Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

He’s so horrible when you are at your most vulnerable! I think because he now thinks that he’s got you as you are pregnant. That you’ll put up with anything now to keep the family together. He’s showing his true colours now. I hope you didn’t give him any gifts! Sexy lingerie isn’t a gift for you it’s for him! What an arse!

You are not being unreasonable at all @SpookyTeacup - if he knew you at all, he would know it’s important to you.

He had time to pop to the shops - not sure about you but perfume, chocolates, nice make up - all
of these easy to buy things are always welcomed by me. Comfy jammies or a cosy dressing gown from M&S. So simple and easy.

Im sorry he did this to you - its wonderful that you are pregnant - I hope that he treats you and the baby better than this.

Hope you never gave him his gifts….

A box of chocolates would be massively welcomed as baby has a huge sweet tooth. I got literally nothing.

Just got off the phone with my mum and shes fuming, told me to go to hers for Christmas as... guess where he is currently? That's right, his beloved PC.

Sat on my own in the living room with nothing.

He got his presents, I just tipped them out of the bag onto the floor infront of him and sat and stared at him as he picked them up sheepishly. Hoping its made him feel shit/guilty, but I guess not if he's gone to play on his games.

Going to go out tomorrow and buy myself the one thing I've asked for. A pair of bloody pyjama bottoms.

Go to your mums my lovely. Cuddle up with a blanket and hopefully a nice dinner.
Deal with him tomorrow and he needs a wake up call for certain or he's gonna lose the best thing he's ever had.
Hope your baby gets some chocolate soon x

Go to your mums OP where you will feel loved and appreciated. There's no excuse for his behaviour. I hope there's a power cut today so he can't play on his precious PC! Look after number one ( and baby too).

Go to your mothers OP. Don't sit on your own hoping he's going to make it up to you in some way.

I’m so sorry he’s been such a shit OP. All the very best for you and your precious baby and the future

Go to your mum's and stay there for a few nights. Think about yourself and your baby, not him. Let your mum pamper you.

Oh OP I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I really thought he would surprise you with something. Go and enjoy your time with your mum, hopefully it makes you feel a bit better.

Good for your mum, go to hers right now. This is the moment you decide if you keep seething sadly in your living room with nothing, or take charge of your future. Please find some anger and save yourself and your baby from this miserable setup.

Go to your mums and be cared for and leave this bullying waster.

This. I’m afraid I’d also consider going to your mum’s permanently until you can set yourself up alone. This would be my last Christmas with this man-child.

My DH struggled when our children were young - he didn’t really get them, but he got me what every I asked for/needed. As they grew up, learned to communicate he grew into his dad role, so I know it doesn’t always come naturally to men - but finding parenting a bit tough isn’t an excuse to avoid it at all. And it’s no excuse for being a shit partner. OP you deserve better.

Power cuts can be arranged... 😈

I would go to your mums and stay there and see if he notices if you don’t come back. What exactly is he bringing to this relationship? He can’t even get what you ask for? Shit partners often make shit dads, sorry op.

Wow what a pure excuse for a man. Don't let him get away with this selfish shit as it'll set the tone for the next however many years in front of your child too.

Your miracle baby deserves a mum who feels spoiled and loved.

Fuck him off, and go to your mums alone. And hit the sales online. Chelsea Peers have an online sale and they are the best around.

Why have you gone through IVF with a selfish gamer ?

Please do!

And you need to put a stop to him buying himself presents (lingerie) and pretending they're for you.

Pack a bag and go get spoiled at your mum’s. On the way out, I’d get a pair of scissors and chop all the cords to the PC and take the mouse. What an absolute tosser. I would have chopped up/smashed his presents too, no way would he get any pleasure from them.

Go to your DMs today if you can Op, let him make his own dinner. Please don't stay home for his sake

None of your business.

What a prick! Pack a bag and go and be spoilt at your mums for a couple of days OP, treat yourself to something nice in the sales and focus on your gorgeous miracle that will be with you before you know it.

Also, who the fuck buys sexy lingerie for an 8 month pregnant woman with a history of body dysmorphia?

Just to add - I'm also a gamer, and enjoy vegetating on a game HOWEVER there is a time and place, Christmas not being one of them. I've nothing wrong if he wants to game one evening after a hard day of work, I completely understand we all need wind down time, but it shouldn't be a priority like he's treating it.

If shops were open today I'd have gone out shopping!

He does do house chores, I think one PP mentioned about it and I dont need to ask him. Usually if hes cleaning the kitchen I'll help out (I feel rude sitting if someone else is cleaning), but this morning I was quite happy to sit and watch him clean up the remnants of yesterday's cooking.

Not sure why you're with him tbh. He clearly doesn't love you or possibly even like you very much at all.

It is actually insane. An anonymous sperm donor would have been a better choice.

Also, if people can please stop commenting on me going through IVF/choices. Stop bringing my child into this - she will be loved irrelevant of who her father is.