the UK.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.