Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Comment: ooooh lovely. I wished I lived somewhere with such gorgeous decs….

I'd be cringing so hard if this was me. Once I'd gotten over it I would send her a photo of her post and tell her that her employment has ended!

That’s freaky. I think it’s sackable as well. It’s an invasion of your privacy, plus a security risk. What else does she get up to when you’re not there?

Exactly. I doubt that this is the first time.

Sorry, next time she came to work I'd be asking for my keys and changing the code.
I'd also message a moderator to have the post taken down from the fb site.

It's really sad 😔 I don't know what else to say really.

I wouldn't want someone that deranged to have access to my house op, she sounds nuts.

I’d be thinking is she regularly pretending she has your life and then sack her.

I agree

I’d screeenshot the post, send it to her and tell her to remove it ASAP and return your keys. I’d probably also change the locks, that’s absolutely bonkers behaviour.

It's a bit creepy. If I were you, I'd say nothing in case you upset her, then in a couple of months tell her you are having to cut back and will have to let her go. Then get another cleaner. She could be a bit unhinged . It's quite a weird thing to do.

Thing is she can admire the decs. Even if you are not too fussed about the photos she could have just shared them. But she’s claiming it’s her home that she’s put the effort and money into. That’s a step too far even for a forgiving person.

This is the start of a thriller stalker film...

It's the deceit that would bother me even more than the breach of privacy

I would just leave it personally. Shes clearly sad about not being able to have a lovely home like you do, made a bad judgment call, but theres no harm.

I think it’s odd and funny, but I would have to say something. It’s an invasion of privacy and if they can’t be trusted they have to go. What if she shared photos of ‘personal’ items!

A bit creepy - only you can decide if her envy about your home, which she clearly wants to pass off as hers, will stop at social media posts.

Is there any chance, if you're not around, and she has keys, it might go further and she'd invite people around?

I'd ask for keys back, making up an excuse that you didn't have time to get them copied and need to give them to someone else, and just make sure you're there when she's there of you really don't want to sack her.

Guilt that you are better off than her. I do know what you mean but if we extrapolate that out then where would we be? Prison tariff for theft of a Rolex - well if you could have saved and afforded one then you get the book thrown at you. if you'd never in a million years be able to afford one - slap on the wrist and sympathy? I am exaggerating of course and not suggesting that what she has done is like theft but people get away with a hell of a lot beacuse people feel sorry for them or guilt about what they have.

You may be better employing a cleaning company and always being out when the cleaner comes.

OP you don’t owe this person anything and it’s not your fault if their circumstances are difficult.

I would NOT post on her post or let her know you’ve seen it. She has your keys and alarm code for goodness sake.

you need to get rid as this is a massive breach of privacy and weird as fuck even if there is no malicious intent.

you need to find a way of letting her know you no longer require her services and get your key back ideally before. And change your alarm code.

Ive voted YNBU because you absolutely aren’t, but I would find this absolutely hilarious if it happened to me. You’re quite within your rights to be pissed off though.

She's dishonest, and she doesn't respect OP 's privacy. You honestly think those things should be overlooked in someone who has access to someone's home, property and private belongings?

She’s a nutter. Change your locks and tell her why you’re sacking her.

Sack her - but first do a thorough insta and facebook stalk - i reckon she regularly poses and takes photos of your (obviously beautiful) home to pass it off as hers. Therefore, she really shouldn't have keys to your home!

This is mad. Are you the cleaner?!

Complete breach of trust, she has no respect for you or your home.
She has also shown herself as a liar. For me, this would definitely be a sackable offence.