Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

Get a refund for his present and treat yourself - unless he hands you his debit card and tells you to buy whatever you want online.

That's it, dig the boot in. Do you feel better about yourself now?

As a lot of women discover, these men often don't show their true colours until pregnancy. It's quite a common issue, so maybe keep your sneering to yourself given she can't very well now return her very wanted baby, can she?

Kick a woman when she's down, eh 🙃 my baby is an absolute miracle. I'm waiting on a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis and was told even with IVF I'd be lucky to have a 3% chance. This was my only surviving embryo. Anyone who questions her existence can seriously fuck right off.

There's a way to say that without being a nasty bitch. You failed.

@Didimum do us all a favour and remove yourself from this thread. Your presence is very much unwanted. Go be a nasty bitch elsewhere 👍

I would say it’s just a present - men do very little towards christmas and they need some guidance.

I know you feel unappreciated, which is why this is, so talk to him, tell him it’s not the lack of gift but the thoughtlessness of it.

You are carrying his baby and he needs to look after you so you have the energy to look after the baby.

The way he keeps laughing when you mention him going to the shops makes me think he has (hopefully) actually got you something and is for some reason trying to make you think it’s not come yet. I don’t know why people do this. If there’s no present then don’t give him his x

@SpookyTeacup I sincerely hope he has got you something to open tomorrow!! I would hide his presents and if he isn't forthcoming with a gift then I'd absolutely return his.

One Christmas my DH got me nothing. Not even anything from our 3 kids. When my parents asked what I'd got I felt so embarassed saying nothing. The ONLY gift I unwrapped was a can opener that my dad bought me as a joke as mine was utterly useless. As much as I loved watching the kids open their presents (that I sorted) I realised how little he actually cared about me. He has been skating on very thin ice ever since.

Morning update: no present and when I got visibly upset he called me a little baby

I'm so sorry that he isn't being thoughtful and kind- basics, that is all you're asking for. Especially when he has made you cry, he could apologise and give you a hug at the very least.

You said he has been an arsehole since you've been pregnant. Acknowledge that. Sorry, my red flag hackles went up, my ex did the same and my pregnancy wasn't how I wanted because of his antics. I didn't feel supported, loved, he wasn't thoughtful- he did the same with no present also, and his behaviour continued to get worse. You've been through a lot with your IVF and fertility journey, you deserve a pair of pj's!!!!! Minimum! Go to your mum's this morning and try to enjoy your day. Remember, by next Christmas you will have the most amazing gift and will be full of love. You've got this.

Im so sorry to read this. Your reaction sounds completely normal and he’s a shit. Don’t let him undermine how you feel. You absolutely deserve a Christmas present.

I was convinced he was joking and would spoil you today so I’m flabbergasted you haven’t been given a present. Take the day off being his wife and do whatever you want to do to be happy.

I’m so sorry to read this. I hope you and your baby leave him and make a beautiful life together. You both deserve so much better.

Yikes! Decent men don’t need guidance and mothering.
Women shoulder enough responsibility when children arrive without having to be responsible for a shit husband too.

OP I’m sorry he’s like this. I hope you have a lovely day despite him, and maybe consider having some ducks in a row plans in place for the future.

She told him exactly what she wanted. There needed to be no thought on his part. One thing.
I understand that sometimes we may have high expectations that others can't meet. But I think her bar is extremely low as it is. To not get her anything at all is disrespectful.
I also think it is time that men weren't given these excuses as to why they don't need to adult.

That is totally shit @SpookyTeacup Please buy yourself the comfiest jammies you can find. Sending you Christmas love and all the best for you and your baby.

I’m sorry but you do sound a bit needy. Any adult that is in the slightest bit bothered about presents needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

I genuinely couldn’t care less whether I ever got a present as an adult.

He sounds utterly useless and nasty to boot. He should be spoiling you rotten not calling you names. Return something of his and buy some lovely PJs and have a good think about your future with this pig.

Red flags on this one op. Keep vigilant. Sounds like hes starting to change now your pregnant. Stay safe. Im sorry to say, from what youve written about his effort/computer gaming, hes not going to step up once baby is here. You most likely will be doing this by yourself. His attitude already stinks. Does he work/do his share of household chores etc?

Try not to let it spoil your day but I’m sorry you’re upset. Did you give him a present? I hope not!

I don’t think so and such a shitty thing to say to someone feeling very unloved.

Leave him. Get to yours mums now.

You really need to reconsider this marriage long term for more reasons than one.
It's wonderful you are pregnant but after so long of waitting maybe his behaviour is changing because it is now reality and life is going to change so much for both of you.
He's possibly worried /scared or thinking he won't be #1 priority in your life anymore, nor should he be. I'd be concerned with his attitude that you will end up with all the baby care once the novelty wears off.
Want to be wrong, but I get a bad vibe about this, teasing you in a nasty way about your present or lack of, calling you a big baby when you're upset, and probably buying lingerie for you , who does that when their partner is heavily pregnant and self conscious of how she looks?
The gaming thing would bother me too, it's okay but how often will baby need a feed or nappy change when he's in the middle of an 'important' part and can't leave the game on pause?
Just a few things I'd be concerned about it you were my d telling me about this.