Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend

[Oneisnotamused]

……..or even worse, your brother or your sister 🤮. I think most long-term marriages end up with this problem - I know some people are still happily shagging after 30+ years but……..how do long-term marriages survive this particular ick?

Weird post. Long-term marriage is like shagging your long-term friend and sexual partner. Many close friendships become sexual relationships: shagging a friend isn't weird or taboo. It's nothing like shagging a sibling!

After 20 years, I still actually fancy my husband. That’s how.

Just when you think you've seen the hottest takes possible on the internet along comes this.

Have you actually shagged your brother or sister then to be able to compare?

Most odd.

Because we know every inch of each other and coming together is gentle, harmonious and natural. I can't imagine shagging a new bloke and him not knowing what makes me tick and vice versa 🤮
Still happily shagging after 36 years....

Really weird view of things. Having sex with DH is nothing like having sex with a friend or a sibling (not that I’ve had sex with either).

And there’s a simple solution if you feel differently - split up with your long term partner and seek casual sex with people you’re sexually attracted to.

Very strange, I think that’s a you problem

Yes, still fancy my husband after 35 years. I think it helps that we don’t have children!

I imagine this largely happens when you never fancied your spouse / or no longer fancy them.

Having shagged my brother, my best friend and my DH I can categorically tell you they are all different.

Anyway, off to therapy.

Having had sex with several of my friends, I’ll still be pretty damn happy if that’s how my sex life with DH feels in a couple of decades’ time. I mostly only sing karaoke with my brother though, which in all honesty I’m less keen to be doing with DH.

I’m sure there are some long term relationships which end up as two people mostly only staying together for financial security and because they don’t want to be alone; but it’s not true of many others, where both partners still love and enjoy sex with each other. If that’s not the case for yours then you need to actively take steps to nurture the relationship and your sexuality; or agree that it’s just not working any more because you feel “icky” and go your separate ways.

What should long term marriage be like if not shagging your best friend? The sibling stuff is weird. Could OP be getting off on this?

The mystique often goes and raising children has amazed me how it changes people and relationships or has the ability to in some circumstances. You're not alone in feeling this way, although this thread might tell you otherwise! I have no answers however.

I have been with Dh for 30 years, still fancy him, still love spending time together. It is shagging your best friend and that is how it should be, he is my best friend. There has never been an ick to get over.

Personally, I don’t see much wrong with two people staying together when the lust (or even romantic love) has died, on the basis they’ve spent 30-40 years as a partnership, providing they enjoy each other’s company, respect and like one another, show that they appreciate the other person in other ways, and have built a life together.

Isn't that the entire point? That it's someone you love, like and have fun with, and the added bonus of getting to have regular sex?

It's obviously the case that some people lose attraction for their partners over time, but I don't think it's inevitable. I've been with my husband for 15 years and no ick here, still think he's gorgeous and still want to have sex with him.

Sex with my (very )long term partner just gets better and better the longer we are together.

I’ve never shagged a sibling or a friend, so I can’t compare, but the thought of doing either of these makes me want to be sick. Comparing the two is really very strange.

Excuse me what

Very strange post. I've made babies with this guy. He's special. I still fancy him after 45 years.

I have been with DH 25 years and still fancy him. It doesn't have to be boring, in fact IMO it keeps getting better. We also have kids so it's not that. What particularly has given you the ick? Maybe focus on understanding that rather than blaming how long you have been together.

I don't think LTRs are for you op! Nothing wrong with that

I think that poster is having a laff! 😆

😂

I wouldn't know what shagging my siblings is like.

😆