Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

If you can't be needy when you're heavily pregnant then when can you?

It doesnt matter if you don't give a toss about gifts. So what?

This would really make me reconsider the relationship - I know some posters are saying ‘it’s just a present’ but I think it is a good representation of how he views your relationship. You asked him to get you what I personally consider a small, simple present, he either didn’t buy it or didn’t bother to check it would be here by Christmas. You made him aware what it meant to you, and he had ample time and means to buy it, but still didn’t. Now he has name-called as you are (quite rightly) upset. It doesn’t paint a picture of a man who values you and the much longed-for child you are carrying.

Perhaps no one ever told you that extrapolating from your own experience and then setting that as the norm makes you sound a bit of a smug twat.

The point isn't the present, it's the complete lack of care or interest. And given he's being shitty about it, she's not wrong in how she's interpreting it.

Which you know.

Why on Earth are you with him!??!?!? I'd tell him to leave the house for the day or if you feel more like it, you do. Go see some friends and family instead and only come back when ready to go to bed. I'd seriously consider leaving him. If he can't take good care of you when pregnant, how is he gonna take good care of you and a baby?! He sounds lame.

100% this! Tale as old as time. It only gets worse if the twat can't even buy a simple Christmas present for the woman he's supposed to love, carrying their miracle baby. I am so angry for you!

Sounds an absolute arse OP.

Lands End have lovely pj's with working drawstrings. Order three pairs of those.

Men that really love you dont need 'sexy outfits'. You are attractive 24/7 to them whatever the circumstances.
My husband has loved me at a size 24 and an 8. He'd dare not!
I'm afraid he sounds abusive, do not bring a child up in that type of household.

There's nothing wrong with wanting your partner to get you a Christmas present, and whoever said you're needy is talking bollocks. It's not unreasonable to want your partner to show they appreciate you with a thoughtful gift.

I'm sorry you're having a tough Christmas and I hope it improves. Go and see your family and friends, and I would honestly question your future with your partner as lack of gift aside, he seems cold and uncaring.

Good grief. What happened to your empathy? This thread is not about you and how you feel/would feel. Fucking hell....learn to read the room

Ow @SpookyTeacup i am so sorry to hear that you didn’t get anything to open this morning. This happened to me on my birthday, when I told him that I felt unvalued his response was that I was “ungrateful”!! For what he couldn’t say! He is now ex-DH because it got worse from there, I am truly hoping this isn’t the same for you.

I am sending a virtual hug. 🤗

What an absolute wanker. I had hoped his behaviour was a (poorly judged and not funny) 'wind up' and that he'd actually got you lovely, thoughtful things for this morning. I'm so sorry.

I’d be starting the new year as a single mother.

Merry Christmas to you my love. You’ll feel so much better without him 💪🏻

Have a medal. I don’t care about presents either but I’m not pregnant and feeling unloved!!! Her H (doesn’t deserve the D) is being a total shit, can you not see that?

Another here who isn't fussed for gifts but who also thinks OP's H has been a right cunt.

Honestly - I would ask for his card and treat yourself in the sales. Online today and in person tomorrow. If he won't do that I'd be counting that as a major red flag- will not admit he's fucked up and do anything to make it right. Some men are incapable of good present buying (I include my DH in that) however they should make up for the lack of surprise by buying you whatever you want whenever you want it. (Within reason, don't be a cheeky mare!)
I also think you need to have a chat about what parenthood is going to entail - he is going to be at the bottom for the next 3 years and he needs to be prepared for that! Even sensible professional apparently normal men turn into arseholes when confronted with that.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby. You are a fab mum.

Oh do me a favour and go away with your patronising holier than thou comment. Nice to kick someone when they’re down.

And this man is going to be a father? Wow.

If this isn’t your sign to leave him then I don’t know what is.

OP I’m so sorry! Sending hugs and a little Christmas cheer xx

I don’t think you are being unreasonable because it’s not like you were asking for much. I mean it’s not like you were being demanding and asking for much, a pair of pjs woudn’t have killed him to sort out . If anyone is being a big baby it’s him…I hope he realises the error of his ways and apologises later.

Men show their true selves once a woman is pregnant. Get out op asap and raise your baby in a safe and loving environment

Well bully for you!

Yes this. Id be doing some Irish dancing on his games console.

Oh I’m so sorry to read your post this morning OP.
Just read it to my DH and he said your H is a prick.
I really hope someone spoils you this Christmas.
Wishing you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy, a true gift coming to you in approx 10 weeks time 🥰

He sounds nasty. Was hoping his laughing when you previously mentioned shops being open still was because he had actually got you something.
I think you should gift yourself a divorce for Christmas. If he acts like this now what is he going to be like with a baby around. You don't deserve this.

Huge sympathy OP, I for one will be thinking of you today and hoping it gets better. You've been with this man for a long while, there's a reason he's acting badly now and it must be to do with you being pregnant.

Not unheard of I'm afraid. Much love to you.x

What a load of crap.

OP please ignore posts like this from the "I don't expect anything" holier-than-thou brigade. You have every right to feel upset with your DH'S lack of effort and care. It's completely normal to expect a gift from your partner on Christmas Day, and I don't blame you one bit for feeling let down. I would too in your shoes!

Please make sure you let him know just how unacceptable this is. You deserve much better.