Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

I'm sorry OP. You made it very clear what you'd like and he couldn't do that one simple thing for his pregnant wife. What an arsehole.

he sounds like a sack of shit, OP

This is awful. I would seriously consider leaving him. Sometimes presents are delayed so you get something else as well. It's not funny, it's contempt.

Part of my ending things with my ex was when he let me and his longed for newborn son come down on christmas morning to nothing because he hadn't had time. The whole year of time!

Actions. That's what counts and he had the nerve to laugh ...

If he's acting like this because you're pregnant that's really nasty, he let you go through 10 yrs of discomfort and disappointment only to go into a sulk because the baby means you don't want sexy underwear. Go to your Mums and stay there Op, what he does next will tell you all you need to know

Ah ffs don’t be a twat

That's ok then if men are like that for Christmas 🙄 What does "guidance" mean = do it for him?! Back in the real world he's out of order, especially this Christmas

@SpookyTeacup Happy Christmas! Congratulations on your pregnancy -l also had a miracle pregnancy after IVF.

It’s never about the gifts, but the lack of thought and care. Order yourself something comfy xxx

He sounds awful tbh .

At this point I'd have been happy if he'd gifted me a free pen. Its always just been us so we've still done Christmas because we're still a family even if we dont have children, so why should we miss out on family time? Thats meant getting each other a couple of small bits or just the one thing if it cost a bit of ££.

Its the lack of thought, care and fucks thats upset me the most.

Love this

I hope you haven't given him any gifts @SpookyTeacup. If he complains you could call him a little baby. I'm not usually one to recommend tit-for-tat, but he is behaving horribly and this needs to be made clear to him. I'm sorry your Christmas Day has been like this.

What a horrible man! He should be spoiling you. He could have got you some comfy pjs, a gift card to buy a sexy outfit to make you feel good once you’ve had the baby, and some perfume so you can feel good now.

Do not give him the presents you’ve bought him. Return them or sell them on Vinted and treat yourself to something nice.

Go to your mum’s and forget about this prick. He’s not your partner, your team mate, or your husband. Tell him he needs to think about whether he’s up to the job and how he can get his shit together. Honestly, if you go home Boxing Day evening and he hasn’t got you a bloody big bunch of flowers and some kind of gift, I’d be binning him off. What an arsehole!

That's fucking awful. Your poor DS.
What a poor excuse of a man.
Well done for making him your ex.

I've had years of that in the past from my DP; birthdays, mothers day, Xmases (how can you get daffodils wrong for mother's day (I got tulips)) but I can not complain today although things haven't been good between us recently so I think that's why I got what I asked for.
Again, not complaining. And I was late ordering his main present but I've shown him what's coming and he's more than happy with it.
I don't feel so bad for not having it today, he had a little something to open this morning.

Wtaf?!?! This would have been the point I walked out on him.

You’re not being unreasonable, your partner is a shitebag. Does he disregard your feelings on other days of the year too?

I used to have a partner that never got me Christmas or birthday gifts. Sometimes he got me stuff the week after but only once something on the actual day to open. Always an excuse: “it didn’t arrive”, “I’ve been so busy at work” blah blah blah. I wouldn’t have needed much, a book or a bag of nice coffee or anything at all. But no, he didn’t care
and it always hurt. In fact more than that it was quite humiliating, especially when friends would ask “what did X give you?”

Now I’m single I buy myself wonderful gifts and shower myself in the love I deserve!

Merry Christmas OP. Don’t take his lack of care personally, it’s a him problem and not a you problem!! Xxxx

It's not the present itself, is it, it's that he's demonstrating how little he cares for op's feelings.

Wow. I am so sorry, that is really shit. I don’t know if I’d be able to stay in a relationship like this. I doubt it’s going to get better when your baby arrives. Sending massive hugs. Go and put your feet up and order yourself something you’d never usually get for yourself. Fuck him!

Why wouldn’t he be?
I don’t understand your point.

He’s done the bare minimum and still F-ed that up. I like to be independent but in pregnancy I think you should be treated like a queen. You’re growing a human from scratch FFS! If you have the option to get to your parents, do it. It’s not an overreaction but if you regret it slightly at a later date you always can just blame it on hormones. Also suspect you’re so upset because the lack of gift is the thin end of the wedge.

This is vile behaviour. And sounds intentional. Be careful, op. He doesn't sound like a man I'd want around my baby

Oh that's so crap. My DH many years ago gave me total crap one year - a sewing basket and a gallon of car shampoo. I was seething, clearly last minute crap from Woolworths. I ended up exploding in the evening after seething all day (and having his parents and their dogs who pissed inside the house for the day) and actually locked him out and went to bed. He never did that again.

I wish you all the best with your new baby.

he sounds very unpleasant.

maybe a Christmas present to yourself would be to ltb and live happily ever after, just you and your baby

To lock someone out of their home for not buying you a gift sounds abusive. That's vile behaviour. No wonder he made sure not to let that happen again.

He got you nothing for Xmas?
Not even a box of chocolates or cheap calendar???

I am not a materialistic person but buying a small token gift to show appreciation to the person you love is hardly a difficult task.

My teen has just given me a gift bag with wrapped presents and a card that she’s used her little amount of pocket money to save up and buy for me because she wanted to show me her appreciation.
Your grown adult partner with a FT job couldn’t even do the same - that’s shocking!

I hate to say this (it may have already been mentioned) but sometimes men show their true colours when their DP gets pregnant/has a baby and unfortunately I don’t think this will get any better.
I think it’s jealousy because your attention would have been on him and now it’s having to be shared on something else.

I would seriously reconsider this relationship.
Not just for the lack of presents but the attitude towards you too.

Yeah I agree that is abusive and I hope he rang the police like we would advise a woman to do.