Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

She wouldn't be stepping foot in my home again. In fact I wouldn't give her a heads up, and would get the keys back tonight!

She cannot be trusted in any way. Retrieve the keys, change the alarm code, then inform her that she is no longer needed.

Nobody cleans well enough for that to be excused. Sack her.

How odd.

But how long has she been pretending it’s her house ? Can you check her fb or other platforms. It’s a little unnerving 😬

It is a back handed compliment and I would feel a bit sad for her. She obviously wishes she had your life. What is her home like?

(also selfishly speaking, she has done something weird but if she is a good cleaner and doesn’t steal from you I’d be wanting to keep her!)

I’d 100% be commenting on the posts. If you sack her, she’ll likely make a sympathy-grabbing post and advertising for new clients. If you comment, pointing out she’s broken your trust and is claiming your possessions as her own, she’ll not be as likely to replace you as easily.

Does this not make you question what else she might be photographing in your house? This woman has a key to your home and your alarm code OP: can you seriously not see how dangerous this behaviour is?

Nope. This is very Single White Female. She spent be setting foot over my threshold again and I’d be changing the locks. She is showing signs of being unhinged.

Surely if she posted under her own name, in her local area, her own friends and family would also see and presumably know it isn’t her home? So why would she bother?

I feel like I'm quite a forgiving person but I agree with all of the previous posters that this is absolutely a reason to get rid of her and to change your locks and alarm codes. Its so weird!

I think id do as a pp suggested and not shame or embarass her but text her and let her know you've seen it and ask her to take it down then just say given what's happened she shouldn't come back.

Just no.

Having a sad or difficult life compared to you or anyone else is absolutely no excuse. She has hugely broken trust by photographing your house and then lying to strangers pretending it's her house!

She sounds batshit and I would be worried about what else she may do in future or may have already done!? I would message her with screenshots, tell her to put your keys back through your letterbox and tell her to remove the social media post. No way would I want her back in my house.

Terrible breach of trust. That would be the end of it for me.

YANBU at all. I’ve read the whole thread and there is a lot of good advice here.
Firstly, there could be photos of your own family in the background of the photos the cleaner took.
Secondly, this is a huge breach of trust. As others have said, there could be many other things the cleaner could have taken photos of and passed them off as hers. You don’t know at all how long this has been going on.
Thirdly, she’s a CF. It’s up to you OP whether you choose to continue to employ her but if you do I would suggest a nannycam or something similar in your home for when she comes to clean. If you decide to sack her, get round to her house unannounced and get the keys back. Do this before she can get her own set cut. Once the trust has gone it will just worry you.
“Tired Mum of three” - what a martyr!

That was my first thought

Your cleaner probably earns more than me, my house is very modest and I still think that's really fucking wierd. What on earth is she thinking. I don't think I would go nuts either because it is quite sad, but I'd certainly get a new cleaner.

This is clearly a sackable offence. Up to you whether you really want to overlook it or just get the post taken down. Personally I couldn't move past it given the level of access she has to your home and the breach of privacy and security she has committed here. You don't mention whether you have DC in the house but that would make it even worse. But you are NOT unreasonable to feel this is weird and inappropriate. You would be unreasonable to decide not to act because your cleaner is overly sensitive to criticism.

I think this says an lot about her character- ie. she’s a massive liar and doesn’t respect her clients.

Yeah she wouldn't be cleaning for me again

Given her obvious lack of boundaries I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a spare set.

This. Bit annoyed? I’d hit the fucking roof.

Can this really have happened?

Surely no need to change the locks, just change the alarm code.

I’m sure your house is lovely, Any chance of posting some pictures on here?
We MNetters are unlikely to burgle you, not like the locals to whom your cleaner has shockingly displayed your home.

I mean she's a liar. I wouldn't want to employ someone who is untrustworthy (& unhinged 😂🙈).

I'd have to sack her.

Also screenshot and respond with a shocked emjie.

I'd go nuts!!. When I did domestic cleaning I wouldn't have dreamed of taking photos of a client's house. That's outrageous.