Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

Yeah how needy of you to hope your partner would give you one whole present. A whole ONE. So needy. 🤨

I think you've missed the point. It's not really about the present. Imagine calling her a little baby on Christmas morning when she is sat with nothing DESPITE BEING GIVEN EVEN MORE CHANCES TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION. I hate him for you OP you poor girl. You aren't being a baby. He is a horrible man.

Whilst I agree in general, in this case It's not just about presents though, there is more going on before christmas and will do so afterwards .

For fucks sake....

Yet ANOTHER man who can't cope with the idea that his wife having a baby means it isnt all about him anymore.

Now is the time to start planning @SpookyTeacup because this is the thin end of the wedge. Within a couple of months of the birth he will be whining about being "neglected" (ie, not getting as much sex as he wants) and leaving literally everything to you because you are on ML and its therefore your job.

I am so sorry, but ask me how I know.......

That's nice for you but what it adds to this thread I dont know. The OP is being shown that her inconsiderate partner doesn't care and has kind of gone out of his way to show his contempt. I can't stand these grown adult women who have to piss on others' chips because they don't care about gifts. Many (normal) people do. And it would not have been hard to pop to sainsburys, get a nice pair of snuggly PJs and a chocolate bar ffs. Gift giving is a love language. There is a joy in it. OP I am so sorry your partner is being such a shit.

I agree with you. Some people are so terribly unkind.

OP, he does sound like an absolute shit. I hope you manage to find some joy and love today and that you and your beautiful new baby make 2026 a better year, ideally without your (D)H.

Good grief - a pair of PJs. Can be picked up in most supermarkets. Nothing complicated, fancy or trivial or greedy. That’s really mean of him.

This! My partner is a single dad and doesn't need guidance on what to buy his child. He's also a chef and got all the dinner ingredients without guidance. It's amazing what some men are allowed to get away with.

LTB and build a nice life for you and your girl. This will only get worse when the is here OP and you don’t have to deal with it. Merry Christmas, sending so much love xx

Oh OP. Has he done this at Christmas before? Sadly pregnancy can make a man reveal his true colours, and no gifts + an escalating pattern of being horrid to you is a big red flag. He should be literally worshipping the ground you walk on and supporting you every step of the way at the moment. Be mindful of this, and maybe have a plan in place to not be with him....just in case

Op why are you with him? Is this the sort of dad you want for your baby?

Pack yourself a bag and go to your Mum's. Don't spend another minute with someone who is determined to make you feel shit. It's bad enough that he's fucked up on the present - but to then double down and be so unpleasant to you when you're upset is just cruel.

Take a couple of days at your Mum's and have a careful think about whether this is a man you want to continue a relationship with. He sounds very selfish and unfeeling.

Aw he's not nice is he?

Anyway, hard as it might be, try not to let his crap overshadow your day. Like you say, plan yourself a nice gift on Boxing day and fuck him off today.

Bit concerned that you think he'd buy you sexy lingerie after you've asked him not to. That's persistent of him. I wouldn't like that.

Go to your mums, don’t give him any gifts. You sound amazing to have got through 10 years of infertility and losing 8 stone. He on the other hand sounds like a waste of space and cruel to boot.

This.

You take care of yourself and let your mum take care of you too. Switch off your phone and ignore the twat for a couple of days at least.

If I could give you a nice present right now you’d be wearing those PJs already.xx

You poor darling. I am alone with cats today and have more love and affection. Return the gits presents having taken photos “ this is what you could have had”, go to your mums and plan a new year maybe losing what I guess is maybe eighty kilos of dead weight? (Other sizes of useless husbands are no doubt available).

Go be with your Mum. Get rid of this tosser

I am sorry op. That is crap. He couldn’t be bothered enough to pick up a pair of pjs. It does sound like what he ordered for you is coming from China. I hope you have a lovely day with your Mum.

Oh my god, what a dickhead - he could have gone to M&S and gotten you a nice pair of cozy pyjamas and a fluffy dressing gown or something, he had a few days notice that your present wouldn’t arrive on time.

His reaction is awful, I’m so sorry.

I think that’s unfair, most couples get eachother something to open on Christmas Day. DH and I aren’t big on presents but if I’d asked him for a comfy pair of maternity pyjamas when I was 30 weeks pregnant I’d be upset if he’d not bothered too.
It just speaks of a wider problem that OPs DH is being generally thoughtless and selfish through this pregnancy and she’s worried about the future

Just coming across your thread. So sorry to read this. He doesn't sound like a nice person tbh. Can you spend the day with your mum?

Congratulations!! on your miracle pregnancy. So lovely you will soon have a baby after 10 years of trying.
I hope you find some happiness today.

Please leave now and go to be with your mother.

As has been picked up by several PP, this is a pattern of behaviour with men who become abusive. It will only escalate, give yourself the real gift of a few days to really really think about spending child rearing years with a nasty little man.

I hope next year you are enjoying a lovely fluffy Christmas with a cherished child and people who actually care about you.

Shocking behaviour from your husband.

I would be ordering myself a lovely pair of pjs online today and telling him they are what you want.

He's showing you for who he is. Some men do this when we're at our most vulnerable.

Please tell us you've kept his back. Is there anywhere you can go to spend today? Leave him to his games.

I'd be promising him a divorce for Christmas. I echo a PP, pack a bag, go to your parents.