Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

[DeadlyDead]

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Bit weird and not sure it would be something I’d be comfortable with.
It would also make me wonder if she’s done anything like that before…. Have you checked her Facebook profile?

If she’s brazen enough to post in a large group where people she may know are in it chances are she will post elsewhere too including her own profile.

Sorry, I couldn’t let that go and I would be prepared to lose a cleaner over it.

I’d be checking if she’s doing it on instagram too. She sounds like one of those unhinged influencers that pretends that they have a completely different life/home.

You’re going to sack her, right???

I'd comment under the post asking where she got a particular decoration from and say ' i got it from Next in 2019 so I doubt it's your Nans'

She's probably posted photos of herself wearing your clothes on Insta 🤣🤣🤣

I’d be annoyed if it was just the pics, but the pretending it’s her house and decor thing is fucking weird.

Living her life via your home online. Creepy. Fired she should be. New alarm code and keys.

Weird and a disturbing breach of privacy. Presumably she’s wanting attention - for something she doesn’t have, but the inside of your house is now exposed to the views of a big group. Either she takes the pics down immediately or it’s bye bye.

I couldn’t trust someone who does this. What else could she be photographing and sharing from my home.

As a first step I’d definitely screenshot and send it to her asking her to take it down. Wouldn’t care if she took it ‘badly’.

If she’s comfortable doing this I would wonder what else she’s done over the years? Maybe trying your clothes on and taking photos? I definitely agree this is a sackable offence.

That makes no sense, surely anyone who knows her and where she lives would know it’s not her house? Unless she’s previously posted pics of your house saying it’s hers. But even then she must have some friends, family, neighbours who knows where she lives.

She sounds like a complete nutcase. I’d definitely be looking for another cleaner.

What that deep? To think someone’s strange for wasting their time faking their home? I don’t think that’s normal behaviour and I wouldn’t want to associate with anyone that was that sad tbh.

Is her house like your house, like could people think it’s her home.

I would shame her and sack her. Message her with this if you are too angry to speak to her -

‘Fiona, you are employed as my cleaner and have breached my trust with this gross invasion of privacy and telling a pack of lies and posting photos of my home on social media claiming this your own home and possessions. Remove your post and delete the photos. I no longer wish to have you in my home because of this awful violation you have committed.’ Then you can add your terms of employment and give her notice etc.

At the same time so that you can warn other people who are thinking about employing her, make a post under her her posts and state - ‘THIS IS NOT FIONA’S HOME! SHE WORKS AS MY CLEANER AND THIS IS MY HOME. I HAVE ASKED HER TO DELETE HER POST.’

Id ask her to remove the post

That’s really scary !!!

A compliment but also very strange 🤔

See, I think this is what’s stopping me going absolutely nuts at her. Without sounding like a complete knob, our situations really are very different. I do have a lovely house and get a lot of compliments on it. It’s large and probably quite “Instagrammable”. Plus my decor is quite cool. I could see why someone who not in the best position would want people to think they have something really lovely.

(I appreciate I do sound like a complete knob).

This isn’t on - and I’m a VERY forgiving person.
I would post on her post to say something- I wouldn’t shame her because it’s just possible she’s the fragile dangerous type or really close to having a breakdown, so I think I’d say something like “let’s discuss this” and then she will have the heads up you saw it and that you are going to fire her.
And you should.
It’s very much not okay for her to have taken the images, let alone share them so publicly and deceitfully.

I suppose it’s arguable that she wasn’t actually pretending it was her house but hoping people would assume it was (and if directly asked she could say to you that she was showing how well she’d cleaned it - but the candleholder comment rules that out.

Shes deceptive - and I couldn’t trust her again.

You don’t know what else she might do from spite if she knows you know. It’s so very very strange that it’s in the zone of things you’d never expect to happen and THAT is why I’d fire her because what else has she/could she do.

I would have to sack her for this, it’s just too weird and intrusive.

I would sack her immediately. I value my privacy and her taking photos in my house would be enough for me to end her employment. That she's put the photos up on Facebook, and claimed that the tree is hers, is vastly worse and a MASSIVE red flag.

If be wondering what what she'd been photographing and sharing elsewhere. She'd be gone ten minutes after I saw that, and I can't believe that you're considering keeping her on.

This🤣🤣

Oh my god, this is awful! I see this as a major red flag. Not just as a cleaner, but as a human being. That’s unhinged behaviour. I have a friend who looked up her cleaner on Facebook and in her profile picture she was wearing a top that belonged to my friend that she had stolen from her home. It was a distinctive top that my friend had bought years before. She thought some cash was going walk about too. Turns out it was, she had stolen loads over the years.

If your cleaner can tell a whopper of a lie like this on social media where thousands of people will see it I think she would think nothing of stealing things.

If it were me I would message her:

‘Please can you take down the picture of my home that you have uploaded to ‘What’s going on in Timbuktu’. It’s had several hundred comments and thousands of views. I have had many friends and family who have recognised MY home and are very confused.

This is a huge invasion of my trust and privacy and please take this is termination of our relationship. I no longer require your cleaning services, so please don’t come as planned on January 5th.

I wish you well, but what a sad way to end things - I won’t take this further but I suggest you don’t upload your client’s homes on the internet in the future.

I think it's really nice that you're considering her angle on it - it's weird as fuck but it's obviously aspirational, in the way that people will instagram themselves in the lounge they've paid for at the airport and then shuffle off to their economy seats. It's a bit sad, really, that she wants the validation of it.

That said, it's really fucking weird of her to do it and especially somewhere you could stumble across it, and I think I'd have to say something unless she's the best cleaner in the entire world.